Who are you guys and what's this site all about?
♦The Authors: Turtle and Michele
We're two people. The Turtle, an anonymous kinda guy from California, and Michele, a not so anonymous chick from Lawn Guyland. Yea, we're operating out of two coasts here, but that's all gonna change soon. Stay tuned for tales of a life long Californian transplanting himself in New York. That's the stuff sitcoms are made of, kids.
Turtle is a punk rocker turned tech guy. Michele is government employee who wastes your tax money by sleeping at her desk. Oh, and if you haven't already figured it out, we're kinda in love. It's why we work so well together here.
Basically, this site gives us a chance to do something together. We both like to write, we both like to laugh and make people laugh, we both like punk rock and fast cars and and all the other crazy stuff we write about it. Why not share it with other people? So that's what we do. We write, we have fun, we hope you do, too.
Ok, so what have we got here?
♦Guest Writers
As the site grows, we will add on guest writers who will have their own permanent time slots at FTTW.
Our first such writer is thefinn. We loved the stories he told in the comments and asked him to join us as a permanent author here. And he did!
thefinn hides in his secret lair buried miles below South Philadelphia, making plans and biding his time.... He's currently raising the future dictator of the world, making sweet love to his lady and watching Death Race 2000 for the gajillionth time....
You can find all of thefinn's posts linked in the fttw sidebar.
♦The Disclaimer
Making a disclaimer about everything in every post got redundant, so we decided to just put one here. A lot of our stories take place in the way past. The things we did back then, we would never condone now. Some of the things that you read about us have paid a heavy toll on our lives. Relationships smashed, dead friends, time in jail and other bad things. Turtle does a lot with AA and has for a few years, speaking about the dangers of over consumption. Michele hasn't touched a drug since the 80's and has left that past behind. Sure, these stories are funny, but you have to remember, all of these things we did came with a heavy price. To our younger readers, remember one thing. We can't tell you how to live, only how we lived. And if you think what we did was so cool, trust us that the end result of that stuff was not cool. When you play, you have to pay. That's just what happens.
We tell these stories now because they are funny to look back on and laugh at, but in no way would we ever condone anyone to doing anything like this. It's just what we did.
♦We've Got a Date With The Underground
A continuing series of sometimes funny, always entertaning stories about a guy's days playing with some punk rock bands. Stories about life on the road, playing shows and all the things that come with that kind of career. This whole series came out when Michele and the Turtle met and some stories were exchanged. This is the product of both their ideas. Turtle writes them, Michele provides some inspiration and crossed the i's and dots the t's. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoy putting them together.
♦Cars
Part of the reason we started writing together is because we realized we had a mutual love of muscle cars. While T craves a 73 Barracuda and M craves a 71 Chevelle SS, we both agree that classic muscle cars kick all kinds of ass and we started off our little site by writing about that. But it's not just muscle cars here. Sometimes we make fun of cars (see, Pacer). Sometimes there are fictional cars. Sometimes we just go totally off the wall and start out writing about a car but end writing about Little House on the Prairie.
♦Music From The Vault
Album reviews? Not really. More like thoughts on how these albums made us feel at the time, or make us feel now. Or just random observations about the songs. Or somehow fitting observations about Little House on the Prairie into a reflection on a Supersuckers album. We work on whim here, folks.
♦ Lists
We're both a bit on the obsessive compulsive side, so list making is just a natural thing for us. We've got 100 best punk songs, favorite Misfits songs, punk albums of the 80's and more - with a whole lot more to come. Lists! We love them! We're gonna make a list of all the lists we want to make! We're gonna make a list of all the Little House episodes! No, no we're not. No.
♦100 Best Punk Songs
This was a list that was weeks in the making. We did it with the help of our readers. Each song had a mini review. And at the end, the readers voted and we made a top 15. It was a lot of fun and if you missed, you can hear/read about some great songs in those lists.
♦Late Night Typing
Life is weird when you have two people on opposite coasts trying to live in each other's time frame. You get all kinds of fucked up in the head. And when that happens, these late night posts happen. Stories about LSD and mescaline, riots, evil arcade games, Barney Rubble getting it on with Charles Ingalls while Laura goes blind.....damn that three hour time difference, it really messes with you.
♦What's Playing
Both T and M hit the music player at any given time and see what's in there. What did T have on pause? What did M have next on shuffle in the winamp? Whatever song it is, we do a short review of it. And then ask you to tell us what you are listening to right then. Damn, I don't have a Little House joke here.
♦Movies, Monsters and Mayhem
T and M love movies. So we review, analyze, make fun of, fight about and examine the movies that shaped our lives. We do polls and surveys and movie games and sometimes argue over whether or not Mr. Patrick Swayze is the most underrated actor ever. Or if the Ewoks deserve to die.
♦Music
Every post we do has songs to go with it. We take our time picking out these songs - 90% of them are punk rock tunes and maybe like 1% of them are shit like Puff the Magic Dragon or the theme to Little House. Or was that the A-Team? Doesn't matter. Every single mp3 we offer up for your listening pleasure is listed in the sidebar. If you like the music, buy the CD. Support the artists.
So you as can see, this site has alot to do with the friendship, love, and need for fun of the turtle and Michele. You're never going to get anything full on serious here. Everything is always going to have some twist or smile in it. Sometimes, certain stories might sound mean or the references might seem a little out of place for the context of the story, but you know we really don't care. As long as we can work a Little House reference in there, as long as Laura goes blind at some point and Nelle Oleson gets her ass beat, as long as we have fun, that's all that matters. We are glad you have decided to ride with us, but in the end, all that matters is that we made ourselves laugh and if some of you smiled along the way with us? Well, fuck yeah.
Enjoy the site.
Cause we do.
Links to everything mentioned here are in the sidebar on the main page.
-Michele and Turtle
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