August 10, 2006

skip the intro and start the song

Because this has already be a long day for some of us, we have decided to do something fun. We know hitting you with long stories in the morning has been pretty much the norm lately, we dont want to overwhelm anyone to much. Read as we really don't care about you but just want to have fun. So we are still looking for a few more writers for our vacation. I think we have six lined up but we still need a few more to keep up the pace of FTTW. Just gmail us at fttw10 and gmail dot com. We aren't being too picky, we just want writers who have a story to tell. No format. Just have fun.

This morning's post is something that will hurt your head. It did mine, but it's only six here so I can get away with that excuse. I think. This was inspired by a post michele saw at Waved Rumor.

This is about great opening verses. The first few lines off a song that drew you in and held you in. Something simple. The first ones that made you think this is a great song because it spoke to you. Or maybe you just thought they were cool words. We limited ourselves to a few lines and there was no limits on what the music would be like. It could be anything. I have no idea what Michele is doing, but I snagged some of the top of my head.

We want you guys in this one to come in and make us smack our heads and think, "Oh crap. We forgot that one?"

So here are ours.

Have fun with this and don't get too much of a headache thinking about it.

Michele's

Continue reading "skip the intro and start the song" »

August 9, 2006

Love punk rock style

Another reader suggestion day! As we have always said, if you have any ideas, send them to us. We will probably do them. penguins.jpgIf you want to see your name up in lights as some others have been, type something about it and you might become a FTTW writer. Lucky you. That was sarcasm. No really, impress us. I know we started out asking for a few lines about your ideas, but someone took it all the way and now he is a permanent writer here. So you never know what you are going to get when you submit something to us.

But really, this was a great idea and it couldn't come at a better time. I know that both of us will do one song and the rest will be, um, idunno what she is doing. But there will be one song I know we will both hit. I apologize for our format change today, but I have to do something today that will take up a lot of time so you won't see me again till the end of the night. Hopefully, Michele can pick up the slack, but if not? Meh. It happens.

Today's suggestion comes form Dan. A regular poster on FTTW. Thank you very much for your idea. We appreciate the hell out of the fact that you guys care enough to keep sending in ideas. So thank you for reading this site and sending us ideas.

So what was Dans suggestion?

Best Punk Rock Love Songs

Continue reading "Love punk rock style" »

July 25, 2006

aren't you glad we didn't use the japanese alphabet?

I talked to Michele today. We needed an idea. We have tons of ideas, but we wanted something light and easy. She said one and I agreed.

26 letters in the alphabet.

OK.

Name 26 song titles that have had an impact on you. Emotionially, physically, sexually or mentally. Or, cause they just rocked.

OK. That's easy.

But, they have to all be different bands.

Oh hell. And I think Chef Ramsay is on tonight. The truth is I got halfway done when she suggested that so some of mine might sound a little weird. Well, two of mine. You will see when you get there.

So we spent an hour doing this and really, this was a hard hour. The 26 thing is cool, but by different bands is hard. See what you can come up with. And feel free to ask for help cause I had to ask for "U" and I pulled Fred Schnider out of my ass.

Wanna play?

Here we go!

Continue reading "aren't you glad we didn't use the japanese alphabet?" »

July 22, 2006

this is a post about some albums we really dig
(like you really care about how we got here)

Andrew over at Bloggedy Blog has decided he wants to do the 100 albums that changed his life. Good luck with that. It almost killed us here to do it. I have no idea what his format will be but he has asked some of us to throw in ours. Once again, I have no idea what he is going to do. He asked so we sent. So most likely, from what I have seen, I looks like that they are his top 100. So other then sending him a list, which we did, we decided to do our top ten. Agree with us or not. These are albums that we drank to, skated to, broke things to and genrally had fun to. Life defining moments? Maybe not. Don't get all crazy on us. But these were albums we listened to when when we neede a boost. Something that mad made Michele and turtle who they are today. I'm not suggesting you go all out and give us ten, but we would be interested in hearing a few of yours. Ones the changed your life, or had some kind of impact on you personally.

MDC - s/tmdc2.jpg

Like you guys didn't know I was going to do this first. Every song on here was a little piece of me. Breakneck speed. Blistering lyrics. No hiding behind bullshit political correctness. They didn't like you cause you did this. You piss them off cause you do that. They told you what they hated. Texas style. When they got to San Francisco, they took the town over. Gilman was theirs and they knew it. This was their town now. They played at small gigs, big gigs, fuck, they even played at house parties if you got them drunk. This album was a blueprint for punks. So you're out to kick some ass? You're a brainless goon and got no class! Perfect music for a little turtle to swim too.

MDC - Violent rednecks

Black Flag - Damaged blfagd.jpg

Crap. How times have I wrote about this album? Great from start to finish. This was something that almost made your cock hard with all the blood racing thru your body. Even the cover was something to behold. Something that hit me hard. Maybe it was teen anger. Maybe frustration with life. Maybe puberty. Fuck, who knows. But it hit me in the face. Fuck "TV Party" . That was fun for about ummmmm....about three minutes.

Black Flag Depression

SNFU - and no one else wanted to play...snfu.jpg

You all know this cover freaked you out. Kinda scary. A kid with a hand grenade standing in the park. Not many people remember that cause they were sued for using it, but when it was out, it was something to behold. This was when the turtle learned what a halfpipe was. Learned what a ditch was. This was punk. This was the background music while cops yelled at us for skating some abandoned canal. The hell they find us? This was always the music that after I lit a smoke and watched them write me a ticket would still be playing. Cops. Loser at life, loser at death. Let's find another ditch.

SNFU She's Not on the Menu

Continue reading "this is a post about some albums we really dig
(like you really care about how we got here)" »

July 18, 2006

8 simple questions to hurt your brain

Inspired by a post over at Pril's site, and because I was having so much fun with it, we decided to steal it. Sorry Pril, but this was too much fun. The original is going on at her site but we were bored as fuck today and it is hot. Divorce Court and Cops can only take you so far before your mind starts wandering. So this is what Pril did. She gave a list of questions. Simple questions but the trick is that you have to answer all of them with one artists songs. Just one band. Their song titles. We at FTTW always push ourselves so of course we had to do three bands, but you guys can just do one. Or none. Fuck if I care. I had fun doing this. Hopefully you will too.

So answer the questions with the song titles of one band. If you still don't understand, read ours for examples.

Michele is up first.

Ready?

Here we go!

Artist: Butt Trumpetcfuck.jpg

Are you male or female?: Pink Gun

Describe yourself: I’m Ugly and I Don’t Know Why

How do some people feel about you?: Classic Asshole

How do you feel about yourself?: Clusterfuck

Describe what you want to be.: Decapitated

Describe your current mood: I’ve Been So Mad Lately

Describe your friends.: Ode to Dickhead

Share a few words of wisdom.: Shutup - M

you guys getting this?

Next up?

Continue reading "8 simple questions to hurt your brain" »

the best punk rock record as voted by you

It is over.

Before we start this, we really want to thank everyone for taking the time to join us in this process. We want to say a big thank you to all the sites who put this out, blogs who linked us, and people who kept coming in and nominating and voting. Without your participation, this would have been two people bitching about some obscure album telling each other which one is better. Sure, none of my choices even came close and for that matter, neither did Michele's, but that's besides the point.

You took the time to come here and vote. And for that, we thank you.

I know what you are thinking. "Shut up turtle. Tell us who won."

Continue reading "the best punk rock record as voted by you" »

July 17, 2006

metal up your ass!

One of our friends was inspired by our list to do his own list. Reader nominated like ours was. So after you vote for the best punk rock album, head over to Cullen's site and put in some nominations for the BEST METAL SONG. Sure, it's a little different than punk, but hey, different strokes for different folks. In his poll you will be seeing Michele taking a waaayyyy bigger step up then me. Hell, I know like three metal songs, but he helped us out in our poll so we gotta back a brother up. Good luck Cullen.

Go over there and nominate.

This is not our vote or nominations. It is his. So don't bother putting up any here cause, well frankly, i'll just copy them over to him.

The Final Poll! Best Punk Rock Album!

This is it. Finally. This monster of a poll has reached its end. We asked, you delivered and now we have at least one album from each decade. Today is the day they face off against each other. Steel cage match. Five enter. One leaves. With this poll, its like there are three semi-famous wrestlers and big name wrestlers in the ring and you start out watching this match knowing full well that in the end, it's gonna be Hulk Hogan and King Kong Bundy battling it out.

Oh, you know what I mean.

So here we have it. Five albums. Which one is, according to the readers of FTTW, the best punk album ever? Get your mouse warmed up and your clicking finger ready. Pick your winner and come out fighting for it. Because I have a feeling this is gonna be good fight.

Poll will stay open through midnight or so tonight (EST), winner announced tomorrow morning. Speaking of polls, Cullen has started his Metal Poll Week. We'll be putting up our nominations later.

Have at it! And remember, these five albums are here because that's what you chose. The time to complain about the choices is long gone. This is what you've got, so pick and album and get behind it.


THIS POLL HAS ENDED. THANKS FOR PLAYING.

July 15, 2006

Best Punk Album of the 00's: Winner

WE'RE ON A MISSION TO DESTROY!! Ride with us! I swear, we had nothing to do with this vote. Really, I gave this one up to Green Day along time ago. When Michele and I started talking about this I kinda decided "American Idiot" would take it. Who am I to say? It was nominated but placed fourth. Don't ask me. See, this is why I don't play the lotto. I am never right.

But these are the final winners of the vote. As cast by you. Not us. Some of you have been mean clickers going at it and some of you have formed treaties to see one band beat another, but the wheel keeps rolling. We just work here and eat chili dogs. Sometimes we watch Little House. Cause we are punk like that.

The voting will start on Monday for the best punk album of all time. Please don't bother to nominate anything when we get there. If you are new here, first welcome. Second, this has been a process, long process, of taking your nominations for the best punk albums of each decade. The next post on the topic was the voting stage. When the voting was over, the record was put away and we moved on to the next decade. The goal of this was to get all of the your input and pit them all against each other to make a FTTW reader defined "Best Punk Album Ever." Kinda like Amercian Idol, cept we don't get to fuck Paula Abdule. Or even spell her name right.

To keep you guys updated, these are the previous winners. AKA the ones who you will be voting for on Monday. Get ready for Monday. And remember if you don't like these, don't kill the messenger.

Continue reading "Best Punk Album of the 00's: Winner" »

July 14, 2006

The Decade of "Meh":
Voting for Best Punk Album of the 00's

Well, we knew - because we know you guys pretty well - that we wouldn't get a whole lot of nominations for this era. Still, we did it because we had to. We took everything you gave us and put it in the poll and we kinda have a feeling what's gonna win here, but it's really out of our hands now and in yours. Keep clicking for your favorite, you never know what might happen.

Remember, whoever wins this thing goes into the final poll against The Ramones, Black Flag, 7 Seconds and The Dwarves for Best Punk Rock Album Ever (as chosen by readers of FTTW). That will be a fun little contest. For now, let's get the voting on this one out of the way. I think this poll is only going to stay up through the night, so if you're gonna vote, get clicking.

THIS POLL IS NOW CLOSED. LOOK FOR THE WINNER TO BE ANNOUNCED IN JUST A LITTLE BIT. THANKS FOR VOTING!

July 13, 2006

a random list full of metal

Because I'm bored and turtle isn't around and I like to be random:

Michele’s Top Ten Metal Albums, no particular order, subject to change without notice

1. Meshuggah - Chaosphere
2. Slayer - Seasons in the Abyss
3. Anthrax - Among the Living
4. Down - NOLA
5. Fear Factory - Demanufacture
6. Strapping Young Lad - City
7. Pantera - Vulgar Display of Power
8. Clutch s/t
9. Sepultura - Roots
10. Motley Crue - Too Fast For Love

I didn't say what kind of metal. Don't make me go all classic rock on you. Or Norwegian Viking metal. Cause I will. Or I'll just scrap this and break out the Favorite Songs by Wu Tang Artists list.

And now I just wait for Cullen to come in and ask where the Dream Theater is. (Cullen has his own metal list, look on his sidebar for the links)

Stay tuned. Tonight on FTTW, we present sex and snack cakes. Together at last.

Best Punk Albums of the 00's: Nomination Time!

Well here we go. We've reached the end of the line. It's time to nominate the best punk rock album of the 2000's. Yea, we know that this decade is only half over, but for the sake of being all inclusive, we didn't want to leave it out. That's just how we roll.

So check it out. So far, we have four albums entering the steel cage. Turtle and I were talking last night and we realized that those four albums make a pretty good punk rock starter collection. You have the Ramones, who were the originators, really, and the leaders of the New York scene. Black Flag, as an introduction to the harder side of punk rock and the whole LA scene. 7 Seconds for your hardcore/straight edge needs. 5.jpgAnd the Dwarves? Well, they're the Dwarves. They break stuff. In your face, offensive, fast and punk as fuck.

So who will be next? Listen, I'm not gonna lie. The 2000's, as far as punk goes, doesn't do much for me. But what do I know? I think the best album released in the 2000s so far is by QOTSA, so I'm all messed up on this one because that's not punk by any stretch of the imagination or the rules. And I know there's gonna be stuff nominated that will make me cringe but hey, I'm sure that Dwarves record made some of you cringe and it's one of my favorites. So that's how it goes.

Honestly, I'm just hoping that no one here would have the nerve to nominate something like Good Charlotte or Simple Plan. You're going to be putting yourself out there for getting bagged on if you do. Not by us, but I know at least one or two people who will rip you up in the comments. And we're just gonna stand back on that. And tell you that Simple Plan is just not punk rock.

So who did put out albums in the 2000s? Well, you can do the research, but we'll get you started. I haven't really come up with anything I want to review yet, and I think Turtle's only choice for this decade is The Explosion. But for the rest of you, things you might want to consider: Bad Religion, Social Distortion, NOFX, Guttermouth, Offspring, MTX, Rancid, Bouncing Souls, Anti-Flag, Dropkick Murphys, AFI, US Bombs, Descendents, New Bomb Turks, Sleater-Kinney, Pennywise and....G..g..gr..gree.....n.....gah, I just can't bring myself to write it.

Ok kids. Get nominating. Make us proud. Come up with some good stuff here.

But first, we get our two in that will get shot down as usual. This is a thankless job.


The Explosion - Flash Flash Flash - T

By this part of the game, I know damn well none of my albums are even coming close to winning so I'm just giving up. I hope by the end of this some of you have heard some great new, or old music, and it made you smile. But if not, meh, it happens. This is the end. I had a tough time with this one. Sleater Kinney put out The Woods, but that was a dark album that only really hardcore fans would like. And in my opinion, not the record of the half decade. Boston seemed to be moving the most back then. Go figure. A band from there grabbed my attention at a show. Bunch of off kids pissed about us older punks fucking up.

The Explosion. OK. This moves. Grooves and beats like old style hardcore. Our rock will fuck you. You gotta love that motto. This was punk rock. This whole album is about asking us what happened. Why are we selling out? Good question. Fuck if I know. I quit your race along time ago. When bands like (insert your most hated fake punk rock industry band name here) came out. Why do little kids and teenage girls have punk rock belts on? Why do they wear punk rock shirts from the 70's? Well, I guess that's ok. But, then from the 80's? 14 year old girl wearing a Black Flag shirt? The album just talked to me and asked the simple question. Why is there a store called Hot Topic?

Well, it didn't say that entirely, but the point was we are lost and if we want this to fall, we can let it fall. If we want to pick it up, we can pick it up. This was entirely our call. Look around you. Take a good look. Remember everything it took to get us here. To get us this far. And now you are watching it being destroyed. Right in front of your eyes. There's no revolution anymore. And that's your fault. Kinda grabs you by the poo poo and makes you think. No revolution anymore. We were sold out and were too drunk to care. They just wanted to let us know we suck. And so does Hot Topic.


The Explosion No Revolution


Cro-Mags - Age of Quarrel - M

Ok, some sites say this came out in 2000, some say in 1999. Let it be known the official Cro-Mag's site says 2000 so don't argue with me on this one. Or quarrel, as the case may be. Basically, this album is a reworking of Age of Quarrel, but I don't care because I'm really hard up to find something to review for this decade and this is gonna be it.

This is hardcore punk with a good dose of metal. It's powerful, angry and brutal, like a kick a in the face. But a kick in the face you kind of enjoy. Does that make sense? Who likes getting kicked in the face? Well, you know what I mean. This album is one big snarl. And even though the songs are a mixed up jumble of religion and violence, it works here. It's not even a kick in the face. Before the Quarrel is a head butt. You know when you see a bunch of guys in a pit and they're going at it and suddenly one will just up and head butt another guy, not out of anger or anything, but just out of raw emotion and needing something to do with all the power he's feeling at the moment? And the other guy, even though the head butt hurts like hell is like, fuck yea! Ok, that's this album.


So that's it. This is the last nomination of the decades. The others are done. Remember though that you are facing some stiff competition so what you might think is the greatest album now, might just become a dog chewie next year. Punch them up and let's get this thing going. Cause we want to see what happens in the end.

July 12, 2006

Best Punk Rock Album of the 90's - Winner!

I'm gonna fuck you up and get high!!! It's over. You have voted and you have made a decision. The nominations were yours, the votes cast by you. When this is said and done, we are going to have the five best punk records of all time. Each by decade. Except for the 80's which we had to split. But by now you guys know how this works. We open up nominations and you plug away. We close nomations and open up the polls. Leave it up for a few days to keep moving on to the next decade. The 2000's nominations will start tomorrow morning. Now four time periods have been covered. These are the first four. But forget them for now cause we still have alot to get thru.

Welcome to January 1, 2000.

don't nominate anything here. These are just the results.

The 70's - Ramones - s/t


80-84 - Black Flag - Damaged

7secondswtrt.jpg85-89 - 7 Seconds -Walk Together Rock Together

So who won the 90's? The battle was fast and furious, but only one will go to the end battle. So who was it this time? Who did you guys like the best out of that time frame? Who moves on?

The Dwarves - Blood, Guts, and Pussy

262494L.jpgWhoa! Here we go! This is punk rock fuck you adrenaline kick ass shove you down I stopped giving a fuck along time ago rock. I don't think this album even tracks at 15 minutes. Jesus christ. Fuck you up and get high? Fuck you in the back seat of my car? Junkie broads hanging around you too much? A nationwide tour with a song about how you fucked every groupie on the road? Whoa! Here we go! This is a lesson in what not giving a fuck any more was all about. Blag and Hewhocannotbenamed would only get bigger with more collaborations, but at this time, the original label knew, they must have known, that they were getting a little more then they wanted. A totally naked guitarist with a Mexican Wrestling mask. A singer who had a habit of of assualting the crowd. A set that stayed up as long as someone in the band wouldn't smash the set. Bored or detoxing. Just wrecking things. Maybe ten minutes. If we were lucky 15 minutes. Total choas. This band wasn't booked in most towns because they were told they weren't worth the damage they brought in. This was a band that wouldn't take final on a set. They wanted second bill. Promoters would put them as second. You can't have a build up to the end and kill it in 10 minutes. You can't have a band that would start in total fury and end so fast. Like an orgasm. Over fast and quick and would leave you wondering why you are covered in sweat and what the hell happened to your beer. That was the Dwarves. This was the album.

July 11, 2006

Best Punk Rock Album - 90's - Voting Time!

We almost have this done. We explained to you how this is running. The nominations are done. Welcome to the end game. Keep focused on who you think will take out the others.

Lots of obscure stuff on this poll, but we told you we would take almost anything you threw at us, so here it is. This is yours. Yea, we made a couple of nominations but the rest is all you.

Voting will go about 24 hours and whoever wins this thing will join the Ramones, Black Flag and 7 Seconds on the Best of Punk poll. Only the 2000s remain after this one and I think it will be a couple of days before you see that one. We're kinda polled-out here at the moment.

This is gonna be interesting. In all the other decades, it was pretty clear who was going to be in the running. Not so much here. This could be wide open. We'll see. Get your finger ready to do some clicking because it's up to you to make sure your choice gets the votes it deserves.

UDPDATE
Ok kids, voting is over. We said 24 hours and we meant it. We will have the results up pretty soon, so check back here in a bit. And thanks for voting!

July 10, 2006

Best Punk Albums of the 90's: Nomination Time!

Update: The nominations are now closed. Tonight we will compile the list. Thank you for all participating in this and get ready to vote cause it will be out here fast. Well, maybe not that fast, but, the nominations are closed and we are moving on the vote soon. Thank you for adding your additions and lets find out who you think was the best punk album of the 90's.

Well, here we go. It's the best of the 90's, punk rock style. We finished off the 70's and the 80's and we are ready to put an album from the 90's into the final battle. One more decade to go after this!

Now, before you think "90's? You mean Blink 182 and Green Day? Meh...," dig a little deeper into your album collection. Work that memory. You think punk branched out in the 80's? It went kinda crazy in this decade. There was death punk, punk revival, alternative punk, garage punk....by this time punk rock had gone way beyond four chords and a snarl. Bands like New Bomb Turks, Turbonegro, NoMeansNo, Hellacopters, Supersuckers were putting out great stuff....yes they are all considered a form a punk.

This was the 90's. Places like Portland, Seattle, mid-western towns,Texas, Georgia, Tennessee, Nevada, Florida for god's sake, Mexico and Canada were all coming in. Punk wasn't Anarchy in the UK anymore. This was when everyone got tired of everything and decided there must be something to do. I'm so bored. Let's fuck this shit up. Songs about empty pools were a thing of the past. We had moved on. Now it was about empty govenments, lies, decite, empty gas tanks, drinking to much, how my dad sucks, doing so much methampetamine you can't breath, why Texas sucks, and about, gah, love. Who would of thought?

Plus you had all these bands putting albums out in the 90's: the Vandals, NOFX, Descendents,Offspring, Down by Law, Pennywise, Lagwagon, Social Distortion, Poison Idea, AFI, Rancid, Refused.. and the Dwarves! And Fugazi! See where we're going with this? So untwist those panties and stop thinking about how much you've grown to hate Green Day. The 90's weren't as bad as you think.

So it's up to you. Have at it. Start your nominations. 041301.gif
Remember, this more about having fun than being right.

This is not the voting stage. This is the stage you toss anything at us, well except things that are way outside the boundaries of punk, please don't do that. And then we put up another post later where you vote! You all remember how this works.

There were some questions in the comments of the earlier post today if some bands were punk or not. Fuck, we don't know. I certainly considered one or two of them punk. One not. But a question was asked if they are. The real answer? We don't know. By this time in our lives, we listened to anything. Turtle was on the road and only listened to what seemed to be like garage punk and hardcore, Michele was listening to speed metal and thrash punk and hmmm...Stabbing Westward. Don't ask.

So basically the rules are, well, really none. If you think an album was punk, go ahead and nominate it. Fuck, who are we to say. So you will notice that we will put our nominations up first in the post cause I, turtle, forgot about a lot of this great music. All of the nominations in the lower post will be used, but really, we aren't perfect.

If you put nominations in the other comments, post them all again here so we won't miss them. Above all have fun. And after that, we can have some real fun and vote on these. This is when the voting is going to get sticky cause we are gonna have a whole new generation with all new music coming in. But really. Remember, Green Day kinda sucked and so did Blink 182. If you think they inspired anyone, just think of Good Charolette. Gah! But, that's just our opinion.

Wanna play?

Here we go!

This is the nomination for best punk album of the 90's. This is your list.

But as usual. We get to go first.

turtle's pick

New Bomb Turks - Destroy? Oh Boy!

Hands down the greatest record ever put out. This is the number one album on my list for all time. This is it folks. This is the one. It's has a close runner up called Turbonegro, but even that doesn't beat this one. This was a record I heard while drinking beer at a record station one night. No, I didn't work there. Me and the DJ got drunk and went in. We were bored and had a punk rock playlist from the station which we promptly tossed into the trash. He didn't work there much longer after that. Open the mail. NEW CDS! That whats cool about that kinda gig. Free stuff in the mail everyday. But really there was nothing good this week. So we went about doing a fake interview with him asking me questions, and me being the bass player of L7. I dropped my voice as low as it could go and talked about feminine hygiene products for about a half hour before the door was opened and some guy told us to knock it off. Meh. We got some cool phone calls though. Anyways, the record. He put it on later in the night. Turned around and told me that we are listening to this whole thing. From the opening kick...."I had a friend he said he was an artist knew more then the average schmuck". What was this? Welcome to Crypt records! Garage rock. Gritty. Out of control. EVERY SONG ON HERE KICKS ASS. Weird titles. Songs about dragstrip riots, hating your girl friend. Bluesy, fast, loud, out of control, one mic for the whole riser. This was a style. This was garage punk. Sure they could have cleaned it up, but the sound needed to be this way. When you hear the bass rattle the hi-hat cause the bass players amp is right next to the drums, you know this is garage. We spent hours getting that sound out of recordings when we were in the studio. They didn't give a fuck about it. They just left the sound in. Welcome to garage punk. Welcome to more branching off of punk. Hands down the best album ever. This was power. That was raw.

Micheles Pick

Turbonegro - Apocalypse Dudes (1998)

Yea, I've already reviewed this album before. So I'll just keep this short. This album will blow you away. It's punk, it's rock, it's who knows what the hell else. Glam rock. Power rock. Trash punk. Kind of undefinable. I mean, they sing about pizza. PIZZA! And the rest of the album is kind of a homoerotic tribute to anal sex. I think. Maybe not. Maybe that's just me. Rock Against Ass? Rendezvous With Anus? Maybe I'm onto something. This album is all kinds of vulgar and trashy and totally over the top. But it's got grooves. It's got hooks. It makes you want to throw a party where stuff will be broken and people will end up in a coma. Listen, if you can listen to this and sing about the Prince of the Rodeo and throw out lines like "sperminator of the asshole" without feeling the least bit self aware or umm..gay, then you get it. Turbo makes you do that. Sing about asses and sexy denim and buns of steel and make you still feel like you are totally punk rock. That's an accomplishment.

So these are our picks for the best of the 90's. What are yours? Nomination starts now.

Update: The nominations are now closed. Tonight we will compile the list. Thank you for all participating in this and get ready to vote cause it will be out here fast. Well, maybe not that fast, but, the nominations are closed and we are moving on the vote soon. Thank you for adding your additions and lets find out who you think was the best punk album of the 90's.

July 9, 2006

Best Punk Rock Album 85-89 Winner

Listen to my Story!! It's over. You have voted and you have made a decision. The nominations were yours, the votes cast by you. When this is said and done, we are going to have the five best punk records of all time. Each by decade. Except for the 80's which we had to split. But by now you guys know how this works. We open up nominations and you plug away. We close nomations and open up the polls. Leave it up for a few days to keep moving on to the next decade. The 90's nominations will start tomorrow morning. Now three time periods have been covered. These are the first two. But forget them for now cause we still have alot to get thru.

The 70's - Ramones - s/t


80-84 - Black Flag - Damaged


So who won the second half of the 80's? The battle was fast and furious, but much like World Cup, only one will go to the end battle. So who was it this time? Who did you guys like the best out of that time frame? Who moves on?

7 Seconds -Walk Together Rock Together
7secondswtrt.jpg

Let's get something out of the way quick. For any of you who bitched about Minor Threat not getting this, you can take some small condolences that he produced it. You can hear him in the back..I think. But anyways, a band that lived on positive energy that wouldn't stop their message about how we are all one. All this crap has to stop or we are never coming back. Take it as anything you want, but I always took it as them asking us some simple questions. Why do these bullshit fights happen? Once again, I'm using "bullshit fights" in a very general term. I have no idea what the hell they were thinking when they wrote this and the last I heard Kevin was opening a new True Love Coffee and hosting a punk rock radio show on Friday nights. You can ask him. But most of these songs were really about unity and compassion and that 99 red ballons song that they fucking played at every god damn show for years as the encore. God, I got sick of that song. But, other than that, it's a kickass album with a kickass message. If I got the message right. I might not have. I did alot of drugs back then, ok? - T

7 Seconds - Spread
7 Seconds - Walk Together, Rock Together
7 Seconds Remains to be Seen
7 Seconds Regress No Way

The 90's nominations will open tomorrow morning. Stop in and tell us who you think should be up.

Final results here

July 8, 2006

Best Punk Albums (85-89): Voting Time! The Branching Off Era

This was a weird time in music. Hardcore was moving everywhere and anywhere. People felt the "No More! No More!" attitude that was dripping thru the hands of the older generation. They wanted it too. If they can say life is fucked, why can't we? The race was on and the styles were mixed. Fishbone was going out of control, Operation Ivy was going out of control. Bands that you wouldn't typically consider punk were coming out. As I said, this time everything was taking over. We said we would take all nominations. We did. Cause that was punk.Punk is an attitude not defined by one style of music. We don't care where you come from or what you did. You want to be with us, we will take you. End of the story.

This is the vote from 85-89

Vote early and vote often. The results form the previous votes can be read below as well as what the hell we are doing here.

UPDATE: THIS POLL IS NOW CLOSED

Results will be posted later tonight (7/9)

July 7, 2006

Best Punk Albums of the 80's (85-89) - Nomination Time!

Update The nominations are now closed. The vote is on. That post. Up there. No not that one, that one is about food. That one way up at the top. Not in this post. That one up there.

Well, we have another winner. We have two contenders for the punk rock record already. The 70's are done. 80-85 ended last night. Today is 85-89. We realized we made a little mistake last night after all of this was said and done. We will not put up our own list because we felt that let you guys look at our and use that instead of nominating your own. So one this one we will just be doing our four and let you guys fill the rest of the blanks in.

The two first winners are below.

But forget them for now. Just remember that you will see them again at the end.

If any of you don't know what we have been doing here, and I use "we" in the sense of all of you have been reading this site and contributing, is taking the reading contributions for nominations of the best punk album of the decade. 70's thru the 2000's. We had to split up the 80's into two categories because we just got bombed on names. We might have to do that in the 90's also, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. In the end we will have five albums. Six at the most, depending ont the 90's thing. Then we will take those albums and let guys go at it. Rank the albums. Top five, or maybe six, albums of all time. This is what album was the best to you. And in the end, we really don't wanna hear anything about. We didn't make the choices. You did.

Don't you wish Rolling Stone worked this way?

Anyways, welcome to the late 80's. A time of confusion, anger, branches of punk rock bleeding into everything. Were they punk? Were they hardcore? Is ska punk? Well some of thier songs are hardcore, some punk and some ska.......so I don't fucking know. These were the years bands like GWAR, SNFU, and Operation Ivy came out. Gilman was blowing up and you had to drive 8 hours to get to any show in LA. Hardcore was forming in New York when a small band called Gorilla Biscuits released an EP. Things were changing fast. This was a time to hold on and just listen.

Go ahead and nominate anything that you consider punk rock. And most of all, have fun. This is the nomination stage, not the voting stage. Ready? Here we go! Nominate!

As usual, we get our say first. So these are our favorites. As usual, they we will lose terribly, but meh, that's what happens. Have fun guys.

Remember this is 85-89.

Here we go!

NoMeansnNo- Wrong

wrong-r.jpgAnyone who plays a bass here knows this album. Put the guitarist in back and let’s see how fast we can go. No, not that kind of fast. See how fast you can move your fingers. Figure out how many riffs you could jam into one song while still telling us of your hatred of your life, your friends, and that last sandwich you just ate. I never really got why they just were so dark. They moved fast, maybe cause they could. If you have ever been in a situation where you have two brothers growing up in a house with nothing else but two instruments to play to relieve their boredom, you might get why this is so technical. I'm not saying I did it, but I've seen two brothers together challenging each other to go farther in a back room. To keep pushing. I won't say this is their pinnacle, but I have my own reasons for that. Sure, they are Canadian, but I can forgive them on that.

NoMeansNo Oh No, Bruno! -T

SNFU - Better Then A Stick In The Eye

f98149h2qe1.jpgJeez. Canadian again. Seems like the rest of the world was starting to feel the blood of hardcore. It's sticky. It moves fast. Hold on and grab a napkin cause this is when it goes out. Stand or fall. SNFU was always a playful band and this was the end. The pinnacle of everything they did. Hardcore touring. Covered in sweat and toys by the end of the night. Songs not making sense. A big Chinese guy with a huge mohawk telling me how his back hurts when he has sex. Fuck the sofa. He needs a futon. A pure album that, really guys, asks you about everything you thought about before. That mall eats people. Why go in? These Holloywood stars all o.d. Why worship them? Mailmen are always gonna step on your dog’s shit. Why not pick it up? I'm depressed. Why don't I do something about it? Don't ask me about the G.I Joe sex song cause I really have no idea about that one. Just wait till the 90's when Mexico comes in.

SNFU Happy Switch -T

Dead Milkmen - Big Lizard in My Backyard

c474280fqb2.jpgI promised someone I’d do this album, so here goes.
Like most people, the first song I heard off this album was Bitchin’ Camaro. I dug that song so much I figured I’d give the rest of the album a try and see if these guys were anything more than a novelty act. Still not sure about that one, but hey, I discovered there’s really nothing wrong with novelty acts. Not if they make you laugh and nod your head to the music at the same time. When you sing about taking retards to the zoo without being too self aware about it, that’s pretty cool. And the lyrics here aren’t all irreverent and haphazard, like in Camaro or Swordfish. They get some pretty good lines off and manage to make some sense in tunes like Spit Sink and V.F.W. A pretty well rounded album for a “novelty act.”

Dead Milkmen Takin' Retards to the Zoo -M

Husker Du - New Day Rising

f34114ma6lq.jpgMost Husker Du fans will point to Zen Arcade or Flip Your Wig as their favorite. In my eyes, New Day Rising was their absolute pinnacle. This album is pure brilliance from beginning to end. The songwriting, the music, the way its all put together in such a tight, perfectly crafted package is beyond anything else they ever did. While the music may seem to be more melodic, more pop-influenced in comparison to Zen Arcade before it, what they give you here is about 40 minutes of catharsis. It’s a whole bunch of emotions and memories and fury and power packed into one perfect package. If you listen to this album right and feel what you are supposed to feel, the first three songs alone should wear you out emotionally and physically. And that’s before you even get to Celebrated Summer of 59 Times the Pain. If I had to make a personal top ten albums of all time list, New Day Rising would be right there.

Husker Du New Day Rising -M

Ok, start nominating. And I just want to remind you to check your years. Anything not 85-89 will be thrown out.

Update The nominations are now closed. The vote is on. That post. Up there. No not that one, that one is about food. That one way up at the top. Now go vote! In that post. Not this one.

Best Punk Album 80's (80-84) Winner

Yes, I am posting this at 3am. Why am I up? Long story. Involves a turtle and some house keys and a brain that loves worst-case scenarios. But here I am. Might as well get this done now.

The winner of the poll for first half of the 80's is:

Black Flag, Damaged.

Turtle and I reviewed this album a while back and as tribute to this worthy winner, here is that review again.

All these frat boys I knew bought this album on the basis of TV Party Tonight and, to a lesser extent, Six Pack. “Party band! Party music!” That god damn song. It was like I had to constantly grab them by the shoulders and shake them and say “Did you not listen to the rest of the album??” But it was like talking to a tree stump. A drunk, horny tree stump who only cared about partying.


The only way I listened to this album was by myself, in my room, those gigantic early 80's era headphones on, lights out, joint smoked. I wanted no one else around as I contemplated life as an aimless 19 year old. This album made me itchy. Restless. Angsty. And then it would take a wide turn on my emotions and make me feel apathetic, despondent, hopeless. I might as well just stay here in bed and get stoned and sleep and not care about anything to jesus christ, I gotta get out of this room, out of this house and do something, anything, like go light myself on fire in front of the White House or maybe just go kick a cat or something, but I gotta move. And then I’d close my eyes and sink back into the music again. And it went on like that. I’d get all the way up to No More and wait for the build up of the drum, that slow steady beat that got faster and faster and I’d think that whole 40 seconds or so from the first beat right up until Rollins kicks in is a microcosm of the album, of my life up until that point and I’d suddenly be yelling I need action, won't take no more, no more, no more, no more and I’d be ready to get up and buy some kerosene or find a stray cat but then Padded Cell and Life of Pain would come and I’d pull the covers over my head and think, fuck, man. Maybe listening to TV Party Tonight in a room full of drunk frat boys isn’t such a bad thing after all.

And then I’d move the needle back to Rise Above and put that thought out of my head real quick.

-M

"I wanna get fucked!" What the fuck did he just say? In the back. Did you hear that? Put that on again. What? I wanna get get fucked?

Remember I was a kid back then. Listening to this on wax on an old stereo. But did he say that? You have to remember, this is when I was spray painting "Sex Pistons" on the streets. Wondering what the fuck a Sex Piston was anyways. But I still painted it. On the street. Its what we did. Dumb pre-punk who didn't have the balls to do anything rough and couldn't even spell Sex Pistols right cause I had only heard them a few times and really never liked them. But its what we did then. Meh. It happens.


Hey guys. We are all young and dumb at one point in our life. Gimmie a break, ok?

But Damaged, this was different. This was something that almost made your cock hard with all the blood racing thru your body. Even the cover was something to behold. Something that hit me hard. Maybe it was teen anger. Maybe frustration with life. Maybe puberty. Fuck, who knows. But it hit me in the face. Fuck "TV Party" . That was fun for about ummmmm....about three minutes.

But the rest of it. Kinda fucking brought me into California hardcore. Say what you want about Greg Ginn And Rollins. They might have ruined the band but they also brought the band up. It was their scene and the could break it if wanted. I won't deny this album had a huge impact on me. Just the kick on "Police Story" ran thru my head for years. Something about it. When shows, parties or clubs were shut down by the cops. Fuck this city! Run by pigs! That's an "I'm tired of this shit" song and they brought the words to life. You can say what you want about Black Flag but I'm probably not gonna listen if you bag them. Hell, my first tattoo when i was a kid was the bars, so you can kinda figure I like them and this album was my first exposure to them and hardcore. And it rocks.
-T

Rise Above
Depression
No More
Police Story

Tomorrow (today, really) we will get to the nominations for the second half of the 80s.

Thanks to everyone who nominated and/or voted. This was a good poll.

On the subject of Damaged, read this.


July 6, 2006

Best Punk Albums (80-84): Voting Time!

We have moved on. We have passed the 70's and now we are in the early 80's. Reagan is shot. Lennon is shot. The Pope is shot. A space shuttle blows up. Hardcore takes hold in surburbia. We dropped the London stuff and the New York stuff. We hit suburbia. We branched out and this took hold. Punk wasn't in the big cities anymore. Well, it was, but it wasn't focused anywhere. Punk was now from everywhere. Although it was still small, it was growing. Fast. It was back. This was when it broke into garage sets, backyard parties and basements. This is when it all changed. Forget the past cause nothing lasts. See some die. See shallow lies. No going back. No going home. Let's find what happens next. Ride with us.

Welcome to the poll of the Best Punk Album of the early 80's. We (well, you) are compiling a list of punk records from every decade. The 70's are done. This is 80-84. We will keep going on each decade. When this is over we will have five records. We will put these five in a poll. And you will decide who and which album was the best of all time. Why did we break the 80's up? Cause we have over 60 in just the first few years. So we had to. This is when punk rock exploded. This is the time when everything came alive. So many different types, so little time. This was the era that took everything into all you see now. So, well, we kinda got bombed here with nominations. Have fun on the vote and remember, if your favorite record isn't here, it's your fault. We gave up a long time ago and sat back to eat chili dogs and smoke cheap cigars.

Have fun and vote as much as you like. The Ramones took the 70's. What will take the early 80's? You decide. Remember what we said the last time. When we quoted Spongebob or something. Fun. Something about fun. And something about not letting your album lose out just because someone had more passion for clicking a mouse in the name of their favorite band than you did. It's all about the click. And fun.







Best Punk Album - 80's (First Half)

Every Vote Counts!









Check it out. We'll be back later in the morning to open the nominations for the second half of the 80's. Meanwhile, rock the vote here.



NOTE: POLL IS NOW CLOSED

July 5, 2006

It's 80's Time!
Punk Rock Album Nominations for 80-84

Now that we got the 70's out of the way, let’s move on to the era that your hosts at FTTW have been looking forward to: The 80's. For me (and this is Michele speaking), even though I was around for the punk explosion of the late 70's, it wasn’t until the early to mid 80's that I really got into it.

Those who cut their teeth on the Ramones and The Clash tend to be insular about their ideas of punk; they have no idea (or they are willfully ignorant of the fact) that whole movements and sub genres of punk existed outside of the more well known bands. They also think that punk died right about 1982 or so. In my mind, punk rock didn’t even reach its pinnacle til the mid 80's. dive.jpg'Maybe their scene died and they believe that punk died with that scene, but it didn’t. It was picked up, dusted off and brought back to life by bands like Black Flag, Minor Threat, GBH, Adolescents, Angry Samoans, TSOL, Descendents, Agent Orange, Fang, Youth Brigade (I could go on here, but I won't)...they all contributed to keeping the punk scene alive and moving. And, in my opinion, gave it a lot more life than it had before they came along.

Yea, punk was about attitude as well as about the music; but there were as many different "attitudes" to go around as there were styles of punk. I just don't think punk music can be clearly defined as "that music the Clash played." Nor do I think (and yea, just my opinion) that the late 70's were the heyday of punk.

Anyway, after talking about this decade together and coming up with a list of our own favorite albums, we realized that trying to cram all of the 80's into one poll would be too big a task. Too many good bands, too many awesome albums. So what we are going to do here is split the decade in half. Today, we will take nominations for the first half of the 80's: 1980-1984.

Here’s a few of our favorite albums of the first half of the 80's to get you started. Remember, the nomination process is yours, not ours. This is just our personal list. Feel free to nominate any of these, because the final poll will be taken from the comments, not us.

Black Flag - Damaged 1981
Adolescents - s/t 1981
Fear - The Record 1982
Descendents - Milo Goes to College 1982
Misfits - Walk Among Us 1982
GBH - City Baby Attacked by Rats 1982
Circle Jerks - Group Sex 1980
7 Seconds - The Crew 1984
Dead Kennedys - Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables 1980
MDC - MDC 1982
Minor Threat - Out of Step 1983
X - LA 1980
Bad Brains - Rock for Light 1983
Subhumans - The Day the Country Died 1983
Suicidal Tendencies - s/t 1983
GBH - City Baby’s Revenge 1984
DRI - Dirty Rotten 1983
Minutemen - Double Nickels on the Dime 1984
Avengers - s/t 1983
Angry Samoans - Back From Samoa 1982
Youth Brigade - Sound and Fury 1983
SNFU - And No One Else Wanted to Play 1984
Fang - Landshark/Where the Wild Things Are 1982
Agent Orange - Living in Darkness 1981
Vandals - When In Rome Do As the Vandals 1984
Vandals - Peace Through Vandalism 1982
TSOL - Dance With Me 1981
JFA - s/t 1984
D.I. - Team Goon 1984
The Faction - No Hidden Messages 1983
Meatmen - We’re The Meatmen and You Suck 1983
Husker Du - Zen Arcade 1984

Remember to check the dates on the LP or EP. We are not perfect and we don't hold the answers like some kind of god. So check those issue years before you nominate (allmusic.com frequently gets years wrong; try using wikipedia if you aren’t sure of a release date). Also, length of album doesn’t matter. EP s are as good as full length albums.

Here's our take on a couple of these albums and why we like them. Don't forget, we also reviewed some 80's punk albums here, if you want to check that out.

MDC - s/t (1982)

This album is brutal. That’s the best way to describe it. High speed, blistering music with lyrics full of rage and anger. This shit makes Rage Against the Machine sound like pussies. Dave Dictor and company pull no punches. They say what they mean. They take on everything that angers them - police brutality, corporations, homophobia, rednecks, John Wayne, capitalism - and pound their ideas into your head and gut in such a straightforward way. Where other bands with this kind of stance rely on irony and subtle innuendos and clever wordplay to get their point across, MDC just puts their middle finger up right in your face and spits in your eye. Brutal. But awesome. -M

Misfits - Walk Among Us (1982)

This was a band made for someone like me. I love horror movies. I love punk rock. What could be better than a band that meshes both things together? That’s like the peanut butter and chocolate of music!

What you have here is 13 songs in 25 minutes. This album is like viewing every B-movie ever made while tweaking on speed. You hit play on this thing and before you can even catch your breath, you feel like you’ve seen your life flash before your eyes, if your life consists of death, mayhem, zombies, devils, vampires and Martians, and the soundtrack to that is howled by Glenn Danzig. Seriously, Danzig was born to sing this stuff. His voice here is part campiness, part howling at the moon and all deep-throated, gothic posturing. All that, plus the 50's-inspired riffs played in punk rock fashion make this one of the best punk albums EVER, let alone the 80's. -M

Vandals - When In Rome Do As The Vandals

Ok. It didn't have Pat Brown on it. It was longer. It was a little different. But hell man. Stevo had a scratch box on his chest when he played Ladykiller. And it had a beer holder! A record player on his chest miced up to a case and a beer holder! With a straw! Jeez. That's kinda cool. Most of the songs were about fun and breaking things. A few were a little evil. I'm still not sure why they chose to write a song about little boys in vikings suits or somewhere called Mohawk Town. Times like this, I always feel it is better to not say anything and just listen. It happens that way with me. But, they were fun songs! Except for the beating a girl song, but we will forget that one. But the others. Fighting a giant robot. Being a fly on a piece of shit called this world. Driving in a shitty Airstream from town to town. And the pinnacle. Rico. Coming back home after a tour. The feelings of seeing your home town. A great ending to a great album. -T

DI - Team Goon

Oh hell. Here we go. You all know you can sing all the words to this album. The executioner's curtain call. When I woke one day kids going out to play if they only knew. Oh you know know you are remembering Nuclear Funeral right now. The only stupid song on here was the cover of that "hey" song they do at baseball games. Even the slow songs kinda kick ass. Pre goth? Maybe. You might have thought that till they put out the next album about how the hate HB, but for now, it was all kinda like life sucks, so lets party!. And in the second part of the 80's, you know damn well that "Horse Bites Dog Cries" will be on there. -T

So, this is just the nomination process. Don't bother voting here. Just nominate either albums we suggested or add to the list albums that we forgot. Cause we do that. We forget. A lot. Welcome to FTTW. Also, remember this is about fun and these are only our opinions and opinions vary. Fun, damn it. FUN! Don't get all pedantic and condescending on us. Cause the last person that did that kind of got an earful from us.

Have fun and let's get this thing complete. Nominate, then chili dogs. Always the chili dogs.

FIRST HALF. 1980-1984.

July 4, 2006

Best Punk Album of the 70's: The Winner!

The 70's have ended. You have made your feelings known. The poll has ended and the cards are on the ground. We picked up the pieces and looked at what you wanted. If any of you don't know, this is a deathmatch for the greatest punk album of all time. What we are doing is taking your suggestions, putting them on a list, and letting you vote. The votes are split up by decades. This was the 70's. They have been closed.

We really need your input on these as we start the 80's in the morning. Those nominations will be up for a bit. Anything you say will make it up there. When this is all over we will have four albums. We all pit them against each other and let you fight it out to find who is the best while Michele and I eat chili dogs. We are sadistic like that. When the final vote is over, we can all sit back and laugh at who won.

But for now, the 70's winner.

They move on to the next round.

Vote results here

Thanks to everyone who nominated/voted and had fun with us on this.


Beat on the Brat
Blitzkreig Bop
I Don't Wanna Go in the Basement
53rd and 3rd


Check back tomorrow morning for the start of the Best Punk Album of the 80's poll!

July 2, 2006

Best Punk Album of the 70's: Voting Phase!

We're ready to roll out the voting on the 70's portion of Best Punk Albums.

If any of you don't know what is going on, a few days ago we asked you your opinion on the best punk albums of the 70's. We took all of the names you gave us. Everything. We formed a list and now it is time for you to vote. Attitudes and bullshit mean nothing to us here unless you give us a name. This stopped being our list the second we typed up the idea. This is the readers list. That means you. You made this. You decide.

The idea we had was to do decade by decade. Asking for your input. Have a vote. Then at the end, put the four winners of each decade against each other to find the best punk album of all time picked by you.

This is the 70's.

When this is over, you can god damn well tell us we suck for the winners or the losers, but in the end, the responsibility of the outcome is solely on you.

Just few a few notes before we begin:

This being a holiday weekend, things are a bit slow around here. Depending on the number of votes we get over the next day or so, we might just leave this thing up until after the holiday. Either way, we will not resume the list making until then. So look for the 80's nominations thing to begin on Wednesday.

So here's the 70's poll. Vote early, vote often, jam the phone lines, stuff the ballot box, form alliances, lie, cheat, steal...basically all the same things you did with the punk songs ballot apply here as well. The only steadfast rule we have here at FTTW is that you always keep in mind this is supposed to be fun. If the album you think should win doesn't, it's not a travesty of justice. It's that someone had more passion for clicking a mouse than you did. In the immortal words of Spongebob (the most punk rock sea creature ever), "It's not about winning, it's about fun!"

Now vote!






Best Punk Album - 70's

Name Your Poison









June 30, 2006

Best Punk Albums of the 70's - The List So Far (updated)

Here's the list thus far, compiled from the comments and including our two picks. You have until tomorrow to add more to this list and then we'll put it up for a vote. List has been updated to include comments from this post (well more like a conversation between turtle and COOP) Also, see note below the list. (We will update the list as necessary)

Stooges - Raw Power
Sham 69 - Tell Us The Truth
Ramones - Ramones
Ramones - Rocket To Russia
Sex Pistols - Never Mind the Bollocks
The Clash - The Clash
The Clash - London Calling
The Clash - Give Em Enough Rope
Elvis Costello - My Aim Is True
Elvis Costello's Armed Forces
Elvis - This Year's Model
The Jam - Setting Sons
The Jam - In The City
Talking Heads - 77
Buzzcocks - Orgasm Addict
Buzzcocks - Singles Going Steady
Dead Boys - Young, Loud and Snotty
Devo - Are We Not Men ?
The Cramps. Lucky 13.
Stooges - Fun House
Specials - Specials
Velvet Underground - Loaded
New York Dolls - New York Dolls
The Dickies - The Incredible Shrinking Dickies
Dictators -- Go Girl Crazy
Dictators - Blood Brothers
Angelic Upstarts - Teenage Warning
Generation X - Generation X
X Ray Spex - Germ Free Adolescents
Stiff Little Fingers - Inflammable Material
Germs - GI
Damned - Damned Damned Damned
Damned - Machine Gun Etiquette
Gang of Four - Entertainment 1979
Television - Marquee Moon
The Cure - Imaginary Boys
Public Image Ltd. - First Issue
Cockney Rejects - I'm Not A Fool EP
Vibrators - Pure Mania
Saints - (I’m) Stranded
Adverts - Crossing the Red Sea
Undertones - S/T
The Fall - Live At The Witch Trials.
Radio Birdman - Radios Appear
The Tubes - The Tubes
The Tubes - Young and Rich
The Tubes - Remote Control
Blondie - Blondie
Nick Lowe - Jesus of Cool/Pure Pop for Now People
Nick Lowe - Labour of Lust (Hey if Elvis Costello's on the list, then Nick Lowe needs to be here.)
Dave Edmunds - Rockpile (See Nick Lowe)

Side note: Keep in mind this is all for fun. If you want to email us and get all pissy about how we aren't "honoring" the real pioneers or talking enough about the history of punk or genuflecting to your idols and you want to school us on what the scene was like back then and make us feel like we are doing a disservice to punk rock lore by not including this band or that band and how we are forgetting that you singlehandedly saved the world from the bourgeios status quo because you were immersed in the 70's punk rock scene or whatever and how it is our responsibility to preserve your history and your ideals, well, as the most punk rock robot in the world would say:

bender_1.JPG

Remember: we aren't making this list. You are. If you have any comments about how we forgot something, don't get all fucked up about it and point fingers at us. We gave you the oppurtuntity to chime in. If you just didn't bother, not our problem. And if you have the time to send an email complaining to us, you had the time to leave a comment with your albums. Pretty simple.

New Poll Time!!
Best Punk Albums (by decade)

We had such fun with our Best Punk Songs poll that we decided it's time to do some more polling. This time around, we're doing albums. I know we've done the best punk albums of the 80s before, but that was just by us, for us. Now we want you. Well, we want your input. And your votes. This time, we are doing Best Punk Albums and we are going by decade.

We aren't going to start in the 60's or any kind of pre-punk stuff. We both talked about even not including the 70's in here and decided that we have to include them. You toss your favorites in here. Just for the decade we are doing. Then we will have a poll on that decade the next day. The winner will advance to the next round. The next day (or so) we will do the next decade. The same thing. You toss anything in you want. What you like, liked or just want to fuck with us with. The next day we will have a poll. When we are done, we will have four winners of each decade. Then we will pit them all against each other in a free for all cage match to see who wins.

So for today we have the 70's. Maybe we'll hang this for two days. Who knows. Depends on your response.

Here our two picks for Best Punk Albums of the 70's.


Stooges - Raw Power (1973)

sham.jpg“Do not adjust the speakers, man.” That’s what I remember my cousin saying to his brother about this album. It might have been when it first came out, maybe a year or two later. Going back that far, it gets fuzzy. But my cousins babysat for us a lot and they always brought over records to play for me. It was their way of “bringing me up right.” It’s how I came to love the music I do.

I don’t remember much about how I felt upon first hearing Raw Power. I didn’t come to really love or appreciate this album until much later. But I do remember Michael saying that. “Do not adjust the speakers, man.” And I know what he meant. This album was amplified, mixed loud and produced in such a way so that the guitars stood out above everything else. Raw power, indeed.

Some people think this album sounds messy. Some, like myself, think the complete opposite. It’s focused. It’s a tightly wrapped package of adrenaline, destruction and power. Raw Power kicks ass and takes names. It comes out fighting and keeps pummeling you, and even when in spaces it cools down a bit, it’s still packing a huge punch. Iggy’s vocals are so tight, so intense and the music so overlayed with noise and distortion and you may think that sounds messy, but it works. It is real raw power. This is what destruction sounds like. Whether that’s self-destruction or not was the question of the day when this album came out. Was this a band falling apart or a band just getting it together? Guess it depended on who was listening. For a slew of future punk rockers who claimed Raw Power as an influence, this was a band that knew how to make destruction sound good.

I’m not gonna pretend this isn’t an ugly album, because it is. But punk rock was never meant to be pretty.

*yea, i know all about the bowie remix controversy thing, but getting into it would take too much away from the idea at hand here -M

Raw Power
Search and Destroy


Sham 69 -Tell Us the Truth - 1978

stooges.jpgYou guys could prolly figure out I was going to do this. Being a young kid in California when all the skinhead shit came around, you could probably assume I would do this. I never hated this band like I did Skrewdriver or the 4skins. That shit was just evil. This was a different band. They started this, but for some strange reason in California it turned, well, weird. The Sham guys just wanted to have fun. You could always hear them having fun on the album. It was always awesome when they went on tour. They went out of their way to put out "Sham" shirts with silkscreened flowers on them. Just kind of of a symbol to knock this skin shit off. I don't care about your shoelaces. I don't care about their color. I don't care if you wear Docs. I don't care if you have a shaved head and I don't care if you have a mohawk. We aren't your spokesmen for hate. We just want to drink beer and play darts. Don't bring us into this. We stopped giving a fuck about your issues as soon as the first beer was poured. I'm not saying they weren't pissed. That's were they got their power from. They were tired of everything and just done with everything. The attituted was like, "You guys are all fucked and we hate you all."

Sure they made some statements like whomever was innocent or some kind of Borstal Breakout, but who even knew where that was much less knew how to spell it? A song about some kind of something that was covered by so many bands? It's gotta mean something. So many people covered it. What does it mean? Social statement? Meh. Gimmie another beer and let's go watch TV. Turn the stereo up and see what band covers it next. My favorite song on here has to be "Hey Little Rich Boy." Just cause I used to be playing before I had to hit the bus. I would get burned by rich kids with fast cars. Passing me by. Walking down the street looking for a bus. All I thought was, "I don't need a fast car to get me around. I can take a bus to the other side of town." True thoughts of someone who was beat down but never, ever would fall to his knees and he wanted you to know that. You would never beat him. -T


Borstal Breakout
Hey Little Rich Kid

So here's where you come in. Give us your choices. Best punk albums of the 70's. Just list them and go ahead and tell us why. List as many as you want. Rock the vote.

This is the 70's. Stick to the 70's! Just for this one! The 80's vote will be this weekend followed by the 90's shortly after and, welp, you guessed it....00's shortly after.

The Battle Royale has begun.

Update: We both already reviewed a great album from that decade: Ramones s/t (1976).

June 28, 2006

guilty as charged

Tonight's music list is a bit different. This is guilty pleasure time. The time when we publicaly admit to liking certain songs that may make you guys question our punk cred, or just question our taste in music at all. But hey, you have songs like these too. The ones you roll up the car window to sing. The ones where you hide the CD when that hot date comes over. We all have them. Some of us are secure enough to admit them.

perry.jpg1. Journey - Separate Ways
How can you not sing this song when it comes on? I can’t be the only one who takes the nearest thing that resembles a microphone and does a Steve Perry grimace while banging my fist against the wall motion. You have seen the video, haven’t you? Some people call this video and song the ultimate in cheese rock. And they are right. But I love it. - M

2. Dramarama - Anything

This song was just neat cause it was a guy so in love he would would do, well anything. Kinda pathetic really, but it always came on when I got carded for beer. "I'll do anything, anything, anything!" But, instead of pleading for a girl's love, I was pleading for a twelve pack of Pabst. - T

3. Bon Jovi - Dead or Alive
This is how you measure a guilty pleasure song: does it make you burst out singing even when your heart and soul are yelling a big Darth Vader “Noooooooooooooooo!”? When this song comes on I am a fucking cowboy. Riding a steel horse. And when he gets to that part, oh yea you know what part, it’s all I can do to keep from pumping my fist in the air. Cause I’ve seen a million faces. And I’ve rocked them all. Maybe Bon Jovi was kinda lying to himself there, but we all sing it like we mean it. - M

4. Len - Steal My Sunshine

You guys all know you had a crush on the voice of the girl in the background. len.jpgThe repeatitive cries of "If you steal my sunshine," turned all your heads. Sometimes you listen to a song and just have to think about the lyrics. What the fuck was slurply goo type..... What the hell was she talking about? - T


5. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me
Sometimes you go years and years singing a favorite song, not even bothering to really listen to the lyrics or think about what you are singing. And one day, you will have a moment of clarity, maybe in your car in the 7-11 parking lot, singing out loud with the window open, when you'll realize just how incredibly stupid a lyric "do you take sugar, one lump or two" is. But that doesn’t stop you from hitting repeat. Again. - M

6. Judas Priest - Breaking the Law

Hey, I'll admit it. I am a closet metal fan. I used to have all of their albums around my room. My dad always asked me if I thought the singer looked "funny". I never got that. This song doesn't do a whole hell of alot. It's kinda stupid actually and basically is about homosexual sex, so sometimes I feel a little weird singing it out of the car when I'm driving. But, meh. I'm secure in my masculinty. I'm just pissed that Rob Halford snuck so many glory hole references in his songs all these years and never let us in on the joke. - T

7. Poison - Talk Dirty To Me

I’ve been trying to convince people - and myself - for years that I hate hair metal. It’s become painfully obvious to me recently that is a blatant lie. Still, I’m sitting here wondering if I’m really ready to admit that I have so much fun singing this song that it’s on six different mix CDs I’ve made for my car. CC, pick up that guitar and talk to me!

8. Iron Maiden - Run to the Hills

Wait. I thought these guys were from like some island way on the other side of the earth. Or like Spain. Or at least Mexico. Why are they singing about Indians and early frontier battles? Hell, I need to write a song about eating jellied eels or eating bangers and mash. Hey, if they can write about us, I can write about them. "The teeth were bad in the midnight sun! The eels were old so we had no funnnnnnnn!"maiden.jpg See! I can do it! I'm just kidding. But I always thought this song was funny because the video made it look like they were making some kind of statement or maybe they were just drunk.

9. Nysync - Bye Bye Bye
Shut up. Just. Shut. Up. It’s catch, ok? And I once had a small, lustful crush on Justin Timberlake. After the breakup of the band, though.timber.jpg When he looked more like a man. And before I started figuring out he might not be all that manly. It was a quick crush. Lasted through maybe one set of batteries. That’s it. I swear. And I know all the dance steps this song. Yea, I just said that out loud. Kill me now.

10. Madonna - Tell Me

Hm. Turtle pulls his head into his shell on this one. Yes. I love this song. It is one of the best songs I had heard in awhile. The way the music stops and starts. With the skipping and the stopping of the guitar in the back. I love it and that's all I'm going to say. So there. - T

11. Van Halen - Panama
Ok, so I am a Van Halen fan. Mega VH fan. DLR era only. Don’t even mention those other cocksuckers to me. Anyhow, this song. Well, when you’re listening to it with some family members in the car on the way to a distant relative’s funeral and everyone is all quiet and suddenly you burst out with “I reach down between my legs n' ease the seat back,” it becomes a guilty pleasure. - M

12. Neil Young - Old Man

I don't why this song has always moved me. I basically hate Neil Young, well hate is a pretty strong word, but this song was the one thing I ever liked from him. Just a sad long look at what someone had lost already and what an onlooker knew he was losing now. Plus it makes Michele happy when I sing it too her. Hey dude. You can't go wrong with that. Sad songs turn girls on. Don't ask me why. - T

13.Air Supply - Making Love Out of Nothing at All
Fuck you. They are one of the greatest bands ever. Don’t look at me like that. Stop it. They rule. Come on. This guy sings his fucking heart out for you, man. The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost/And it's looking for a rhythm like you. Jesus, this guy has got it bad. How can you not feel it?

So that's the end of our list for tonight. Mock us accordingly. We know. We deserve it. But in the end, you know you want to steal our sunshine too.

June 23, 2006

More Offensive Than Your Mom!

And we continue to roll with the offensive songs list.

See. This is the part of the page I have a few issues on. Most of my songs never offended me, but would offend someone like my mother sitting back in a lazy boy recliner. So these reviews really, really have to make me think. So we need contributions from readers like you. Like PBS, this site needs readers like you. That's funny. I can picture Bert asking Ernie "What song offends you, Ernie" and Ernie saying "Fuck you! You one eyebrow yellow motherfucker!"

Well, that was a weird thought. But, we need your help. Keep thinking of song that would turn people around to wonder "Are they saying "fuck my dead Gramma?" Well not those exact words, but you get the point. How long will this list go? As long as you want it too.

But, for now, here are tonight's offerings.

Butt Trumpet - I've Been So Mad Lately

Ok. Someone got dumped and used. This is pretty obvious here. She got taken over and left in the dust to pick up the pieces. So she wanted to make a song of it. So she was pissed. So she wanted everyone to know. So she likes to use bad words. Can you blame her? "Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you." I think this was Bianci Butthole singing but it's been so long you can't quote me on that. The funniest part about this song is that she was so cute. Seeing her scream "You can eat the corn out of my shit" was really like watching a comedy. Like a kitten playing with a mouse before she eats it. A tall bass player with legs running up to her neck screaming to the crowd "Hell damn shit damn fuck damn shit piss!" Oh yeah. Someone had one left her high and dry. And she was gonna let everyone know what a dick they were. "You took all my thing's and you left me nothing!" Oh yeah. This songs got nowhere to go but down. But hey dude. She was angry. But, the eating corn out of shit line is classic. -T

TSOL - Code Blue

Goth punk? Hippy punk? Some band that The Meatmen always made fun of? LA homo band? I don't know. They were a little, well, out there, but that was before my time. I think they are reformed with a new singer now, but I don't know. Some bands do that. Play with the original set but with a different singer. That's just wrong. Anyways "Code Blue". Not a whole hell of a lot i can say about this one. Girls talk too much. They don't like cum in their hair and what's worse, they complain about it when someone shoots a load in it.Too much talking. Too many rules. Well screw that. I want someone who shuts up and just lays there. I want a dead body that reeks like chemicals. Just to do to what I want with. I don't want to hear your opinions and I don't need you advice. Just lay down and be still. Sure, she stinks like formaldehyde, but at least she doesn't make any noise while you fuck her. -T

Dr. Know - Fist Fuck

I really like this song. I have no idea why. Maybe it's just that you can tell they are half drunk, maybe cause you can tell they are just having fun, maybe it's cause it comes on in a slow part of the album and just kicks you in the face. "Fist fuck! Straight up your ass! Fist fuck!" I mean hey. That's poetry right there. Saying nothing else but that over and over. "Fist Fuck!" Then some words behind it where you can tell they were trying to get the Grammy that year for the most offensive song. I still remember hearing this as a kid and being excited when the opening riff kicked. That meant the party was gonna start now. "Fist fuck!" I liked it so much, I'm really surprised I didn't end up with my cock stuck in a glory hole in some public bathroom off I-5 waiting for Mr. Right with his Mr. Mouth to find my Mr. Cock. Plus they mention Ill Duece! That's cool! -T


MDC - John Wayne Was a Nazi

stains.jpgI’m not a fan of John Wayne. The person or the persona. The man or the movies. To me, he was just an icon that stood for Things That Make Me Cringe. That includes westerns. Except for Clint Eastwood westerns. They rule. But let me tell you, you mention to people that you don’t like John Wayne and, for the most part, they look at you like you just said “I want to shoot the president, rape your mother and burn a flag while your kitten is wrapped up in it.” So I don’t bother getting into any convos about Mr. Wayne.

MDC has no problem telling you what they think about the Duke. In their typical spittle-angry fashion, they peg Wayne as a rape/pillage kind of guy, a nazi sympathizer, racist, homophobic legend whose death was just life’s way of evening up the score. Let’s just say they don’t really care for the person or persona, the man or the movies. I think next time a conversation comes up that forces me to state my feelings about John Wayne, I’ll just recite these lyrics. If anything, it will end the conversation right there. -M

Weasels - Beat Her With a Rake

(thanks to Scott for this song suggestion)
So I beat her with a rake, made her pay for her mistake. Yea, people are gonna find this song offensive. People who major in Womyn’s Studies at all female colleges, the ACLU, people like that. Ok, maybe just your average every day normal person might be offended by the sentiments within this song.

But. Dude. This is fucking good music. This song kicks. So what if he’s talking about beating some chick with a rake? Come on, that’s like being offended at some cheesy slasher flick. It’s a rake. It’s kinda funny. He sings it with such rock and roll passion, growling out the words like some rock god singing about drugs or cars instead of this dude singing about killing his girl with a garden accessory. It’s kinda fun to sing.. I can totally envision this song being played in some huge arena, maybe as the encore to a night filled with pure kick ass music and we all have our lighters out, holding them up high, singing So I beat her with a rake, made her pay for her mistake....but that’s just me. -M

Now, here's a couple of other songs chosen by Scott of Strange Reaction, for your listening pleasure. Notes by Scott.


Child Molesters - 13 Is My Lucky Number
Benedict Arnold and the Traitors - Kill the Hostages (offensive at least when it was released)
Helen Keller - Mein Death Kampf Shuffle
Curse - Shoeshine Boy (tacky song about a child murder)
Tad - Nipple Belt (maybe not punk rock, but any song about an Ed Gein trophy should get listed)


Thank you, Scott for that shitload of offensiveness. If you've got more songs to add to the list, do it. This will be an indefinitely continuing kind of thing, so you never know when we'll pick up your song and go with it.

Update: Just a disclaimer here, because I'm noticing some weird things in our referrer stats - please take this post and others like it in context. We are just looking for the most offensive punk songs. Inclusion of songs here does not mean we condone the subject matter of said songs. I thought that might go without saying? Apparently not.

June 20, 2006

Screw VH-1. This is the Top Offensive Punk Songs of All Time

Well it's time. We asked and you answered. We still need more input from you out there. You wanted a list of the most offensive songs given to us by you. We made some grave omissions in the last list. We are here to make up for that.
The bands given to us so far are only a tad bit of what we need. We need you to put more in. This isn't like the 100 Best Punk songs. Some of us are really limited by offensive songs. I go to church each Sunday, so I won't listen to things that make me wince. Those god damn songs make the motherfucking baby jesus cry like he has a vibrator stuck out his ass.

Hm. Maybe I was wrong. But this is the start. How long it will go? Depends on how far you want to take it. We have the first set and we are ready to go. All reader contributions will be used. Try to stay off songs from the last list. Which, I dont think you will have many problems with doing.

Ready?

Here we go!

This might get ugly so keep your head down.

The Meatmen - Tooling for Anus

Oh you knew they would be here. In fact my entire post tonight will be all about them. Hey, these guys were good. This song started off a raw album that just got rawer...it's that a word? Anyways. Imagine being a little kid putting this on listening to two guys talk about gay anal sex and smoking dope. Wow. The song hadn't even started yet. This has gotta be good. "One rim job a year ago and he think's we're lovers" "Oh here. Suck." Oh god. This album has gotta be good. I always felt a little strange laughing at this intro just because it is so....gay. It is really funny. The song kicks and you and you end up with a song about insulting homosexuals and shooting his goo. Truly a masterpiece.


The Meatmen - 1 Down 3 To Go

I'll admit. I had no clue as to what he was saying. I had no idea what this song was about. I really didn't care. Until one day my mom walking in while I was listening to it. "They are saying what???" "What mom?" "Fuck fuck fuck fuck the Beatles?" "Really? That's kinda cool." A song about celebrating John Lennon getting assinated while asking at the same time for three more people to step up to the plate to wack the rest. I guess some people really didn't like John Lennon that much. I didn't really like the Beatles, but if the only cool band member was dead there was nothing left. Let's kill them all. Dope and Yoko Ono. Middle aged old hairy people. Thank god I don't use drugs anymore or this song would have fucked me up. Well maybe it did. You make the call. - T


The Meatmen - The "Suck" Trilogy

Crippled Children Suck

French People Suck

Camel Jockies Suck

Let's nail these all in one.

The Meatmen. Jeez guys. Let's see who else we can offend. They went out of their way to insult crippled children. Refined it on the French, then perfected it by yelling at camel jockies. Listen to all these in order and you will be bombing some children's hospital while robbing a liquor store at the same time. French camel jockies who are crippled must really suck. Jeez. That's the trifecta of sucking. The Meatmen were sorely forgotten in the last list. So to make up, I dedicated this post to making up for my mistake. And to little baby boys with an arm stuck out their ass. And to girls who have been preparing themselves with herbal laxitives who want to shit on our face. - T


I kinda wish that Anal Cunt was considered punk, because I could just say "the entire Anal Cunt" catalog and be done with this list. Ok, I'm gonna start out easy here.

Misfits - Bullet

If this sounds familiar it’s because I had this in the punk songs list.

How many ways can you offend people in one song? When I heard these lyrics for the first time I could almost hear the collective gasp of middle America. I could see scarf-wearing suburban women fainting in shock, grown men in seersucker suits and military hair cuts banging their fists in anger and demanding death to the Misfits. I mean, my god. Masturbation, eating cum out of your palm, shattered head on concrete - dude this is more offensive than the time when I was working at the record store and put out a display of Dead Kennedys record on November 22. But really, anyone totally appalled at this song only has to watch the Misfits perform it to see it go from tastelessness to, well, campy tastelessness. -M


SOD - Pre Menstrual Princess Blues

200.jpgIRVING? WHERE’S MY MAXI PADS? This song is for everyone who has stage fright when they buy tampons, for everyone who still calls their period “Aunt Flo” in hushed tones, for everyone who cringes when I say things like “I’m on the rag” or “I’m bleeding like a stuck pig, dude.” For all of you who think the term “red wings” should only be spoken in hockey conversations. I'M PASSING CLOTS THE SIZE OF BASKETBALLS!! One woman’s menstrual humor is another woman’s shocked gasp. It’s blood, get over it. -M


Anti Nowhere League - So Fucking What

You can judge a song’s true offensiveness by how your mother reacts when you hit “play” on the cassette tape in your car, thinking that you had something benign like Pink Floyd (your mother’s favorite band) in there but it was the tape your best friend made for you and it was poised right at the point in this song where he snarls “Well I've fucked a sheep, And I've fucked a goat, I've had my cock right down its throat,” and your mom turns and looks at you and says “This is what paying for four years of Catholic school got me?” And she shakes her head and begs you to put The Wall back on. Ok, but “ohhh I need a dirty woman” is ok, mom? Goat, woman, what’s the difference? And just an aside, I wish I had a dollar for every time I had to say to someone: THIS IS NOT A FUCKING METALLICA SONG. Jesus. -M

See the extended entry below for a reminder of what we mean by "offensive" here.

Continue reading "Screw VH-1. This is the Top Offensive Punk Songs of All Time" »

June 19, 2006

new list time! let's get offensive!

Hey, it's time! Time to start a new list! The 100 Best Punk songs list was so much fun to do that we're ready to start up another round of list making.

We already mentioned this before, but now it's official. We're ready to start making the list of Most Offensive Punk Songs.

Let's just get this out of the way, what offensive means. We don't mean offensive to us, or to you, because if you were easily offended, you wouldn't be listening to the stuff we write about. And we don't mean offensive to someone like Tipper Gore, because, well, everything offends her. You could write a song about bicycles and she would find a way to misconstrue it to be about violent sexual predators smoking drugs and commiting suicide while chanting curse words at Satan. Oh yea, gives you new insight into Queen's Bicycle Race, huh?

So for the sake of argument (and for the sake of this list) let's say that offensive means this: If you played this song loud enough for your neighbors to hear, they would either a) report you to the "authorities"; b) hide their children from you; c) pay Rev. Falwell $100 to pray for your soul; d) wrap their house in duct tape and tin foil to protect themselves from you or e) all of the above. Or, in more simple terms, if you sang this song in front of your grandmother she would make you wash your mouth out with soap. And you probably find the song amusing, at the very least. We're talking way offensive here. You might be thinking Blink 182's Family Reunion,, but that's just a bunch of bad words strung together. We're thinking more along the lines of Meatmen's Crippled Children Suck. Or that Guttermouth song about your mom fucking a donkey.

Offsensive. Unpolitically correct. Mean. Filthy. Dirty. Deranged. Shocking. Apalling. Disgusting. Offensive.

Yea, I know some of you already gave your suggestions in another post, but let's start this up fresh. Turtle and I will be following the same method we did for the 100 songs, posting our own favorites along with a little blurb about them. I don't know how many we are going for yet. Not 100, though. That's just too much. Whim, guys. Keyword for this site is whim. And now, offensive. Mamma always warned you about people like us.

You know what we want. Give it to us.*

*no, neither of us want anal sex with midgets, thank you. well, i can only speak for myself. i'll let turtle make up his own mind on that one.

-M

Update: We've started an annotated list over here.


Some good comments on the subject over at Dean's.

June 15, 2006

and the winners are.......

Ok. It's over guys. This is done. This is what you wanted to see. How it all turned out. The results of the 100 Best Punk Songs poll:

Thank you to everyone who participated in this, from those who made suggestions of songs, to those who contributed songs to the list and to everyone who voted. We got way more votes than I thought we would and we had a lot of fun today reading your comments (here and on your blogs) and watching the totals. Thank you to anyone who linked us cause without you, we would be alone.We hope you had as much fun doing this as we did writing all the reviews. We know there were disagreements and we expected that, but it was all in fun. But thank you for showing up. Enough with our bullshit, lets get to what you want. Just keep in mind that you all had the chance to make your votes - and make as many as you want - so if you're unhappy with the list here? Remember two things: you had your chance, and it's just a list, man. In the larger scheme of things, this will affect your life about 0%. And hey, I know my favorite song won. But it wasn't me, dude. I swear. I had nothing to do with it. If I was gonna stuff the ballot for one of my favorite songs, I'd be less obvious about it.

The Top 15 songs as voted on by you! Ready? Here we go! - These are the reviews originally posted in the list. mp3 linked in song title, number of votes in parentheses, and reviewer listed at end. Again, thanks for making this a whole shitload of fun. - M/T


1. Minor Threat - Salad Days (93)


Almost everyone who has added to this list has a favorite Minor Threat song. So I'm gonna get mine up here first. Because I can. The slow start, the build up, the anticipation because you know the song is gonna kick any second and then MacKaye starts in half singing, half talking in that frenzied way - and that's one of the things I aways dug most about Minor Threat, is the way his vocals make it seem like you're sitting in a bar with him and he's just going off about something (and this is also true of why I love Fugazi and, on a different but same tanget, 7 Seconds). And listening to Salad Days you know it's the last thing they did, so you sing along with the lyrics in a wistful kind of way but you think, what a hell of a way to go out. -M


2. Misfits - Some Kind of Hate (88)
I'm trying to narrow my Misfits songs down and damn, it's hard. But I think out of all of them, this one best exemplifies Danzig's penchant for masturbating with his own voice. You won't get this kind of "I'm a real singer, damn it, listen to me croooooooon" again until much later on (when he was solo) with "You and Me (Less Than Zero)." And I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing. Danzig was at his best when he was making sweet love to himself. Plus, you gotta dig the whole Phil Spector type music, as if the Ronnettes were gonna suddenly bust out with maggots in the eye of love won't copulate. -M

3. Social Distortion - Mommy's Little Monster (56)
Ok. I know Social Distortion is on here a lot. It just was gonna happen. There are people who found them at the beginning and thought they were too punk, and people who found them in the end who thought they were too mellow and sold out. All I remember is seeing them at shows looking like they wanted this to end. This was way back. When you could feel this song. Feel the song and anger and frustration and futileness of being a punk rocker. We were built for this, but it didn't mean we were gonna win. We were all just fucked up kids trying to get through another day while trying to get laid and get high. Hey, something fun to do in your spare time! If you really want to have fun.....try singing the lyrics! Mike Ness has a voice that you can't get to. I just sounded lame singing this song on the phone yesterday to Michele. That's his voice. Gutter and hard. Great song about being beat down before you grew up. -T

4. Bad Brains - House of suffering (47)
Man this band kicked everybody's ass. When I heard this song eminating from a stereo i knew it was going to be a good party. I mean anyone can sit through the intro and "I Against I," but when they let it play through to House of Suffering you pretty much knew they were going to play the whole album. - Kali

5. Dead Kennedys - Holiday in Cambodia (39)
One of the first punk songs I ever heard that proved to me that some punk guitarists actually knew how to play. Politics aside, DK has always had a powerful sound and Jello had a vicious wit to match. "Holiday in Cambodia" catures everything good about this band without getting terribly cheesy. - Cullen

6. Husker Du - New Day Rising (34)
This song is like fifty hits of speed shoved into your veins with a needle that's been dipped in pure adrenaline. It's fucking primal scream therapy. It's stomping on the ground and shaking your head and kicking the wall and maybe taking a chunk of plaster out of the spot behind your bedroom door and you really don't fucking care, you are just ripping shit off your walls and throwing books and empty beer cans around and screaming along with the song - and I mean throat tearing, from the bottom of your stomach sreaming - which you play 43 times in a row until a neighbor bangs on the window and asks if you are ok and you are like. Fuck yea, I'm ok. I'm better than ok. Cathartic. - M

7. Sleater Kinney - Dig Me Out(30)
Who are these guys? What the hell is this? Is this punk? Three ladies from Portland or Seattle or some rainy fucking state. I don't know. But something was different with this song. Something that made us all look at the CD and wonder what was with it. Oh fuck. There's only three of them. Well thats ok. What's different. What's going on? Fuck. Wait. That's not a fucking bass. Is that a bass? No. That isn't. That's a toned down fucking guitar. That's weird. But also. That's really fucking cool. Really cool. This is a great song that opened this band to the entire world. Started an album that didn't stop. A song about just being bothered by someone. Dig me out dig me in. Love and frustration. And getting ready for a show. I think. Fuck. Idunno. It could be about chili dogs for all I care. All I know is this song rocked. - T

8. Subhumans - Susan (22)
This might not be your favorite Subhumans song. You might not even call it punk rock. But to this day I still know the lyrics. This song always came up in my head when I saw someone who just wanted out. Trust me. A lot of people in my life wanted out and were just forced to keep going. But, they just wanted out. This tells you off a story of one girl who wanted out years before but couldn't go. A weird, dark song about her just wanting to die but staying alive just for others to smile, but in the end giving up. A really sad song about a girl who was forgotten in the end. -T

9. Sex Pistols - God Save the Queen (21)
The Pistols created quite a stir when they performed this song on a cruise ship on the Thames during the Jubilee Celebration. While the British press was all wrapped up in the fanfare of the Queen's Jubilee and celebration the nation's glorious past, the punks, led by the Sex Pistols, were turning their backs to the pomp and declaring independence from the celebrated past. The Sex Pistols commentary was expressed in a phrase that became the rallying cry of punks in '77: "no future." -Andrew

10. The Stooges - Search and Destroy (20)
I don't think there's much debate that The Stooges are the first real punk band. The created the sound that launched the New York Dolls who in turn launched The Sex Pistols and inspired The Ramones. Search and Destroy shows us the angry, anti-hippy angst that was bleeding out of the Motor City. -Cullen


11.Suicidal Tendencies - Institutionalized (19)

The first time i heard the "what're you tryin' to say, i'm crazy?" speech, i knew i was punk rock. iI had found my voice through Mike Muir. And I rode the angst train all the way to the station. - Kali



12. Ramones - Beat on the Brat (18)
"Blitzkrieg Bop" kicked off the revolution with a "Hey! Ho! Let's Go!", but this one is more typical of what appeals to me with the Ramones. It works on so many levels at once, and it's the blueprint for most of their future songs. You can use it when you're angry. You can laugh at it (they don't really mean it...right?). You can take it as autobiographical (kinda like "sittin' here in Queens, eatin' refried beans, gulping down thorazines...") Plus, it rocks the hell out. -Solonor

13. The Clash - London's Burning (15)
As unfashionable as it seems to be (maybe it's just me), the Clash are my second favorite punk band. The opening of this song is classic. Joe Strummer screams, the guitar and drums pound out a fanfare, and we're off. The lyrics aren't much for much, compared to other songs, but I just change "London's burning with boredom now!" to "Bangor's burning with boredom now!" and go on with my little teenage angsty life. -Solonor

14. MC5 - Kick Out the Jams ( 13)
So I’m in the car with my 13 year old son, listening to the punk rock station on XM radio and this song comes on. Kick out the jams, motherfucker! Kid says, hey this song sounds old. I said yea, 1969, dude. This is like the original punk rock song. The original punk rock band. He says “they said motherfucker in 1969??” That made me laugh. But hey, he rocked out to the song and immediately hit his Fender when we got home to try and work it out. Over 30 years later and some 13 year old kid is laying down your notes on his guitar and thinking it’s one of the coolest things he ever heard? Rock on. -M

15. Angry Samoans - Lights Out (12)


Hey dude. Theres not much to say on this song except to quote them. "We weren't the best but we rocked the hardest." Jesus, dude. What the fuck was with these guys? A band from LA in the LA scene who fucking didn't care about anything but breaking things. While others were singing about love on a couch they were singing about poking your eyes out with a fork. I'm telling you, this song rocks. *Disclaimer* This site has no responsiblity if you poke your eyes out with a fork. -T


Other songs getting votes:
Clash - White Man in Hammersmith Palais (11); Richard Hell and the Voidoids - Blank Generation (10); The Clash - Complete Control (10); Black Flag - Depression (10); Social Distortion - "Ball and Chain" (10); Dead Milkmen - Bitchin’ Camaro (10); Operation Ivy - Sound System (10); The Damned - "New Rose" (10); Bad Brains - Banned in DC (10); Jonathan Richman - "Roadrunner" (8); The Jam - Down in the Tube Station at Midnight (6); Minutemen - Corona (6); Husker Du - Divide and Conquer (6); nomeansno - The River (6); Jim Carroll Band - People Who Died (5); D.I. - "Richard Hung Himself" (5); Germs - Lexicon Devil (5); Misfits - Bullet (5); Fugazi - Promises (4); GBH - Knife Edge (4); Circle Jerks - "Back Against the Wall" (4); SOD - March of the SOD (4); MDC - I Remember (4); Minor Threat - It Follows (4);' Black Flag - Rats Eyes (3); Social Distortion - Reach for the Sky (3); Buzzcocks - Fast Cars (3); The Business - Harry May (3); Vandals - Change the World With My Hockey Stick (3); Circle Jerks - Live Fast, Die Young (3); The Damned - "Love Song" (3); Spermbirds - My god rides a skateboard (2); TSOL - Code Blue (2); Fear - Gimmie Some Action (2); Dicks - Dicks Hate the Police (2); SNFU - She's Not On The Menu (1); Hellacopters - Fire Fire Fire (1); Exploited - Sex and Violence (1); Dr. Know -Watch it Burn (1); Radio Birdman - New Race (1); DI - Youth In Asia (1); 7 Seconds - Remains to Be Seen (1); Negative Approach - Evacuate (1); Fang - An Invitation [to a Suicide] (1); Flipper: Life (1); Butt Trumpett - I'm Ugly And I Don't Know Why (1); Refused - New Noise (1); Rancid - Sidekick (1); Turbonegro - Don't Say Motherfucker, Motherfucker (1); Steel Pole Bathtub - "Train to Miami" (1); Dwarves - "Let’s Fuck" (1); CIV - "Set Your Goals" (1); Fang - "Money Will Roll Right In" (1); Generation X - Your Generation (1); MDC - My Family’s A Little Weird (1)


Again, thanks to everyone who helped make this fun. We kinda put a lot of work into this, so if you want to complain about anything, do so with the caveat that we're probably not listening. I don't mean to be, well, mean, but some of you (yea, I'm talking to you) really need to untwist those panties a bit. This is about having fun. FUN, damn it! In the immortal words of Murphy's Law: 'cause you gotta have fun. Fun! Christ, you gotta have fun. Fun! In the sun! Cause you gotta have fun.Fun!

We did. Hope you did, too.

June 13, 2006

100 Greatest Punk Songs: Let the Voting Begin!

This is it folks. We hit the end. This was hard but we needed it done. This is a drop down list of your, and our, favorite songs. Vote as many times as you want for whatever song you want. If you want to hear the song, go to the side bar. All the songs are listed. If you want to see a specific review, all the posts are linked in the sidebar as well. Have fun reading and picking cause we had a lot of fun doing this. Sometimes this has been clunky, but we got through. Enjoy the vote cause in a few days we will post the results. Have fun and come out fighting.
Hey, if you want to get the voting cooking, email all your friends and send them over or, if you have a blog, send your readers over. The more voters, the more fun this will be. Feel free to bitch about the songs and/or results while you are here! - And if this is your first time here, scroll down for some posts about sex, drugs, rock and roll, world cup, sex and drugs. And come back soon for our list of most offensive punk songs. -M/T

[PLEASE NOTE THAT THE POLL IS NOW CLOSED. VOTING HAS ENDED. SEE MAIN PAGE OF SITE.]

Here are the winners

100 best punk songs 94 -100!!

Well we did it! We hit 100! Tomorrow we will post all the songs, just by title and not the stories. Please come in and give us your top 10. Rate them, yell at us and tell us we suck for missing your favorite song.

So get ready for the full list to be posted, cause we hit 100, baby! This might have been a big task but we need to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who got us here. You guys helped alot and added your feelings about a song or two.

Stick around for the voting. It's gonna happen, baby. Cause we didn't come this fucking far to stop now.

This is the end.

Ready?

94. Social Distortion - Mommy's Little Monster
Ok. I know Social Distortion is on here a lot. It just was gonna happen. There are people who found them at the beginning and thought they were too punk, and people who found them in the end who thought they were too mellow and sold out. All I remember is seeing them at shows looking like they wanted this to end. This was way back. When you could feel this song. Feel the song and anger and frustration and futileness of being a punk rocker. We were built for this, but it didn't mean we were gonna win. We were all just fucked up kids trying to get through another day while trying to get laid and get high. Hey, something fun to do in your spare time! If you really want to have fun.....try singing the lyrics! Mike Ness has a voice that you can't get to. I just sounded lame singing this song on the phone yesterday to Michele. That's his voice. Gutter and hard. Great song about being beat down before you grew up. -T

[note: he actually sounded pretty good - M]

95. Vandals - Change the World With My Hockey Stick
This song was only available on the soundtrack to some shitty Ben Affleck movie. Really, is there any other kind? I can’t even find the lyrics online and I’m not gonna write them out for you here cause there’s a whole lot of them. But it’s pretty much what the title says. They are gonna rule the world - even cure global warming - with their hockey stick. What can I say? I love hockey. And the thought of ruling the world with a taped up Koho makes me smile. Helps that the song is fast, fun, typical Vandals irreverence. Plus, hockey stick. Changing the world with one. No game misconducts in my kingdom, buddy. Get outta my way. - M

96. Sleater Kinney - Dig Me Out
Who are these guys? What the hell is this? Is this punk? Three ladies from Portland or Seattle or some rainy fucking state. I don't know. But something was different with this song. Something that made us all look at the CD and wonder what was with it. Oh fuck. There's only three of them. Well thats ok. What's different. What's going on? Fuck. Wait. That's not a fucking bass. Is that a bass? No. That isn't. That's a toned down fucking guitar. That's weird. But also. That's really fucking cool. Really cool. This is a great song that opened this band to the entire world. Started an album that didn't stop. A song about just being bothered by someone. Dig me out dig me in. Love and frustration. And getting ready for a show. I think. Fuck. Idunno. It could be about chili dogs for all I care. All I know is this song rocked. - T

97. Generation X - Your Generation
Ok. The only thing I don't like about this song is that it inspired some dumb ass guy with like writing things and like pencils to write a story and tag a generation. We didn't need a tag and we didn't need a name. This was a song that was played on the jukebox for me when I was feeling down. I don't know. I liked the rythm and the guitar. Fuck Billy Idol. He wasn't such of an arrogant dick back then. This is where it started for him. He was just a kid and it shows. And from what you hear on the song, he is just like a kid. Brash, arrogant and scared. A song about forgetting the past older fuckers who wonder about what was happening to a scene while the new generation was moving on with something new. Looking at the past and spitting on it and walking away.

But hell, this was in England. I don't know what the hell was going on there. I was still playing with Legos. -T

98. Black Flag - Depression
A song about depression that plays fast and hard and angry. Because depression isn’t always about hiding your head under the pillow and turning the lights out on the world. Sometimes it’s about trying to shake a monkey off your back. Sometimes it’s about kicking, screaming, fist pounding, wall punching anger and rage. This song is about tearing your skin open just to let it all out and letting people know that if they stand by and watch this happen, they are gonna get caught in the fallout. And you don’t fucking care. It’s about throwing yourself against a wall just to get that thing off your back. Hard. And liking the feel of it when the wall meets your bones. - M

99. MDC - My Family’s A Little Weird
Typical MDC breathless vocals and speed demon music that sounds like it’s coming out of your neighbor’s garage, combined with lyrics that make you think your dysfunctional family might not be so bad. Or maybe it speaks to you, like one of those “yea man, I know exactly what he means” songs. Grandma’s selling drugs, dad’s wearing a dress, there’s dead children and lying whores and....well yea maybe my family has a few of these. So I shouldn’t be too judgmental. Glass houses and all. Not gonna say too much about it. But grandma, god rest her soul, she had to make a living somehow...hey, Dave Dictor is from Long Island. We grow them weird here. That’s all I’m saying. - M

nomeanso.jpg
100. nomeansno - The River - turtle's take
We wanted to do a big one last. This is going to be a two parter. One half Michele and one part me. We purposely didn't look at each other's reviews because we wanted each other's take on it. Yeah, it's that good of a fucking song. We both did it because that's what this song deserves. The words. The feelings. Pull you in. This is nomeansno. This is their finest work ever. If you listen to what he is saying, you will prolly have to sit down and cry. I would save you if my life is wasn't already sacrificed to the river. The words have so many meanings and so many interpretations. I hate to say this, but this is beautiful. Help me! Help me! Lend me your hand! Pull me out! Pull me out! If you listen to the grinding beat and the desparation in his voice, you will notice what this song is. Two drummers, one bass, one guitarist who barely plays. With Rob Wright barely hanging on asking you to forgive him for saving himself.

Because it didn't matter. His life was already sacrificed.

To the river. -T

100. nomeansno - The River - Michele's take
One of the most emotional songs I’ve ever heard. Rob Wright’s voice - think Danzig without the theatrics - layered over pounding, relentless drums and a driving rhythm packs enough emotion as is, but when you listen to the lyrics, really, really listen, every note seems stronger, every word amplified, every beat louder. This song reaches inside you and pulls out everything in your heart and soul. Love, anger, sadness, desperation, beauty, fear, it’s all there. Watching someone go under, someone desperate for your help, but you can’t do shit about it because you’ve already gone under yourself. Helplessness, despair, but something so....beautiful about it. Tragically beautiful. “When you’re born you start to drown..” That pretty much sums up the entire song. - M

That was 100! Wow! We did it! Jesus fucking christ we did it! Ok now. Voting. That will come soon. Thank you all for participating and sticking around. Now let's get these fuckers sorted out. Tomorrow the list will be up. And then we will fight for the order. Get ready cause here it comes.....and thanks for all your help.

June 12, 2006

100 best punk songs, 88-93

We are winding up the list of the 100 greastest punk songs. This was a lot of work and we had a lot of fun. We want to thank all of you for helping out in this, well, seemingly impossible mission. We have eight left. Eight more. Til we throw it out to you and step back and watch you go at it like mad pirhana on some poor cow who just a wanted drink of water. The voting will be up later in the week when we finish this. But for now, the next six. Have fun thinking about which ones we forgot and get ready to bitch at us in the end cause this train is almost at the station. I feel so Petticoat Junction......anyways, the next six! Here we go!

88. The Damned - "Love Song"
Two Damned songs in one post? Hey, we don’t really consult each other before we come up with our songs for the day, so this is what you get. We’re lucky we at least chose two different songs.

"Love Song" is every romantic cliche you can think of chopped up, stuffed in a blender with a dose of ridicule and handful of cynicism, and blended at 90 mph. You can practically hear Vanian’s tongue rolling around in his cheek as he sings “just for you, here's a love song.” Like a lot of relationships, "Love Song" is fast and sloppy and hectic and over before you know it. -M


89. Angry Samoans - "Todd Killings"
How can you not love this band? They were able to pack the most offensive lyrics and balls-out fun into songs that rarely lasted more than a minute. So why this 38 second song? Well, "Lights Out" was already done and I have a thing for the name Todd. You figure that out. And really, it’s got a neat little groove going on and singing Killing Time! Todd Killings! is kinda fun and, despite their name, this band was more fun than angry. And hmm..I don’t think they were very Samoan. Though there was a time when I used to call the wrestling duo Wild Samoans the Angry Samoans and that would piss my friends off to no end. Wild, not angry, you idiot! Whatever. I always thought they should all swap names. Because these guys were more wild than angry. Killing Time! Todd Killings! Hey, that’s kinda wild, no? -M

90. Fang - "Money Will Roll Right In"
If you pay any attention to my playlist over there on the sidebar, you probably figure out that I’m a bit obsessed with this song. Here’s the thing about Fang: they aren’t that great musically. Sammytown’s voice is, well, mediocre at best. But something about them hooks me in. In this particular song, Sammy isn’t using the cookie monster voice heard later in on Landshark/Where the Wild Things Are (see "Berkeley Heathen Scum", on the list here), but an almost apathetic, going-through-the-motions voice that once in a while (I’ll be rich as shit) lifts up into something like vague anger. Somehow it works. This tune has a great, rolling guitar riff, biting, cynical lyrics and talks about fucking Brooke Shields. You really can’t go wrong. And they sure left an impression with this one as both Metallica and Nirvana covered it. (I just realized there are three Fang songs on this list. Make of that what you will) -M

91. The Damned - "New Rose"
Hey wait...another Damned song in the same post? Really? Ok. Well, we can do that. New rose. Falling in love. Falling hard. Not understanding anything that's going on but really not caring cause she is on your arm. She left him for you and that's all that matters. Hey guys, falling in love is like that. Sometimes you need to give into the confusion and anxiousness and just say fuck it. It's happening to me and I just have to hold on to her arm and everything will be alright. And it's my new rose. And you got it good. And you always knew that.You always would. You can't stop to mess around. There is a brand new rose in town. -T

jfa.jpg92. J.F.A - "Mad Garden"
Ok enough with the love shit. Let's get down to the ugliness that is....pro wrestling! Not only pro wrestling but pro wrestling in the 60's! Wait wait wait! Not only pro wrestling in the 60's, but also, wait for it, pro wrestling in the 60's at Madison Square Garden! Oh fuck..I think I just came..that was too much for me too think about. Oh well. That's what socks are for. Anyways, this is a tribute to the past and to the great fallen buildings that once held our mighty masters and masked men. Sure it takes some time to get his voice. But you have to understand, sometimes you don't get your way. - T

93. Dr. Know - "Deprogram"
Everyone has their favorite song on the album. Everyone has a memory from this band. And everyone can agree to disagree on the best song on here. But this is my review and my favorite. Deprogram. Paranoid drug obsession while being chased by government agents. Oh fuck yeah. This has nowhere to go but down. From the first riff you can hear this guy has a little bit of paranioa even singing these lyrics. He's got agents on his back, man. He shouldn't even be here singing this, man. Three piece suits, man. They're everywhere, man. And they are out for him.. He is doing you a favor by telling you this tale. Kinda like the X-Files with a drug habit. This song rocks.

*Bonus: Nirvana doing Fang's Money Will Roll Right In
** JFA song courtesy of Punk Vault

June 8, 2006

100 best punk songs 80-87: (sorta) new york edition

The march moves on and the lines get thin. This is almost over guys. This is like the last song of a set where you are covered in sweat just wanting it to end but wanting it to go forward. We are almost there. The full list and the voting will begin the day we all hit 100. Have fun with these and keep yourself set on the goal. Cause the end is fucking coming fast and you better know which one is the best.

80. Dwarves - "Let’s Fuck"
So I’m sitting here thinking about doing a list of the most offensive punk songs. And this immediately comes to mind. And then I think, hey this should be on the 100 list too because really, the Dwarves need to be represented and what better way to do that with a song that has the lyrics I'm made of rubber/You're made of glue/I wanna stick my fucking cock inside of you? I’m planning on using this song to freak out my neighbors next time they bang that fucking basketball in the driveway at 2am. -M

20861.jpg81. Circle Jerks - "Back Against the Wall"
A cool song about defiance and being brought down by the man and the impotence of trying to fight back. Well, when you’re 18 it’s a cool thing to sing about because you have the whole emotion of “yea, dude, right on!” behind it. When you’re 43, it’s a cool song to sing because it reminds you what it was like to be 18 and hear that breaking glass sound for the first time; it lets you feel that fuck you and everything you stand for attitude surge up in your bloodstream again when the song comes on. At least for a minute or two before you realize dinner is burning on the stove and the dog ate your kid’s homework. -M


82. Sick of it All - "Potential for a Fall"
This list is so heavy with west coast bands, I had to get some east side represent going on. This is NY Hardcore. A voice as mean as the South Bronx, music heavy as Hell’s Kitchen. Whatever that means. I’m just trying to make an analogy here. This is part punk, part metal, all aggression. I think it’s about materialism, but really, sometimes it’s just about needing the right kind of music to play when you’re feeling all aggro. -M

83. H2O - "Faster Than the World"
Well yea, you had to see this coming. And hey, another NYC band! A great song about a band being out on the road. Typical H2O speed combined with a catchy riff, and it passes my “is this song repeatable?” test with a 5, meaning I listened to this song five times in a row one day while playing dodge-and-weave with tractor trailers on the Long Island Expressway. And if a song can make someone in a little Mazda feel invincible against those 18 wheelers, then rock on. -M

00002620.jpg 84. Clutch - "Shogun Named Marcus"
Is this metal? Is it punk? What the fuck comes out of Iowa? This is like angry corn farmer music. "I will pick your corn as long as I can stick an ear so deep in you that you will hear Orville Redenbacher's dead voice whispering in your ear" Just saying, whispering,"You did wrong boy. And I hope you enjoy my corn!" This is angry music and I'm not gonna fool you. I have no fucking idea what this meant.

Something about shoguns and taxes and Feds and geishas and corn coming out of your ass like like a god damn explosion of popcorning goodness, knives and sex in a warehouse. With chickens hanging around. Just watching.

But I may be wrong.

But chickens watching you having sex with a Geisha while not paying your taxes is a kinda cool thought.

Or maybe that's just me. -T

(Unumbered) Clutch - Shogun Named Marcus
Listen. I have no idea what he’s talking about with his review of this song. Maybe he doesn’t either. I know he digs it, cause Clutch is sort of how we met, but dude....corn fucking? Seriously? I’m going to do the same song, just so none of you think this is really about Orville Redenbacher porn.

This song is all bass and heaviness and gritty voice singing about ummm...hari kari and emperors and sourmash and new world samurai. It’s got a kick ass groove and the lyrics are fun to sing and/or decipher and it really doesn’t matter what they are saying because, dude, this band - and this song - will kick your ass from here to the fucking cornfields of Iowa and you’ll never know what hit you. But trust me, it won’t be a fucking corn on the cob up your ass. I swear. -M

85. Murphys Law - "Care Bear"
Ok. Now that I'm done fucking around and talking about sticking corn up someone's ass with Orville's ghost floating around, let's get to the shit. This was a song about a party gone wrong and someone just wanting to help. Fucking care bear. I just broke a bottle. I just broke some glass. This fucker moves. New York hardcore at it's best. Float your flags and ink your skin. I don't care. This song was cool.

These guys were fun. All they wanted to do was drink beer, smoke dope and play. Sweat the beer out of you from the night before and wash the memories away with another beer. Cause we are not stopping. Cause you gotta have fun. In the sun. Yeah you gotta have fun! fun! A great song from a band that really didn't give a fuck anymore except about not being able to see straight. And I don't even think they wanted to do that. That's Murphy's Law.
*disclaimer - I know the fun lyrics were from another song -T

cromags.jpg86. Cro Mags - "We Gotta Know" Could anyone understand the lyrics? I couldn't. I know I'm almost deaf and shit, but this was along time ago when I could hear. I couldn't get it. Pre H2O. Pre Sick Of It All. Pre Gorilla Biscucts. Pre CIV. This was shit that went nuts. Or made us nuts. This came out before all the skinhead shit took hold in California. Back when we tried to figure out what gang people were in by their fucking shoelaces on the god damn Doc Martins. Fucking soelaces. I'm fucking colorblind god dammit. Gimmie a fucking break.

Hey kids, this was life. Things happen. Back when I learned that you duck your head a bit when someone is diving on you. Push your head into the back of a bigger guy and let him take it. Fuck man, my inner mouth is cut up with so many lessons of when i was learning. It screams at me to duck when the dog jumps on me night. Still to this day. This was this song. Stand or fall. -T

87. CIV - "Set Your Goals"
Jesus Christ. Another fucking New York hardcore band. Well, I did ask Michele for East Coast bands and really, after you get out of glam and get out of Ramones, hardcore really takes over. You New Yorkers are an angry lot. Hey dude, I grew up on the west coast, so hearing this song kinda made me think, "Man they are pissed off." Basically an inspirational song but an angry one. Fuck. Remind me not to order a pizza next time I'm in New York. The "Double Double Pepperoni with Extra Anger" sounds like too much for me. But it is a cool song that sets off a cool album. Sure it's short, but really man, how much can you take? -T

June 6, 2006

100 best punk songs 71-79

We're getting there kids. Almost done. Stick aroundfor the voting phase, that should be fun. Oh, and new format, the downloads are now linked in the song title.

First up, two from reader Mr. B and W:

71. Social Distortion "Reach for the Sky -"
I was driving around listening to a college alt-rock station, WBRU in Providence R.I. when the dj said they would be playing some new Social D. I got excited and turned up the volume. The song they played was 'Reach For the Sky'. When I heard this song for the 1st time I was totally blown away by it and I have not been able to go a few days without listening to it ever since. The song has a great, aggressive guitar riff, a beat that makes you want to jump around and shove people, and Mike Ness' signature gruff, snarl on vocals, but the best thing about this song is the lyrics. I have never heard lyrics that so encapsulate my outlook on life: '..and I thank the Lord for the love that I have found, and hold you tight cuz tomorrow may never come.' Fuck yeah. That pretty much sums it all up right there.

72. Social Distortion - "Ball and Chain"
Feeling like shit? Can't seem to get out of that funk you're in? Well pour yourself a whiskey and put this song on. It'll either make you want to drink some more or it'll make you say 'fuck this shit' and go out and try do something about whatever is bugging you. Yeah it's got that country feel to it, but so what? It still kicks ass. When I used to tell people who had never heard this song how much I like it, they would laugh, like it was a joke or something. They thought it was a song about a wife or a girlfriend or something, 'the old ball and chain'. This song's not about that at all, it's about dealing with pain and it helped me get through a lot of it once. A great tune.

And some more from us:

73. Youth Brigade - "Sink With California"
I really don't care where you're from. I don't really care what language you speak. And the band isn't really Californians. This is THE big unity song. Fuck all the rest. This was about being together. I'll sink with California. It means nothing to me. This song was about sticking together. This was about anyone, white, black, yellow, or brown, all being the same. The name Californian doesn't mean shit. It's just a label. Shaking your hand is what this song is about. States, nations, everything means nothing anymore. This is about forgeting any kind of fucking line on a fucking map and just getting people for what they are. And accepting them. Cause we don't care if you're from north, south, east or west it's humanity that is the best. (T)

74. D.I. - "Richard Hung Himself"
A lot of older punkers are gonna be so sick of this song, it will bore them to read this review. But really, isn't this the first time you ever wanted to know what subcutaneious meant? And here you are, years later, reading an idiot's review and it's spelled wrong? Gotta be a cool song. A little sad, prolly bullshit, but really the feeling of this song is one of giving up. t's kinda sad cause it happened to a lot of our friends so I'm a little hesistant to say it rocks, but I will. This isn't something that you would yell out of your car window unless you were packed with gin and didn't know the time of day. This wasn't a theme song. Don't get me wrong. This was a cool song about suicide and that is even kinda lame to type......but this song kicks ass. Desperation,failure, death. All in one song. Kinda like a combo meal at McDonalds. Cept instead of a strawberry shake you get a swinging dead junkie. (T)

75. D.R.I - "Busted"
This was a funny song. Or was it funny? I know when I first heard it was funny. We thought it was funny. We didn't know it would become a reality. This whole album was the background music when we were building a halfpipe. When I was a kid and laying down on the grass after putting in a few 2x4's this song would come on. It would get me up. Almost, almost I say, get me back to work. But then I realized it was almost 2 in the morning and I needed a beer. Later in life, this kinda became my theme song. I didn't know it. It was like Johnny Carson with that big fucking hat and the envelope to his head with Ed McMahon asking him "Where is the turtle going to be tonight?" and the Great Carsona replying "Jail!" A great song that just tells you that you can never get away from your past even if you want to. It will be there. The price you pay. (T)

76. Vandals - "The Ballad of Pat Brown" Who was Pat Brown? This was years before I lived in Orange County. Yeah I lived there. Fuck you. Years before I smelled the shit covered streets and felt a sun so hot it forced you to the ocean. Hey, turtle, ocean, beach, get it? Anyways, a look on the intramanet got me Pat Brown as a Mayor or something and I really don't think Mayors would be doing B&E's for Marshall stacks. Hmmmm.Who was he....Pat Brown....why shouldn't I fuck around...hm... Anyways, this song is a great conversation starter. Tell anyone to not fuck around with Pat Brown when they piss you off. More times then not they will think you are crazy or they will shake your hand and sing the next verse. This is original Southern Califonia second wave punk rock. Gah! That hurt my head to think about. Don't ever make me say that again. Way too much thinking there. A great song about someone who was, well, kinda a dick. But a cool song anyways. (T)

77. Steel Pole Bathtub - "Train to Miami"
Surreal, noisy, weird, disturbing, haunting, addicting. The repeated chorus of “these are my friends now” over a staccato bass, the cacophony of sounds in the background, the whispers about church burning and satan, the short scream; it’s what the circus might sound like if you smoked a bowl of crack before entering the big tent. You’d think that putting all these sounds together might make a mess, but this band makes it work. It pulls you in, shakes you up and leaves you with a feeling in the pit of your stomach like you just witnessed someone’s bad acid trip. And you want to see it again. These are my friends now...these are my friends now.... (M)

78. Bouncing Souls - "Ole!"
Yea, there are plenty more Bouncing Souls songs I could have put here. They’re a fun band. They make fun music. And this one is the....funnest? Most fun? Check it out: We’re Bouncing Souls no one can beat us, we drink beer and wear Adidas. That’s hella fun to sing. Couple that with doing a football chant of Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! a whole bunch of times (and add in the “mom this song is annoying the hell out of me” so I turn it up real loud and play it 20 more times factor) and you’ve got a cool party song. Plus, the Bouncing Souls are the best thing to come out of Jersey since the Sugarhill Gang. (M)

79. Jonathan Richman - "Roadrunner"
Is it punk? We called it punk back then (1976) and that’s all that matters. This song is an ode to the road. It starts off with him counting to six. Who counts to six? Four, three, but six? And then he launches into a singing/talking/rambling ride through Massachusetts, all disjointed lyrics and voice like a head cold over this simple punk beat fused with - is that a synthesizer? Keeps saying “with the radio on” and if you close your eyes you feel like you are driving with him in some convertible muscle car on a warm summer night and all you can hear is some cool music coming out of the radio and his fingers drumming on the steering wheel and the wind in your ears. Roadrunner, roadrunner. Going faster miles an hour. (M)

If anyone has the D.I. or Vandals song and can send them over, that would be pretty damn awesome of you.

June 3, 2006

100 best punk songs 65-70

Ok, let's move this along. Six songs from the turtle and michele, marked accordingly.

As always, please send your songs in. We don't really care if you send us in a name and a song. That doesn't help us.

If you want to be in this tell us why you like it. What brought you to this song.

You think that song is so fucking cool?

Then tell us why and you will be on here.

65. SOD - "March of the SOD"
Oh, you knew it was gonna happen. Don't shake your head cause you damn well knew it was coming. This was a song everyone waited for. Waited for on Friday nights when MTV played that stupid music show that featured music bands that played funny things called music videos. I know you are all surprised, but Headbangers Ball was something that was an era ago. Something that when you heard the grind of this song, you knew it was going. Before Carson Daly took over, this is what we waited for. The bullrider, the trainwreck, the opening song. March of the SOD. You could hear it at any party we were at. It was song that meant that every thing you heard in the past was the past. Things were gonna get a bit harder now. (T) download

66. Germs - "Lexicon Devil" This one is for Tesco. I was listening to an old D.I. tune. Something off some album. I remembered sitting in a bar with D.I. and stupidly asking them about that song. "You guys didn't do this did you? Who did it?" Being immediatly shamed by them for not knowing this was the Germs they were covering. That's what made me buy the album. I won't lie. This stuff was way before my time and sometimes I can't understand it. They way Darby sings. I can't hear it. Fuck, I'm almost fucking deaf. Gimmie a fucking break. We have talked about this before. But this song had energy. And it was mean. What was it about? Don't ask me. But I remember two songs and this was one of them. This song moved and surprisingly, Darby could keep up. I wasn't one of those people who wouldn't get a Germs burn but this song was coolio enough to light a cigarette too. (T) download

accusedgrinningtapesml.jpg67. The Accused - "Grinning Like an Undertaker"
Take a kid and put him in a hospital. A punk rock kid who hates speed metal. Is it speed metal? Is it punk? Is it freeform fucking art? I have no fucking clue. Make your own fucking decisions cause I'm turning it up. Anyways take this kid, leave him there with just a Walkman and just this one tape. 24 hours of this tape. Drugs and alcohol (we can talk about alcohol in the hospital in another story). Mix it all together and you have the turtle. By the time I walked out of there I was a full on pissed off, broken, machine. If you get used to Blaine's voice, this shit fucking rocks. It takes about ten times til you kinda get it, and you can call it punk or not, but the Accused move and Blaine holds on. Great stuff from a great band that I'm not even sure are around anymore. (T) download

68. MC5 - "Kick Out the Jams"
So I’m in the car with my 13 year old son, listening to the punk rock station on XM radio and this song comes on. Kick out the jams, motherfucker! Kid says, hey this song sounds old. I said yea, 1969, dude. This is like the original punk rock song. The original punk rock band. He says “they said motherfucker in 1969??” That made me laugh. But hey, he rocked out to the song and immediately hit his Fender when we got home to try and work it out. Over 30 years later and some 13 year old kid is laying down your notes on his guitar and thinking it’s one of the coolest things he ever heard? Rock on. (M) download

69. Husker Du - "Divide and Conquer"
What? Two Husker Du songs and no appearance by anything from Zen Arcade yet? Hey, it's everybody else's favorite album, not mine.

111477.jpg This particular song always got me going when I needed some motivation to get off my ass. I’m not saying it inspired me or anything, but the groove got me up and going when I might have just stayed in bed all day going over my bad life choices. The lyrics are kind of like reading the notes of a drunken conspiracy theorist and the music, well, it moves on and on and on and you keep holding your breath waiting for a hook or an extended fuck you chorus or something but it’s just that cool, winding melody over and over and the occasional “divide and conquer” and finally Mould gives you a bunch of patented la la las which isn’t much of a payoff, but damn that guitar lick kicks some ass. (M) download

70. Misfits - "Bullet"
Yea, more Misfits. Hey, at least it’s not another Minor Threat song, because I could easily go there, too.

How many ways can you offend people in one song? When I heard these lyrics for the first time I could almost hear the collective gasp of middle America. I could see scarf-wearing suburban women fainting in shock, grown men in seersucker suits and military hair cuts banging their fists in anger and demanding death to the Misfits. I mean, my god. Masturbation, eating cum out of your palm, shattered head on concrete - dude this is more offensive than the time when I was working at the record store and put out a display of Dead Kennedys record on November 22. But really, anyone totally appalled at this song only has to watch the Misfits perform it to see it go from tastelessness to, well, campy tastelessness. (M) download

See the complete list in progress here.

Side note:

A lot of you readers have been sending us cool stories about your favorite shows and your experiences at these shows (going back to this post). You didn't just name a time and a date and band, you went all out and told us how you felt and what was going on. Thank you for doing that and for you guys, we will be posting all of them tomorrow. If you want to still get in, tell us your favorite, well fuck, it doesn't have to be you favorite, but a memory from a show. Something you remember, something that made this show different from any other. Gmail it to us, kinda fast cause this thing is going up tomorrow. Any show, any time, any place, any band. Just do it quick.

And thanks guys. This has been fun so far.

100 best punk songs - the up to date list

Hey, turtle is unavailable at the moment and I'm bored. So I've put the work-in-progress list of 100 best punk songs that we have so far in one convenient place, just so you can see at a glance what's there in case you want to send your own songs in to us, or just mock the list or yell at us for what we missed so far or question what we call punk or completely agree with us (I suggest that one) or whatever.

Songs are markes: (T)-turtle (M)-me, (R)-reader entry.

Remember, you can still get in on the list. Just send us your songs along with a short blurb about each. No more than three, please. Contact info in sidebar.

1. SNFU - She's Not On The Menu (T)
2. The Business - Harry May (T)
3. Hellacopters - Fire Fire Fire(T)
4. Rocket From the Crypt - Salt Future (M)
5. Fugazi - Promises (M)
6. Rich Kids on LSD- Scab on My Brain (M)
7. Black Flag - Rats Eyes (T)
8. Fang - Berkeley Heathen Scum (T)
9. Angry Samoans - Lights Out (T)
10. The Clash - Complete Control (M)
11. Exploited - Sex and Violence (M)
12. GBH - Knife Edge (M)
13. Spermbirds - My god rides a skateboard (R)
14. Suicidal Tendencies - Institutionalized (R)
15. Bad Brains - House of suffering (R)
16. Dr. Know - Burn (R)
17. Descendents - Parents (R)
18. Minutemen - Corona (R)
19. MDC - I Remember (T)
20. Husker Du - New Day Rising (M)
21. Radio Birdman - New Race (T)
22. Misfits - Some Kind of Hate (M)
23. DI - Youth In Asia (T)
24. Richard Hell and the Voidoids - Blank Generation (M)
25. BGK - Youth For Crime (T)
26. 7 Seconds - Remains to Be Seen (M)
27. Minor Threat - Salad Days (M)
28. Sham 69 - Sunday Morning Nightmare (T)
29. Dead Kennedys - Holiday in Cambodia (R)
30. The Stooges - Search and Destroy (R)
31. The Clash - London's Burning (R)
32. Ramones - Beat on the Brat (R)
33. Jim Carroll Band - People Who Died (R)
34. Sex Pistols - God Save the Queen (R)
35. Circle Jerks - Live Fast, Die Young (M)
36. NoMeansNo - Big Dick (T)
37. Feederz - Games (R)
38. Negative Approach - Evacuate (R)
39. Clash - White Man in Hammersmith Palais (R)
40. Swingin Utters - Derailer (T)
41. The Explosion -No Revolution (T)
42. Strung Out - Ultimate Devotion (M)
43. TSOL - Code Blue (M)
44. Fang - An Invitation [to a Suicide] (R)
45. Noh Mercy - Caucasian Guilt (R)
46. Christian Death: Dogs (R)
47. Flipper: Life (R)
48. Bad Brains - Banned in DC (R)
49. The Dicks - No Fuckin' War (R)
50. Fear - Gimmie Some Action (T)
51. Butt Trumpett - I'm Ugly And I Don't Know Why (T)
52. Down By Law - 1944 (T)
53. The Jam - Down in the Tube Station at Midnight (M)
54. Refused - New Noise (M)
55. Minor Threat - It Follows (M)
56. The Bags - We Will Bury You (R)
57. Dicks - Dicks Hate the Police (R)
58. Buzzcocks - Fast Cars (R)
59. Rancid - Sidekick (M)
60. Operation Ivy - Sound System (M)
61. Dead Milkmen - Bitchin’ Camaro (M)
62. Turbonegro - Don't Say Motherfucker, Motherfucker (T)
63. New Bomb Turks - I Want My Baby...Dead? (T)
64. Subhumans - Susan (T)
65. SOD - March of the SOD (T)
66. Germs - Lexicon Devil (T)
67. The Accused - Grinning Like an Undertaker (T)
68. MC5 - Kick Out the Jams (M)
69. Husker Du - Divide and Conquer (M)
70. Misfits - Bullet (M)


Links to the lists are in the sidebar in case you want the downloads, or want to read the explanation of why each song was chosen. Also, don't forget there's going to be a huge poll thing going on at the end and we're gonna place these fuckers in some kind of order.

June 2, 2006

100 best punk songs: 55-64

Moving right along. You want your three songs on the list, gotta email us with the songs and a little something about each. Not like "this song rocks" something. More like "this song rocks because I got laid to it" something.

First up, we got three from Scott of the fabulous Strange Reaction

56. The Bags - "We Will Bury You"
Though they were best known by me and most of my friends through the first Decline of Western Civilation movie, I also knew this song from a cassette my brother had that was played repeatedly in my house during 1981 or so. Personally, I didn't care for The Bags circa the Decline period, but this song is still one of those that made me love punk music. Sadly underappreciated by too many. download

57. Dicks - "Dicks Hate the Police"
From the beginning lines of "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" this song just kicks all sorts of ass. This is one of the best singles of all time, never mind the genre. download

58. Buzzcocks - "Fast Cars"
If you're doing a music list and adding the Buzzcocks, chances are Orgasm Addict will be the pick. If I was doing and English punk compilation and was limited to one song, I'd pick Fast Cars. The Buzzcocks are one of my favorite bands of any time and Fast Cars in particular has ended up on more mixed tapes/CD's I've made than almost any other song. download

And now, three more from us.


59. Rancid - "Sidekick"
This one appeals to the comic book lover in me. Because I first heard this song and thought hell, yea. Vigilante’s sidekick. That’s kinda cool. Runnin’ around town in our superhero suits, one of us with a V and one with an S (for sidekick, of course) and we’d be gunning down bad guys like some punk rock Milk and Cheese and..hey....I think he’s talking about soup kitchens and feeding the poor, or maybe the big bad wolf huffing and puffing and going 187 on a motherfucking cop..oh hell, I don’t know, I just know that someday I’m gonna write a comic book and it will start out by saying “My name is Tim and I’m a lesser known character.” -M download

60. Operation Ivy - "Sound System"
Dude, this song makes me happy. I mean, almost all the songs I’ve written about so far are drenched in alcohol and drug memories and lots of young adult angst and overwrought emotions. But this song. This makes me fucking happy. It’s about creating something, turning words into song, making those words come to life, taking a thought you have in your head, making something of it, and it’s not yours anymore because you’ve put it out there and gave it to everyone. And it’s about being fucking happy, not giving in to the shit around you and just living in the moment. Well, that’s what I get out of it anyhow. box in my hand music by my side. skanking to the rhythm of the music by my side. Yea, dude. [disclaimer: I do not skank, have never skanked, will never, ever skank. Though I have been called a skank] - M download

61. Dead Milkmen - "Bitchin’ Camaro"
Hey, you can’t have a great punk song list without this. The first time I heard it this I was thinking, hey this whole fake banter thing is kinda clever, and then hey, they are bagging on the Doors and...dude! I fucking saw Crystal Ship at least a dozen times, man. They’re totally making fun of me! And I was all set to hate them and then the song really kicks in and by the time I got to “Tony Orlando and Dawn” I was hooked on the song and on the Milkmen. I’m drunk on unleaded!

And yea, I really saw Crystal Ship. A lot. Fuck you. I was young. -M download

62. Turbonegro - "Don't Say Motherfucker, Motherfucker"
I have no clue what this song is about. I woke up and heard this while passed out on a sofa. The words were like "Toliet bowls and puppies and motherfuckers?" I must have missed that. It had been a long night and I'm fucking half deaf. Put that thing on again and get me a beer cause we need to get what he is saying. Second play. "Toliet bowls and rubbing a dogs face in the dirt?" What the fuck is he saying? Third play. "Kick the sand in our face?" What the fuck? This is a song that grabs you and tells you it will fucking beat you if you don't like it. Love it to Deathpunk. -T download

63. New Bomb Turks - "I Want My Baby...Dead?"
Let's pick up the pace here. A song that you DON'T want to play at a sorority house. Even if you think it's the coolest thing you ever heard, explaining this to a bunch of girls in sweats is fucking hard. "He doesn't really mean he wants his girl dead, he is just sick of her. I don't want to explain this again." Hey dude, I'm not bagging on sorority chicks, but ...well yes I am. Dude, the song fucking rocks and lets you in on a little bit of inside information. Sometimes girlfriends don't rock and sometimes you feel you are better of alone. Meh. It happens. -T download

64. Subhumans Time Cover.jpgSubhumans - "Susan"
This might not be your favorite Subhumans song. You might not even call it punk rock. But to this day I still know the lyrics. This song always came up in my head when I saw someone who just wanted out. Trust me. A lot of people in my life wanted out and were just forced to keep going. But, they just wanted out. This tells you off a story of one girl who wanted out years before but couldn't go. A weird, dark song about her just wanting to die but staying alive just for others to smile, but in the end giving up. A really sad song about a girl who was forgotten in the end. -T download

update: the link to the turbo song has been fixed.

May 30, 2006

100 best punk songs 50-55

And now, six from us, marked accordingly. Turtle is kinda feeling sick today so stick with him, this is the best he has.

50. Fear - Gimmie Some Action
A band that walks out and tells you they will walk out if you spit on them, then does walk off has got to be pretty cool. Lee Ving would come out, for each show, insult the crowd, then spit on the crowd, then jump into this song. It made entire floors turn into pits. It really didn't matter where you were at on the floor. If you were standing , you were in it. Surprise motherfucker. Didn't think you would get this did you? Get fucking used to it or go to the bar. This is the way it was gonna be for the next three minutes and if you don't like it, their is a Coors Lite waiting for you at the pussy bar. Take your Silver Bullet and sit at the side cause this is punk rock.This is a song that has balls hanging down to its god damn knees. And please don't ask me what that means, cause I don't even know. - T download

butt.jpg51. Butt Trumpett - I'm Ugly And I Don't Know Why This might be more of a song for girls or guys with low esteem. Hell, it was a song for everyone really. Who in the world has never had their love taken away. Then fucking insulted in the playground. Then got so angry they shoved a peanut up someones ass. Don't fucking take my love and insult me. One is bad enough. Two means you get your fucking ass kicked. Hey dude, it happens. Bianca sounds so fucking angry in this song you just wanna grab a beer and watch the cat fight that gonna happen and place bets on whose gonna win. Great song....and I bet Bianca beat shit out of the chick and she was farting Jiffy Spread for the next two weeks. -T download

52. Down By Law - 1944
Anyone familiar with the California scene knows what they are talking about and who they are talking about and where they there were talking about. l had a personal feeling for this song. Always trying your best and always hitting the end of some critic's crap. Being disliked by some critic? That critic disliking you so much when he's never felt the sweat drip on to your bass while you're playing til you can't see straight? Playing til you are dizzy? Bagging on me? Fuck him. It's easy to sit and create words on a page, but when you look down on the floor and see people having fun together, it's different. It stops being about divisions. It starts being about having fun and wasn't this what it was about? Having fun? Not what others thought because we gave all that shit up along time ago. Just having fun. -T download


53. The Jam - Down in the Tube Station at Midnight
The first time I heard this song - about a guy trying to get home from work to his wife but gets jacked by some thugs in the a subway station, was the first time I fell in love with The Jam. It was Weller’s ability to tell a complete, chilling story here, combined with the perfect pace of the song; rise and fall, slow and frenzied, giving the whole thing an air of drama, that made see this band for everything they were. The build up as the guy is laying there, beaten and describing his what he sees as he's on the floor dying, (The last thing that I saw As I lay there on the floor Was jesus saves painted by an atheist nutter) and then the lines “I glanced back on my life and thought about my wife cause they took the keys - and she’ll think its me.” That stayed with me. Haunted me. I still to this day - over 20 years later - get that same gut-punch feeling when I listen to this. That, kids, is what turns a good song into a great song. - M download

refused.jpg54. Refused - New Noise
The first time I heard this song, I was watching (what the hell was the name of that metal show on the old Much Music?) tv late at night and they showed this video. Some dorks in suits come out on a stage. Oh what the fuck is this shit they’re playing now? And then the opening riff and I thought, hmmm...sounds promising. Then the drums kick in, then the bass kicks in and then it slows down....yea, I’m digging this but where’s this going, and then.........CAN I SCREAM? Whoa, dude. Whoa. The rest of the song kicked my ass. I had been half asleep when it started and by the time the dude was screaming We’re not....leading, I was off the couch, adrenaline kicked in, and on the computer looking up shit about this band. Swedish hardcore punk? Right on. They may look like rejects from an Ed Sullivan repeat, but they fucking kicked my ass. Shape of Punk to Come is one of my favorite albums ever. - M download

55. Minor Threat - It Follows
Yea, fuck you. I’m doing another Minor Threat song. It’s my list, I can do what I want.
This song is relentless. From that opening bass to the last “It followed me” and the breathless vocals, you really get the sense of someone just trying to get the fuck away from a life they no longer want. Somehow that life keeps chasing you and following you and just when you think you are moving fast enough to not turn your head and see it behind you, it’s still breathing down your neck. And even at the end, when the whistling kicks in and you feel like yea, I got away, I’ll just hide behind this corner and it won’t find me, you know the whistling is just fake bravado and what you were running from is still going to find you and fuck you up. -M download

This list is rolling along pretty damn fast. Get your shit in here fast cause this list is dripping like a candle in a bad Danzig video and if you want to get left in the back, light a cigarrete and forget about it 'cause we are gonna forget about you. Contact us (email on the side bar) and tell us yours. Not just song titles. Feelings. Get it?

100 best punk songs: 44-49

Another reader generated list, this time from the lovely and talented Jessica of Peace Dividend.

44. Fang - An Invitation [to a Suicide]
This is what the Berkeley Heathen Jailbait would sing while drunkenly strutting Kearny Ave. en route the alley that abutted The Mab/On Broadway buildings – the alley in which Sammytown "caught you lookin my way," where he "started thinking and started dreaming," where his "dick got hard and started creaming."

It wasn't pretty, and it was nowhere near romantic except for the killing himself part, but it was OK if it meant we didn't have to go home to our parents. download


45. Noh Mercy - Caucasian Guilt

The Meatmen later covered this 7" gem, thus proving the universality of proto-Reagan-Thatcher lipstick angst. "I don't need no caucasian guilt / I'm ready for a brand new race / We're concerned with the way you move / not the arrangement of your face.' We know you are, Meatmen. We know. download

cd.jpg46. Christian Death: Dogs

The scene in SF was vital and genre-crossing, and saw many bands mutate from hardcore to goth to glam to peace punk to ska to reggae to metal often more than once a halflife, if the members survived. The end came for Rozz, my friend and across-the-lightwell-neighbor, after someone tried to take Christian Death commercial. Dogs is grade-A pure unadulterated deathrock. To those of us of a certain age, every lust-fueled stalking bassline, every sinewy snake-tongued lick, every surging keyboard chord since then sounds a little like the toll of a mourning bell. "Just like cannibals: we must be starving." download


47. Flipper: Life

"The only thing worth living for," though I suspected (between the weekly EMT visits, upstairs at Mission A, and the daily calming of a toddler in the flat around the corner) that for some there were other, less healthful, enticements. Flipper played way-beyond-capacity crowds that sometimes dwindled down to bartenders and a soundguy as Sex Bomb headed into its second hour, and they always made sure the little girls didn't get into too much trouble. Whatever your poison – drugs, sex, or propaganda, and whether they ruled, or sucked, or both – Flipper was fucking art. download

48. Bad Brains - Banned in DC

This is the song that could save you on those nights that was otherwise not quite worth living. Skinheads burned down your squat? Reagan sure to be re-elected? No one understands your too-young-for-a-work-permit angst? Bad Brains feels your pain, and makes art from it. So buck up. download


49. The Dicks - No Fuckin' War

They started the great punk rock migration from Austin, TX to the Vats, SF, followed closely by DRI and MDC, who together with locals Crucifix changed the world (my corner of it, at least) with the Rock Against Reagan tour. Dicks shows drew deathrockers and peace punks, rastas and skinheads, bears and Barbie Strap-On Mohicans, and we'd all raise our fists and shout along together. With a queer buddhist singer, a beautiful junkie bassist, and a bad-assed babe on drums, they could be summarized as "We're San Francisco, and we vote." download

Thanks, Jessica. Stay tuned for more on the list tonight, as we have some of our own coming up.

See previous posts on how to get your favorites on the list.

May 28, 2006

100 best punk songs 37-43

Moving right along, we've got three from a reader and four from us.

First up, Tesco's three:

37. Feederz - Games
"You're beautiful to me as we burn down schools and factories..." How can't you love this? Truly a peice of Punk greatness. Even the sleeve of the album, covered in sandpaper assuring any surrounding album in the pile gets ruined. You don't get more Punk than that. Download




38. Negative Approach - Evacuate
I'm constantly amazed by the greatness that comes out of Detroit, this band is no exception. Massive hardcore, way more powerful than anything else in 1981. This song, damn, this whole album will always be one of my top five.Download





39. Clash - White Man in Hammersmith Palais
This song, hands down is THE BEST Punk tune ever done, so obviously Michele and Turtle are not doing these in order. ;) This was the tune that made the Clash my all time favorite Punk band... the lyrics, the music, the slight reverb on Strummers voice while he tells it like it was, and still is. Download

And four from us (marked accordingly):

sut.jpg40. Swingin Utters - Derailer
Ok. Some of you guys are gonna hate this for seperate reasons. And I've heard them all before. They went to Fat, they changed their style, and they try too hard to sound like an English band. Well hey, hell that's all true. A band from San Francisco does sound pretty lame singing about the Queen while they were living in SF. Actually it's kinda funny if you think about it. But this song was really about conformity and how bad you get beat when you move off the track.You better learn to get fucked. And you better get used to it. Cause you're a needy person. -T download


exp.jpg41. The Explosion -No Revolution
Really fucking angry shit that cut down to the core of what I was feeling when I first heard it. Something that was gnawing at me. Someting that I thought I was all alone in feeling. But they felt it too. They felt the same. Let's smash it all and start again. We started this shit and we are tired of you guys letting it fall. This song brought back to life a dying man on the street with songs about fun and, well, basically, insulting us for letting this slip through our fingers. It just made me feel happy that I wasn't alone. -T download



strung.jpg42. Strung Out - Ultimate Devotion
Fast-paced, dark and desperate, this is not your parent’s love song. It’s an ode to submissiveness or a plea for domination, depending on your point of view. In some ways it reminds me of that stalker-like, clingy love that you get in high school when you try to break up with a guy and he says he’d kill himself if you did and two days later he comes to school with his skin all red and blistery cause he tried to burn himself to death under the sun lamp in his parents’ bathroom. Or maybe that’s just me. -M download


tsol.jpg43. TSOL - Code Blue
Is it really a song about fucking the dead or is it more like a statement on how much girls suck? Either way it’s got fun lyrics (And I don't even care how she died...But I like it better if she smells of formaldehyde!). And really, even if you’re not into necrophilia or bitching about what a prude your girl is, this song has such a great groove you’ll find yourself moving along to it. And so what if you accidently put it on a party mix and play it real loud while your neighbors are having a family outing in their backyard. Like they never heard the phrase “I wanna fuck the dead” before. I’m pretty sure that’s what that douche bag who mows the lawn listening to disco and wearing a fanny pack thinks every time he looks at his pasty, dishrag of a wife. -M download


Notes:

Hey, if you're coming here from punknews.org, the song lists are all linked in the sidebar, and yea, we are looking for your input. And just so you know, We aren't asking for any order yet. The deal is we are making a list of reader inputs. When we hit 100, we will put a poll scrip up and let all you guys vote on what you think is the best and list them the next day.

If you want to get included in a future post on this list, telling us your favorite song doesn't really do a hell of a lot for us. We want your feelings when you first heard it, first got drunk and sang it. Look ate the previous entries and use that as a format for what we are looking for. Don't go crazy but read those and get a feel for what we wanna do with this. Put a few minutes of work into why it's such a cool song. email us at fttw10@gmail,com


And if you are coming here from proteinwisdom, the car porn is all linked on the sidebar, too.

May 27, 2006

100 best punk songs 29-36

On the subject of reader additions to the list - turtle mentioned earlier in the week that we don't want the list filled with just a couple of bands, so we are kinda limiting what goes in. So if we pick and choose from what you send us, that's why. And thanks for what you do send. You can still get in on the list, just use the contact info on the sidebar and send us 1-3 songs you think should be on the top 100, with a short blurb about each, in the style we've been doing.

Today looks like an old school day. Real old school.


First, two from Cullen Half a Pica Distance

29. Holiday in Cambodia, Dead Kennedys
One of the first punk songs I ever heard that proved to me that some punk guitarists actually knew how to play. Politics aside, DK has always had a powerful sound and Jello had a vicious wit to match. Holiday in Cambodia catures everything good about this band without getting terribly cheesy. download


30. Search and Destroy, The Stooges: I don't think there's much debate that The Stooges are the first real punk band. The created the sound that launched the New York Dolls who in turn launched The Sex Pistols and inspired The Ramones. Search and Destroy shows us the angry, anti-hippy angst that was bleeding out of the Motor City. download

Two from Solonor:

31. The Clash - London's Burning
As unfashionable as it seems to be (maybe it's just me), the Clash are my second favorite punk band. The opening of this song is classic. Joe Strummer screams, the guitar and drums pound out a fanfare, and we're off. The lyrics aren't much for much, compared to other songs, but I just change "London's burning with boredom now!" to "Bangor's burning with boredom now!" and go on with my little teenage angsty life. download

32. Ramones - Beat on the Brat
"Blitzkrieg Bop" kicked off the revolution with a "Hey! Ho! Let's Go!", but this one is more typical of what appeals to me with the Ramones. It works on so many levels at once, and it's the blueprint for most of their future songs. You can use it when you're angry. You can laugh at it (they don't really mean it...right?). You can take it as autobiographical (kinda like "sittin' here in Queens, eatin' refried beans, gulping down thorazines...") Plus, it rocks the hell out. download

Two from Andrew

33. Jim Carroll Band - People Who Died
All great cultures honor their dead. The punk subculture is no exception. [This song] is a celebration of Jim Carroll's many friends who died on the mean streets of New York. The gritty reallities of their tragic deaths is celebrate - and mourned -- with a solid rock backbeat. No maudlin dirges for Jim Carroll and his band. This song is a pure celebration of his friends' short, tragic lives. download

34. Sex Pistols - God Save the Queen
The Pistols created quite a stir when they performed this song on a cruise ship on the Thames during the Jubilee Celebration. While the British press was all wrapped up in the fanfare of the Queen's Jubilee and celebration the nation's glorious past, the punks, led by the Sex Pistols, were turning their backs to the pomp and declaring independence from the celebrated past. The Sex Pistols commentary was expressed in a phrase that became the rallying cry of punks in '77: "no future." download


And one from each of us:

35. Circle Jerks - Live Fast, Die Young
Talk about anthems. I was 18 when this song came out. When you’re 18 you fluctuate between feeling like you are gonna live forever and feeling like you want to die. Those two things kind of lend themselves to each other when you spend every night doing some sort of damage to your body and your brain cells and your life expectancy, and you really just don’t give a fuck about growing old and you sit around talking about how much getting older sucks and what is the point when the world is going to shit anyhow so you sit outside the bar in your car wondering if you are too drunk or stoned to drive and you pop Group Sex into the cassette player and you spend the next hour screaming live fast, die young and you think, hell yea. That’s what I’m gonna do. Live fast, die young. We see how that worked out. - M download

36. NoMeansNo - Big Dick - Wanna call them punk? hm. Well they had a punk following. Does that count? Make your own call. I don't fucking know. They influenced alot of punk bands. Does that count? Hm. I don't know. But I guess you can call them punk, or not. I don't really care. This song was on a great album that basically changed the way alot of people thought about punk rock. From guitarist and vocalist driven to bass drive. It changed alot of things we were doing. We never thought about things like that. They had a new style and a new approach. "You could rule a set with a bass? Really? Really?" This band started making people think that bass players weren't the background anymore. They were up front. And they had issues. - T download

And as an extra added bonus for you, the Richard Cheese verison of Holiday in Cambodia

May 26, 2006

100 best punk songs 19-28

Side note: No, I have no idea why the sidebar on IE runs at the bottom of the page and no, I don't know how to fix it.

First things first. We figured out that if we are going to figure in all the songs you send us for the list (see previous posts for info on doing that), we are gonna run up to 100 pretty quick and we won't get much of our own in. Yea, 100 songs sounds like a lot to come up with, but that's 50 each and we can both do that without even reaching too far into our record collections. So what we're gonna do is alternate days - today we will put up five each of ours, tomorrow we'll do six of yours. So here's ten from us for today, marked by author accordingly.


19. MDC - I Remember
Ok. This song made you think that maybe your life wasn't so bad. That someone had it worse then you. That someone was angrier then you and more pissed off then you. That no matter how punk you thought you were, someone is always behind you going "Hey dude, you think you saw the shit? Lemmie buy you a beer and tell you my story." A serious what the fuck song from some SF transplants that makes you think. It's a time to remember and a time to forget. Nothing I can do but get away. Good stuff. -T download

20. Husker Du - New Day Rising
This song is like fifty hits of speed shoved into your veins with a needle that's been dipped in pure adrenaline. It's fucking primal scream therapy. It's stomping on the ground and shaking your head and kicking the wall and maybe taking a chunk of plaster out of the spot behind your bedroom door and you really don't fucking care, you are just ripping shit off your walls and throwing books and empty beer cans around and screaming along with the song - and I mean throat tearing, from the bottom of your stomach sreaming - which you play 43 times in a row until a neighbor bangs on the window and asks if you are ok and you are like. Fuck yea, I'm ok. I'm better than ok. Cathartic. - M download

21. Radio Birdman - New Race
gah! i knew someone would say that and I'd have to kick my ass for losing that album. Australian punk rock. Really, basically the only thing Australia had at the time. They came out of nowhere and they were gone before I could work a telephone. This is a great song that, well, fuck, now I need to get the album again. Just real, cool punk that kicks with simple clean no distortion licks that kinda rocks. Well fuck that. It rocks. If you've never heard Radio Birdman, download some of their stuff. It's one of the only cool things to come out of Australia since Crocodile Dundee.....I knew someone was gonna say that song, dammit. And now I'm out fifteen bucks on the cd. -T download

22. Misfits - Some Kind of Hate
I'm trying to narrow my Misfits songs down and damn, it's hard. But I think out of all of them, this one best exemplifies Danzig's penchant for masturbating with his own voice. You won't get this kind of "I'm a real singer, damn it, listen to me croooooooon" again until much later on (when he was solo) with You and Me (Less Than Zero). And I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing. Danzig was at his best when he was making sweet love to himself. Plus, you gotta dig the whole Phil Spector type music, as if the Ronnettes were gonna suddenly bust out with maggots in the eye of love won't copulate. -M download


23. DI - Youth In Asia
What the hell was with this song? Youth in Asia? What the fuck? It took me like 15 times listening to it to get it. Youth in Asia? It moves you but you try to figure out the title...what does he mean. Asian land war? Then you slowly get it or, like me, it hits you in the face like a cast iron skillet and you feel like the dumbest son of a bitch on the block since Goober rolled into Mayberry. Pull the plug let me die youth in asia wave bye bye. Hey. I never said I was that smart. In fact I'm feeling pretty stupid right now remembering when it hit me. Don't laugh dammit. It happens. But awesome song that has a weird title until you say it fast. Kinda clever. Maybe stupid. You make the call. I like it - T download

24. Richard Hell and the Voidoids - Blank Generation
One of the first "punk" songs I ever heard. Had to be on WNEW FM, which is where I heard most of this music first. I heard this and Love Comes in Spurts and I was like, what the hell is this? Who the hell is this? I found a blank cassette tape and threw it into my stereo and just sat around and waited and waited for them to play the song again so I could hit record. When I finally got it on tape, I sat there and analyzed it, pressing stop and pause and play over and over again trying to figure out what about the song made me feel like there was something subversive and dangerous and rebellious about his voice, something that made me want to go and hang out in a dark alley and smoke cigarettes and bitch about the man. -M download

25. BGK - Youth For Crime
A Dutch band who hated the British scene. Somehow they got signed to AT for some weird reason. Still not sure about that and about their name. B.G.K., or Balthasar Gerards Kommando. hm. Anyways the song. Seriously. This song is an orgasm. It walks up the fret then blasts you with vocals. Like a tease at a strip show that you just pray for her to stop so either you can go home and masturbate or get another beer. But it doesn't quit. It's not done. It just walks. Youth for crime. He keeps yelling the top of the fret. Youth for crime. Keeps yelling.This tape lived with me for years and every time I listened to it I prayed for that last track. - T download

26. 7 Seconds - Remains to Be Seen
Listen to my story! That's the way the song kicks in and then it's just a relentless barrage of words and music until the Misfits-like -whoa-whoa break lets you breathe for a second before it kicks again and by the time it's all over you have carpal tunnel syndrome from drumming on your steering wheel and it's left you more breathless than your last orgasm. -M download

27. Minor Threat - Salad Days
Almost everyone who has added to this list has a favorite Minor Threat song. So I'm gonna get mine up here first. Because I can. The slow start, the build up, the anticipation because you know the song is gonna kick any second and then MacKaye starts in half singing, half talking in that frenzied way - and that's one of the things I aways dug most about Minor Threat, is the way his vocals make it seem like you're sitting in a bar with him and he's just going off about something (and this is also true of why I love Fugazi and, on a different but same tanget, 7 Seconds). And listening to Salad Days you know it's the last thing they did, so you sing along with the lyrics in a wistful kind of way but you think, what a hell of a way to go out. - M download {i like this song so much, it's replaced the old place]


28. Sham 69 - Sunday Morning Nightmare -
The only reason I really like this song a lot is because when you hear calls of unity and all that other crap for an hour then a song about getting into fight, throwing up on your clothes and yelling at your sister is fun. Don't get me wrong. I love all sham, but this one has to be favorite. It's so "fuck you, get out of my way" it's kinda cute. I know saying that this is my favorite is going to bring alot of backlash, but that kids are united stuff was way before me and was in another country so it didn't really effect me. Or maybe I just didn't care then. idunno. I was more intune with beating up your sisters boyfriend for wearing your clothes. Plus they talked funny! -T download


Hey, if you see we are missing an mp3 and you happen to have that particular song to share, send it on over! fttw10@gmail.com

Thank you to tesco and scott for once again coming through on the obscure mp3s.

May 25, 2006

100 punk songs, 13-18: reader's choice

So we decided this would be a collaborative effort. If you would like your choices included in the final list, please use the contact info on the side to email 1-3 songs, with a one or two sentence blurb on each, like turtle and I have been doing. Or, you could use the comments. Either way works for us.

And, we will be back later with the bitchin' car of the night.

First up with 14-16, Kali of Kaliporina Sux.

14. spermbirds - my god rides a skateboard
i found punk rock at the half-pipe. i'll never forgive myself for being such a fucking girl and not picking up a board myself, but i used to sit around and fantasize about the skaters. being the skaters, not fucking them (which is mostly what i opted to do - hey, it came more naturally to me than skating!) download

15.

suicidal tendencies - institutionalized
the first time i heard the "what're you tryin' to say, i'm crazy?" speech, i knew i was punk rock. i had found my voice through mike muir. and i rode the angst train all the way to the station.

download

16. bad brains - house of suffering
man this band kicked everybody's ass. when i heard this song eminating from a stereo i knew it was going to be a good party. i mean anyone can sit through the intro and i against i, but when they let it play through to house of suffering you pretty much knew they were going to play the whole album. download

-Kali

17-19 belong to Pril

17. Dr. Know - Burn
This song still just socks me in the gut every time i hear it. The weird droning guitar and the machine gun drums, you can't hardly even hear the bass in it he's nailin it down so solid with the drums. And then remembering that this is Eddy singing, who's father had a courtship... i always loved the dorky little horn bit at the end. download



18. Descendents - Parents
Has a really fantastic bass line. I always figured this song said it all about being a teenager, even when i was a teenager. Music to get chased out of the 7-11 parking lot to while swigging your ill-gotten Mickey's Hornets. download



19. Minutemen - Corona
You've heard this, your parents and your kids have probably heard it. It's the theme from Jackass. I never got to see these guys live, but i would have loved to have seen them do this song. It's cowpunk from pedro. Makes you want to stomp and holler. Three dudes who didn't even know you could tune guitars... made some of the most unusual, kickass OG Flannel liquid pollution from the harbor army base livin punk rock. download

- Pril

I'll get the music to go with these up in a bit. 19 down and 81 to go. Hey, I did the math in my head!

100 punk rock songs: 7-12

Hey, we're getting there. 12 down, 80something to go. Don't make me do math in my head, ok?

7-9 are turtle's, 10-12 are mine.

7. Black Flag - Rats Eyes - A song that was definetly at the end of their career. Something in it. Something. I don't know what, grabbed me. It was slow and it was angry and it just sounded like we were done, but no matter what they saw and the shit you pulled they would always be there watching. Cause they stopped sleeping and they stopped caring way before you inhaled your first gasp of air. They were done before you started and now they just watched from the shadows and waited.

8. Fang - Berkeley Heathen Scum - A song I liked cause it was in a scene I was in. This was punk rock. This was being in a town where you were hated by hippy bongloads and college students at the same time. Saying to them 'hey dude, fuck you, I'm tired of your shit and you are all bothering me so go fucking away." The song rocks and the words are out of it, but I still had a good time listening to it. download

9. Angry Samoans - Lights Out - Hey dude. Theres not much to say on this song except to quote them. "We weren't the best but we rocked the hardest." Jesus, dude. What the fuck was with these guys? A band from LA in the LA scene who fucking didn't care about anything but breaking things. While others were singing about love on a couch they were singing about poking your eyes out with a fork. I'm telling you, this song rocks. *Disclaimer* This blog has no responsiblity if you poke your eyes out with a fork. download


10. The Clash - Complete Control
It was snotty brit punk. It was rock and roll. It was part Chuck Berry, part Sex Pistols, and all 'fuck you' anthem. Singing c-o-n—trol while Strummer yells over your voice is something that never gets old. download

11. Exploited - Sex and Violence
sexandviolence sexandviolence sexandviolence sexandviolence.......singing this song while sitting in some dirty club waiting for your favorite local punk band to come on, drinking cheap two for one beers and slamming back a shot of 151 for each beer and everyone pounding their fists on the bar singing sexandviolence sexandviolence sexandviolence sexandviolence. Yea. That’s what I’m talking about. download

12. GBH - Knife Edge
Whenever I talk about GBH, I have to start off by saying that they were a much better band than people give them credit for. Ok, got that out of the way. This song was made for the pit. The starts and stops, the breakneck pace, the winding guitar, the machine gun delivery of the lyrics, and then the drop, it’s like the band was giving you a break, letting you catch your breath before they kicked back in and you had to get your feet moving all over again. Livin’ my life on the edge of a knife. Kick ass stuff. download


Keep those suggestions coming. You've already come up with some kick ass songs we've forgotten all about. And here's a new thing: If you'd like to get your three songs up here in a post, just send an email (contact info on sidebar) with the three songs and a sentence or two about each, in the format we've been doing. Do that, and we'll put your choices up here with ours.

Also, we will be doing a car tonight. Got a suggestion for one? We're listening.

May 24, 2006

you realize, of course, that this means war
top 100 punk songs of f.t.t.w.: the beginning

Thanks to everyone, and I mean everyone who has followed us over here. This is the new and improved blog. Faster Then The World. Same thing same look same feel. As Always, emails for ideas are always asked for. Keep them coming.

Tonight we have decided on a new feature. We ask you to weigh in.

We want to make a top 100 punk songs list for Faster Then The World. Please don't say Emerson Lake and Palmer songs or anything about "fire on the montain" at the Dead show in '78. This is punk and hardcore and maybe indies.

All of us will have a nice big fight about the order when we hit 100 and figure out what ranking they get.

But what we need from you now is suggestions. I, the turtle, have done alot of drugs in my life and my memory is shot, so any suggestions or recommendations aree greatly appreciated. Hey dude, I paid a price for what I did now we need you to help.

We start with six tonight - three each - In no particular order.

This is just the start. You will help us get to the finish. Wanna play?

Turtle's picks:

SNFU - She's Not On The Menu - What can you say about this song? This song moves. When you listen to it you get the feeling that Chi Pig has seen this shit before and will see it again. And even though he has to watch this happening it doesn't mean he's happy about it. His feeling comes out in this song. This was a song about something I take to heart. Treating people like shit just cause you can. And thats all fucked up. Plus it's got a cowbell in it! download

The Business - Harry May - My first exposure to the Business. These were fun songs, but really not. Do you know what I mean? It was always fun to chant the chorus but the verse was about killing people. I was at a bar during World Cup and they kept this song on constantly. This wasn't the first time I heard it but I was surprised how many UK fans, young and old, knew this song like the back of their hand. Great song that will get you ready for World Cup '06. Plus, dude, they talk funny like. "arry arry arry may!" download

Hellacopters -Fire Fire Fire - Frustration and anger and fast cars and fast women and fast beer. I'm not sure about the fast beer part. The garage sound on this song really moves you. "Working all day won't give me a buzz, so I set it for a six pack and a fast car. OH YEAH!" This line is a thing of beauty. Barely able to hear the screams as Dregen rips thru it like a hot knife through butter. Great song about hating where you are at and just wanting to get away. download

And just a note on that, we are gonna have some music related World Cup coverage here soon!

For my first three songs, I just went with my three most played songs on my Last Fm thing for this week. I have this tendency to obsess.

Rocket From the Crypt - Salt Future It’s one of those songs that you can’t just have on, you don’t just listen to it - you have to sing it. And I mean sing. Loud. Like you mean it. Even if you don’t know the words you just make them up as you go along and then sing real loud on the parts you do know and who knows what the fuck a salt future is or why it’s rising, but god damn this is some good drunken barroom singalong music and I’m gonna belt this out like I mean it. download

Fugazi - Promises Another song you just have to sing, but this one you belt out with the windows in the car rolled up instead of down because your voice may crack on a word or two. The pickup right before he starts in with the “Go where you think you want to go” verse, the promises/words exchange at the end, the way the anger beneath the lyrics comes out as frustration in his voice - it all makes for one of those songs I shouldn’t listen to a lot, but I can’t help doing it anyhow. download

Rich Kids on LSD- Scab on My Brain - This song is awesome. It’s fast and loud and obnoxious and, if you do it right, your throat should hurt when you are done singing. And really, having the words SCAB ON MY BRAIN! burst forth from your speakers as your kids’ friends are hanging out in your kitchen is just icing. download


That's just the start. Wanna play?

May 21, 2006

Death Comes Ripping on a Sunday

Misfits_logo.jpgSimple question for the evening. What's your favorite Misfits song? We posed the question to ourselves and some other bloggers who will weigh in later (we'll add as we get). Feel free to play along.

Mine first. You have no idea how hard this was. I had to leave off Angelfuck and Hate Breeders. That killed me.

Where Eagles Dare - Why? Besides the awesome refrain, you get to sing a line like "an omelette of disease awaits your noontime meal." download

Halloween - My favorite holiday, my favorite time of year and this song gets the imagery just right: brown leafed vertigo, I remember Halloween. Plus you got the whole burning bodies hanging from poles thing. download

Some Kind of Hate - because only Danzig can make the lyrics "The maggots in the eye of love wont copulate" sound like a love song. download

Turtle's:

She - I liked this because if was about a girl with a machine gun. Hey dude. Tits and guns. Tits and guns dude. Guns and tits!! This song was gold before it was even put to wax. download

Devil Lock - Was this a song about their hair? I mean even though they looked stupid this song moved.download

Earth A.D. - A new venture and a new tone by the Misfits. Dumping the Goth-punk to becone Deathpunk on the first track. Pretty cool. download

Update: Tesco sends his favorites:

Misfits - All Hell Breaks Loose: I know its not all that glamorous but this tune is early hardcore at its finest. A perfect blend of simple rhythm, cut time drums and a pit sparking chorus. Perfection.

Msifits - Green Hell The best off the second real full legnth, so much so that even Metallica destroyed covered it.

Misfits - Death Comes Ripping : This is the first song that comes to my mind when someone brings up the Misfits - excellent tune. No new hard-rock, metalcore, neopunk band can even get close to this.


Scott from Strange Reaction adds his:

Night of the Living Dead - This sums up early Misfits to me. It has the obligatory "whoaoh" chorus and it's about zombies, what more can you ask from a Misfits song?

Earth A.D. - The best of their thrash period. Starts with a nice bit of feedback and then just jumps to life at a hundred miles an hour..

Bullet - Take the Kennedy assassination and mix filthy lyrics with Jackie O = winner!

May 19, 2006

Best Punk Albums of the 90's
1990: Meh

Unlike the 80's, we're going to take on the 90's year by year (and we may yet go back and revisit the 80's that way). We start, obviously, with 1990, which had a real dearth of good punk albums. Tesco will be joining us later with his picks for this year; feel free to add your own.

1990


dwarves.jpg
Dwarves - Blood Guts & Pussy
Any album that kicks with a less than one minute song about getting fucked in a car has got to be good. The Dwarves were something to behold. A great album that makes you want to break things. Plus a midget covered in blood is fucking a rabbit on the cover. That's cool.


mtx1.jpg
Mr. T Experience - Making Things With Light
Combines all the great things about pop music with all the perfect things about punk. It's like doing a square dance in a pit. Everyone is going to look at you like you're nuts, but eventually they'll join in the fun
MTX - Velveeta



breeders.jpg
Breeders - Pod
The intial offering of a post Pixies Kim Deal offered up a wide range of music styles. When I bought it I was surprised at the difference between her music writing and Frank Black's. But the big difference was Donelly. She had big tits. So it rated an A+ for a kid who never had seen a girl naked.




steelpole.jpg
Steel Pole Bathtub - Tulip
Tulip was album that shook your teeth. In fact it kinda did mine. This album was on when I walked down the stairs and was knocked in the face by the sound. Its so raw and so "What the fuck is this?" that it deserved the attention of my front tooth that was sucked out by the power. Don't chew gum and listen to this cd at the same time.




opivy.jpg
Operation Ivy - Energy
Hearing this was the least of my worries. Seeing them was the greatest. Drunk at the Gilman on a Saturday night hearing "Sound sytem gonna bring me back up!" was something that couldn't be placed on vinyl. But, they did a pretty good job transfering energy to wax.
Op Ivy - Sound System




fugazi.jpg
Fugazi - 13 Songs
This album was the mold off of which every alternative record after it was shaped.. On first listen you might tilt your head and say “what the fuck is this?” but then you listen again. And again. And again. And you get it. It reaches in and grabs your gut and pulls. 16 years later, it still has a hold on me.
Fugazi - Promises




[music selections will be added this afternoon]

And that's about all we came up with for 1990; we were even stretching it by including The Breeders. Who knows, we might add one or two as the day goes on. Think we missed something? Tell us about it. For the record, both Social Distortion and Bad Religion had albums this year, but did not make the cut for either of us. Your mileage may, of course, vary.

I just noticed that RegnYouth had a post about Pod up yesterday.

Side notes: Strange Reaction has been added to the recommended reading list, and my Turbonegro post is up at 100 Records today.

May 18, 2006

music to be subversive to:
best punk albums of the 80's

Compiled by both myself and my co-blogger the turtle, a list of the best punk albums of the 80's, one for each year, annotated accordingly. Your opinion may vary. In fact, we’re quite sure it does.


dk1.jpg
1980

The Dead Kennedys - Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables
The shock of the Sex Pistols had worn off and the Ramones were too likeable, so this album became the official music to shock my parents with. I really thought mom would get a kick out of Viva Las Vegas.
Viva Las Vegas (mp3)


ado.jpg1981

Adolescents s/t
This was a great album. Raw stupid and dumb. But songs like "I hate children" still run in the background of my head today. When you see a little kid in a store just screaming at his mom...I Hate Children automatically pops in your head.
I Hate Children (mp3)



mdc22.jpg1982

MDC s/t
Take about ten hits of speed, mix it with a gallon of anger and a pound of pissed off adrenaline and then light it all on fire and stand in the flames. That’s how this album feels.
I Remember (mp3)



mt1.jpg1983

Minor Threat - Out Of Step
What can you say? The definition of an era. They broke a scene by building it back up. It wasn't so much the music as the lyrics that changed me. Cause aren't we all out of step with the world?
It Follows (mp3)


snfus.jpg1984
SNFU - And No One Else Wanted To Play
Driving to a ditch to skate. Hearing "She's Not on the Menu" wondering who the fuck this band is while screwing down your trucks is something that hits you. This album is classic in all ways. Plus Chi Pig brings toys on stage! You can't fucking beat that.
She's Not on the Menu (mp3)


7s.jpg1985

7 Seconds - Walk Together Rock Together
Taken from the same folds as Minor Threat, the unity yells and unite calls were something a scene needed at that time. Great album with a great message - if we can't stand together, we will fall apart. Plus it fucking rocks.
Remains to be Seen (mp3)

bb1.jpg1986

Bad Brains - I Against I
I was working in a record store and this semi-stupid guy I worked with said he was going to put on the new Bad Manners album for us to listen to and I was like, meh quirky ska, who needs it? But what he put on was this album and I remember when it was over saying it was the music listening equivalent of multiple orgasms.
I Against I (mp3)



rkl1.jpg1987

RKL - Rock and Roll Nightmare
Great dudes. Although one might say they are the Iron Maiden of punk rock. This record brought fun back into punk. Made you laugh and think which is a rarity in punk.
Beautiful Feeling (mp3)



st1.jpg1988

Suicidal Tendencies - How Can I Laugh Tommorow When I Can Even Smile Today
This album made me alternately feel like I wanted to kill myself or slam a random stranger in the face with the bottom of my doc marten. I never did either, but I still have plenty of time and this album on vinyl.
How Can I Laugh (mp3



nmn1.jpg1989

NoMeansNo - Wrong
Two words.....Big Dick.
Get it?
Big Dick (mp3)


No matter what you think of each album, you can't deny that it had some impact on either your life or someone else's life. 'Cause if it didn't, fuck, we wouldn't be doing it. Have fun and feel free to add your owns because we aren't perfect.

Also considered: GBH (CIty Baby's Revenge); Misfits (Walk Among Us); Descendents (Milo Goes to College); Circle Jerks (Group Sex); Fear (The Record); X (Los Angeles); Black Flag (Damaged)

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