faster than the blog

PRE GAME

Yeah – I missed it. I was getting set-up and getting my Dad settled into his chair.

I’m sure it was THRILLING. The Pre-game, not getting my Dad in his chair (he had major surgery on Sunday – and he’s home already). He’s fine, he has Codeine.

I’m watching the CBC broadcast, NBC can suck my arse.

Opening theme music is rockin’, although I have no idea who it is, probably Lincoln Park.

Ba Da DaDaDa and HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA IS ON THE AIR EH!

Oh shit – Das Arnold is with Grapes and Ron. He has a bet with our Premiere, something about wine and Tim Horton’s coffee.

I can’t understand a word he’s saying. Where’s a good explosion when you need one. I think Grapes is going to kiss him.

BOOOOOO’s Ah my Sens are taking to the ice… I’m all a tingle.

Now there’s some kind of roar and I’m suddenly craving Chinese food. Don’t know why that is?

Emery is 3-0 in first games.

There are the anthems… (assholes should shut their fekking pie holes and maybe have some respect for my anthem and 70 or so % of “their” team – okay the cheer at the end made up for it, although I think it was the same ass who was yelling during the color presentation. Wow Nash, sounds flat – The American National Anthem may be one of the hardest to sing (5 key changes), but it’s also the most fun one to sing – he sounds like shit, they should have had the blond chick sing that one too) and…

JEBUS start the damn name again. Maybe Ah-nald will slip and break his leg again?

And…

PERIOD ONE

You want to know something fucked up? THIS GAME? It’s the FIRST TIME Anaheim and Ottawa have played each other this season. Meanwhile the Sens played the Leafs about 100 times.

Great schedule Bettman.

The Officials? All Canadian (one lives in my hometown).

And…

…we’re off! (finally) – ‘m glad I missed the pre-game. Jebus It’s twenty fekking after.

Slow start, Teams are feeling each other out, getting a feel…

First penalty to Anaheim – Neidermayer for High-Sticking.

GOAL!!! At 1:38 for OTTAWA!!! (Commrie)

WHOOT! WHOOT!! I am doing the Bat Dance babies…

No chance for Anaheim. They should watch their stupid penalties.

Ottawa penalty – Heatley (damn) – Tripping at around 2:30.

They should watch the stupid penalties too.

Anaheim can’t seem to figure out the Ottawa Penalty kill, in-out-in-out…

No shots on Emery during that power play.

5 minutes gone. Already? It seems pretty slow so far.

That’s a very, girly star in the neutral zone. Shocking, Well… the pink around it is anyway…

Goal will be changed to Fisher. Also Ottawa is 8-0 in this post season, when they score first – just saying.

Ottawa’s defense is stymieing the Ducks – they got nothing.

OOOOOOOOOH – Alfie comes thisclose to scoring the second goal.

AHHHHHHHH – Break for the Ducks and… nothing.

Now they’re having words, I’m trying to read lips… Ahh they’re talking about their mothers, how sweet.

Emery just mad an amazing save (Ducks – Perry), was that Anaheim’s first or second shot on goal?

Seriously, the Ducks can’t seem to buy a shot on goal, they can barely make it into the Ottawa zone – and I’m not just saying that cuz I hate them.

Okay they BOUGHT ONE GOAL.

Drew Miller (1st playoff game). FAST goal. Beautiful hard shot from the slot – high over Emery’s glove. Emery should have had it.

Game is tied 1-1. Crowd is back into it. All 17,000, or so, of them.

Whoo – the Ducks ore on fire now, HARD hits, another great chance, Sens are trying to keep up.

CLEAR THE FEKKING PUCK YOU WANKERS!

Finally!

7 minutes left in the period.

Pace has slowed after the commercial break. Sens still don’t have any pick-up, or SUVs for that matter.

Damn – late shot, Ottawa player gets a nice fist in the face. Penalties are…

Ducks – Rick Jackman – Roughing. I’m picturing Hugh… Give me a moment…

So far so good for the Ducks on this penalty kill.

Penalty over.

3 minutes left in the period.

Last minute to play in the first period.

And… SCENE.

Shots were: 4 Ottawa and 8 Anaheim. They REALLY came on strong in the last half of the period!

The Ducks are trying to wear the faster Sens down with their heavy hitting. Trouble is, Ottawa is giving just as good as they’re getting, Most of the time.

Who will survive the second period? Will the Sens wake the fek up? Will Anaheim learn where the net is and shoot at it instead of around it? Tune in…

PERIOD TWO

Okay – I got it wrong, the Ducks first goal was scored by McDonald. The player, not the clown. Miller did the hit that got him the ice he needed to score. Miller (who’s Buffalo Goalie – Ryan Miller’s brother) looks young in his interview between periods, except for the grey hair that’s poking out behind his ears. Sexy.

Away we go!

First Shot – Anaheim, Second, Third, Fourth… Jaysus.

Penalty to Ottawa – Redden for hooking. Anaheim’s forward checkers kept Ottawa’s first line (Alfie, Heatley, Spezza) to ONE shot in the first.

They’re looking much more organized this power play, they’re actually getting shots.

Pronger got two good shots from the blue line, right on Emery. Nice saves, both were well screened.

Penalty has ended.

Good pressure by Ottawa, SHOOOOOOOT. Damn

Ducks penalty – 15 (Getzlaf) cross check.

Short handed chance for Neidermayer… Easy stop for Emery.

Great pressure by Ottawa… SCORE!!!!! Redden! At around 5 minutes.

Ottawa Leads 2-1

G didn’t have his stick, they couldn’t get it back to him – Neidermayer knocked it away initially. Nice goal! The bar should have gotten an assist though.

LET’S GO SEN-A-TORS!

14 minutes remaining.

Emery is getting good at angles as Anaheim tries to pressure to get their goal back.

Oooooh. Anaheim penalty – Tripping, No idea who.

Another Anaheim penalty – Slashing Pahlson (26). What the hell is happening to Anaheim’s discipline? Seriously.

5 on 3 – can the Ducks handle the pressure from the team that have scored BOTH their goals on power plays?

Yes, damn it.

11 minutes left in the period.

Both teams have ramped up their play, but Ottawa seems to have more skill in keeping it in the Anaheim zone.

Anaheim gets their revenge and has a couple of good opportunities. Until they lost it.

Now in the Ducks zone, to the Sens zone.

It feels like I’m watching tennis.

I’m sleepy. I should have napped this afternoon. I wonder if I have any Red Bull…

6 minutes left in the period.

Both teams are playing pretty evenly, although I’d have to give this period to the Sens, they’ve had less shots thus far, but have created WAY better scoring chances.

It’s hard to type with a 15 pound cat on your chest, just sayin’

3 minutes left in the period.

I may have fallen asleep.

It’s just a lot of back and forth, advantage Anaheim for the last few minutes. Emery made a good save, followed by a scrambling cover that may have saved a goal.

DO the people banging on the glass really think the players give a shit? What are they trying to convey, That their team rules? That they are trapped? That they need more beer? Where’s Unsolved mysteries when you need.

Last minute of play!

Whoa, Fast, excellent chance by Anaheim. DENIED!

Ottawa is having a problem with give aways in the neutral zone. THAT could be problematic.

Shots this period: 10 Ottawa and 10 Anaheim.

I’m going to find some red Bull, Or possibly the sugar bowl.

PERIOD THREE

16 minutes left in the period. Breaks just aren’t what they used to be eh?

My Dad says that there have been some good chances on both sides though. It’s still 2-1 Ottawa.

I’m impressed that nobody scored on the Sens without me doing the breathing thing that I do for them in the third period…

DAMN IT!!!!!!! 25 Getzlaf, little bugger.

Tied game 2-2 – SEE WHAT HAPPENS?

They deserve it though, they’ve been playing really well for at least half the game…

Bastards.

Fucking GIVEAWAYS! Jebus H. Christmas on a stick! They give it away, lose control and then take STUPID FEKKING PENALTIES.

Ottawa Penalty – Slashing (Schubert- damn peanuts characters and their fekking penalties).

Its SLOPPY hockey, Junior A level mistakes (and believe me, I watched enough of them last season – GO COUGARS).

I’m still tired – Didn’t find an energy drink, but I did find oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I’m good for at least 10 more minutes.

WOW! Anaheim is really pushing. Of the two teams right now? I have to say that I think that the Ducks want the win more. Ottawa better get their GD act together or they’re going to be also rans and make the Toronto Maple Leaf fans ESTATIC – and NO ONE wants that.

Jebus – nice DELAYED whistle. Results in a scrum – I’m surprised that no one started doing anything more than wrestling. Maybe a good fight is what the Sens need to give them some fire.

Does either team have a bruiser? I don’t think they do…

Power play over.

11 minutes left in the period.

GREAT save by Emery and they’re STILL pressuring. How long till we get a penalty? Oh Jebus, OTTAWA WAKE THE FUCK UP!

Ahem, Ottawa Penalty – Mezaros for Interference – Moron.

Emery is hot though – pulling most of those stops out of thin air.

POST!

WIDE!

CLEARED!

STILL OUT!

STILL OUT!

BLOCKED!

CLEARED!

8 minutes left in the period.

Penalty is over.

Know what I’ve noticed? Where’s Pronger, he’s been kind of a non-entity for the Ducks tonight…

Ducks still pressuring, it’s almost like they’re playing with the Sens, Not nice! Funny to watch though.

Anaheim Penalty – Neidermayer for Hooking (weak penalty).

GO SENS GO!

OUT! Jebus

SHOOOOOOOOOT! For the love of GOB!

CLEARED!

OFFSIDE!

GIVEAWAY!

SLOPPY!

BASTARDS!

FUCKING OFFSIDE AGAIN!

Penalty over.

The Sens suddenly remember how to pressure! Now that the teams are at full strength. Brilliant.

Then give the puck away again.

This period has been ALL Ducks.

And my Father has now gone to bed, poor guy.

3 minutes remaining in the period.

ANAHEIM SCORES! Filthy bastards.

3-2 Ducks.

At least there won’t be overtime (she says, hoping that the cruel hockey Gods will make there be overtime).

2 minutes remaining

Last minute to play in the third period.

Nice scrum and chance by Ottawa. Excellent save by G…Damn it.

Time out Ottawa.

Face off in the Duck zone.

Won by Ottawa.

Anaheim Penalty – Pronger (there he is) for hooking.

Like it matters, she says despondently.

Ottawa net is empty BTW.

Kept in. SHOOT

22 seconds

FIRES, DEFLECTED.

DAMIN IT ALL TO HECK!

Another one goal game. *sigh*

Still 4 more wins for the Sens to win the cup. Maybe they’re lulling them into a false sense of security.

Bastards.

Ducks out shot the Sens 14-6 that period. Ottawa deserved to lose.