Ladies and gentlemen
Welcome to the disclaimer
That's right, the disclaimer

This American apple pie institution
Known as parental discretion
Will cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm
From the lyrics content that might actually make you think
And will also insult your intelligence at the same time

So protect your family.
This album website contains explicit depictions
Of things which are real.
These real things are commonly known as life.
So, if it sounds sarcastic, don't take it seriously.
If it sounds dangerous,
Do not try this at home or at all.
And if it offends you, just don't listen to read it.
The Offspring - Disclaimer

And now for the real disclaimer:
Once we were young and reckless. All of us were. A lot of our stories reflect that. The things we did back then, we would never condone now. Some of the things that you read about us have paid a heavy toll on our lives. Relationships smashed, dead friends, time in jail and other bad things. We want to make sure that everyone knows that everything on this site is from a past and your life depends on yourself and what you do with. Some of these stories are funny, some not, but in the end, we don't want to give you the feeling that what we did was in any way safe.

These stories happened a long time ago. Sure, they are funny, but you have to remember, all of these things we did came with a heavy price most of the time. To our younger readers, remember one thing. We can't tell you how to live, only how we lived. And if you think what we did was so cool, trust us that the end result of that stuff was not cool. When you play, you have to pay. That's just what happens.

We tell these stories now because they are funny to look back on and laugh at, but in no way would we ever condone anyone to doing anything like this. It's just what we did.

In other words, don't try this at home.

The staff at FTTW