well, well, well . . . (faster than the blog)

well, well, well . . .

II usually hate sequels and remakes. Very few movies are good enough to provide the source material for a new look and fresh approach. Also, very few directors are talented enough to pull off a good sequel. Certain exceptions pop to mind - the "Oceans 11, 12, 13" movies; "Casino Royale"; "Clerks II". However, many more terrible films pop to mind than good, especially in the horror genre - the endless "Friday the 13th" sequels; "Nightmare on Elm Street’s” never-ending production of shite; even "Hellraiser", after the awesome first and promising second films, went straight down the crapper. The arrogance of studios, writers, and directors is breathtaking; they immediately assume that brand name trumps quality every time and, unfortunately, most of the time, they are correct. Moviegoers flock in droves to see the latest "product", get some gore, and leave vaguely satisfied. Christ is that pitiful . . .

This is all the more reason I was astounded and elated to hear that Rob Zombie was taking on a remake of “Halloween”. I remember seeing "House of a Thousand Corpses" and thinking that he had some talent behind the lens and that he might turn out to be a keeper. Then, he made a movie that I view as a trailer park/white trash/kid of the 70s/burnout/pick whatever label might fit you - you know if you are one of US, gabba gabba hey - "Citizen Kane": "The Devil's Rejects". Godamighty, did that movie have it all - Sid Haig, Rob's wife Shari that every man but me (I got an Irish redhead, suckers. Envy all you want) drooled over, superior cinematography and directing, and a soundtrack that kicks much ass. After we finished viewing this film, I had to ask my wife Holly if I should feel bad for thinking it was one of the ten best films I had ever seen. I know, I know . . . those of you who don't "get" horror, those of you who are into the reviewer-endorsed, Academy-nominated films are probably nauseous right now and that's okay. I think that there are some good/great films to be found in that vast category. I also think that most of those "cinema" cognoscenti wouldn't know a good comedy film/performance if it bit them on the ass. ANY actor/actress that is honest will tell you that comedy is THE hardest thing to pull off. And as far as horror goes, unless it's "Silence of the Lambs" (which IS a horror movie, don't kid yourself), it doesn't exist . . .

So suck on this, hipsters: HALLOWEEN FREAKIN' RULES!!!! Finally, a horror movie one can mention/recommend to non-horror fans without hesitation. Unless the person(s) in question have bad stomachs 'cause they are up shit creek, paddles optional. That is really what grabs your attention-this movie is visceral. When Holly and I saw it with a couple of our friends, the audience was cool through the emotional and verbal abuse in the first twenty minutes or so of the movie. I guess our society has been desensitized to that kind of violence, the assault on the psyche that we somehow condone. However, the first killing by a young Michael Myers sent half the audience out and on to other entertainment. Why? Because it was difficult, brutal and remorseless. There was no camp humor here - it was just the beating to death of another human. As I was saying, all of a sudden, there was PLENTY of leg room. Even the idiot two rows behind us giving the play-by-play left, praise Jah.

As a total aside, why are there even ushers anymore? They all seem to be teenage boys, afraid to offend some loser patron who truly NEEDS to be asked to leave and also wanting to appear cool for his friends. What the Hell? I vote for steroid-amped college athletes/powerlifters/martial artists looking to earn some extra cheese. When I was crew chief of stagehands at a local club a few years back, our security for big shows was a presence not to be messed with. Not abusive or threatening but when the line was crossed, someone had to pay the bill. I witnessed one shithead being thrown through the doorframe of the main entrance. That was awesome . . . anyway, just a thought or modest proposal.

Rob Zombie brings most of the actors in his other movies along for the ride here and most to good effect. And then he adds Malcolm McDowell in the Donald Pleasance role. How good Malcolm McDowell is has been vastly underrated for years now and he more than holds his own here.

Another fine touch - Rob Zombie actually nails the Seventies on film. Not what you or you or me or my wife or the Pope remember them as. Not how they were "supposed" to be. Not suburban myths, dope smoke and AM radios, tho' there WERE plenty of those to go around. No, he actually gets the feel to go with the details to combine with little lighting/camera angle homages to great horror/thriller movies of the time. It's as Seventies as an ABC Afterschool Special. I miss those; they were ALWAYS good for a laugh. Bring back Quualudes and lava lamps. Shag carpet for everyone!

Anyway . . . enough psycho-babble (Qu'est-ce que c'est?) - go see it if you have an open mind for what a "good" movie is. If you need someone else (effete or macho), to see one for you and THEN tell you to see it, don't bother. To paraphrase Rob Zombie's quote, "No one's laughing at Michael Myers". Not anymore.

Jim Sells

posted on September 26, 2007 4:19 PM Posted on September 26, 2007 4:19 PM | Permalink

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