Here are some general tips for not being a dick at the office:
1. If you are surrounded by others, in cube-land, please keep bodily emmissions as private as possible. We don't want to listen to you belch all fucking afternoon.
2. The men's room is not a place for whistling. It is not a place for humming and it is not a place to work on your vocal techniques. I know you think you sing like Eric Clapton, but I don't want to be your audience. Especially when I'm taking a piss. Thank you. Silence in the Men's room is mandatory. Eyes forward at all times.
3. Put your fucking shoes on. I do not want to see your bare feet. Do not walk into my cubicle wearing just your socks or even worse, just bare feet. Or I will stomp on them. Or leave some thumb-tacks on the floor in the hallway. Seriously. Put some shoes on. What the hell is the matter with you?
4. If you spilled something in the kitchen at home would you just leave that giant mess and walk away? No you wouldn't because you know you'd get an ass-kicking. And you would deserve one. Unfortunately most offices frown on ass-kicking. I wish we could have office linebackers that could do the ass-kicking in these situations but unfortunately that is just pretend. So clean up after yourselves.
5. If you went out and exercised on your lunch break, good for you. You are now so wicked buff. Chances are you are now stinky as well. Please consider applying deodorant. This is not really a request. Thank you.
Cube Dwelling Drones everywhere thank you.
- Some Cube Dwelling Drone
Comments (5)
6. The first time you told me you liked the pink shirt I have, I appreciated it. The second time, I figured you just forgot about the first time. But the third and fourth times kind of pissed me off. You don't have to rain compliments on people everytime you see the same fucking shirt/blouse/shoes/pants that you think look "snazzy" on them, so quit being so fucking happy and go to some goddamn work.
Posted by Uberchief | May 16, 2007 11:40 AM
Posted on May 16, 2007 11:40
#. NO reheating Korean food in the break room's microwave. Yes, it most certainly is delicious, but seriously...the smell of hot kimchee should be saved for the streets of Seoul.
Posted by Timmer | May 16, 2007 11:49 AM
Posted on May 16, 2007 11:49
If you don't like the smell of my left over fish, tough shit, I'm still re-heating it.
Posted by Some other cube dweller | May 16, 2007 12:20 PM
Posted on May 16, 2007 12:20
If you don't like the smell of my left over fish, tough shit, I'm still re-heating it.
People like you are the bane of my existence.
Posted by Uberchief | May 16, 2007 12:50 PM
Posted on May 16, 2007 12:50
//If you don't like the smell of my left over fish, tough shit, I'm still re-heating it.
People like you are the bane of my existence.//
Deal with it pal.
Posted by Some other cube dweller | May 16, 2007 1:37 PM
Posted on May 16, 2007 13:37