Back to FTTW
Your almost nightly dose of Turtle and Michele. Whatever is on our minds, is on the site. For better or worse. This is something we have been doing since FTTW started, before it was a collaborative site. It's the one thing we have kept on from the first days of FTTW. We really enjoy writing these together and we hope you enjoy reading them.
So It's Only Been A Year?
Doin' Time on Brushy Mountain
Great Turtle Race, The Great End
The Great Turtle Race
I'm Bored Part 3
Good Morning Campers!
Donkey Kong Wears Nipple Clamps
There's Gold In Them Thar Hills
So Long, Farewell
Group LNT Goes Vroooooooom
I Can't Drive 55
Guilty As Charged
Gimme a Bottle of Anything. And A Glazed Donut. To Go.
I Can't Feel My Balls
Pretty Sneaky, Sis!
As Funny As A Slap in the Face
"Tiny Bubbles?" Again?!
Deadlines Suck, Man
John Carpenter and Zuni Spirits
I Want To Be Anywhere But Here
I Got The Workin' Man Blues
It's Been That Many?
We Can't Be That Old!
I Don't Believe That Happened
It's Morning Already? Group LNT Time!
FTTW: Behind the Scenes
I Think I'll Eat Some Worms And Die
Pine Cones Go in Here, Party Liquors Comes Out Here
What's Playing - Staff Selections
Best of LNT - Tribute to the AMC Pacer
And To All A Good Night
Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot
Don't Feed The Animals
Gave Me A Black Eye, Tore Up My Levi
Story Time By the Yule Log
I Love the Smell of Wrapping Paper in the Morning
In The Spirit of the Season
What's On: Kung-Fu and Mexican Dinosaurs
Word Association Time: Santa
Of Bugs and Men
The Nog And The Cookies
I Can't Believe 2005 Is Already Over. Wait, What?
2006: The Year That East Met West
You Want Me To Put What Where?
There Are Starving Kids in China
You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!
where's my flying car?
The Shopping Maul
We Watched Too Much TV
Fake or Real?
Please Don't Say 'Freebird'
The First Thanksgiving - A Retelling
We're Magically Delicious
Now That Is Comedy
That Class Sucked
Just Somethings We Enjoy
God Damn That Was Funny
Sometimes the Good Die Young...And Sometimes They Just Won't Die
It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Slow And Steady Wins The Race
Motel Hotel Holiday Inn
Turtle Tracking, Neil Diamond and David Cassidy
You Other Brothers Can't Deny
An Action Figure Thanksgiving
Of Valentines, Infidelity and Felt Frogs
There's No Going Back, No Going Home
But I Thought It Looked Cool
It's Cold Tonight
But I'm Lactose Intolerant!
But It's Got a Great Personality
The Sweet Stuff
Cult of Personality
The Price is Right, Bitch!
You Can Eat Pancakes All Night Long....
The Spirits of High School
Michele and Turtle Get Inked
The World Bores You When You're Cool
Dust Covered Memories
Another State of Mind
Just Another Day. Or is it?
A Hand Up His Ass And a Smile on Your Face
Sally Field is Out of Order!
You Are Wearing That?
We Thought It Was White Boy Day
You Know Elvis Can Eat A Whole Turkey
Do It For Johnny
My Entire Team Sucks
One froggy night
Crawling From the Wreckage
This Means Meatwad is Sleeping With the Fishes
Breaking Down is Hard to Do
It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature
FTTW Fight Club
Young kid memories
Yo Ho Hos!
I Got You, Babe
Musical Secrets of FTTW
Cars of the Night: We Love it When a Plan Comes Together
Don't lie to us. We know you are in on this.
comfort foods: why i ever left this place, i still dont know
Movies and Music. Sometimes It's Just Funny
space sex: the final frontier
Ouch. That Hurts.......
Sweating Til You Bleed - Best Live Album
explosions and explorers
Stupidest Lyrics Challenge - Big in Japan
Skate and destroy.. Fuck the Cops
i'd kill castro for one of these
true story, i swear
mickey and mexican hats
Happy birthday, Kali!....and buy our products
breaking up is hard to do
A slice of the pie
Cigars, Catfights and Card games
This is your life
board games and bored nights
Reply hazy, try again
now that the statute of limitations is over...
new york and del taco
revenge is sweet and so are you
Fishin' and giggin'
tastes just like chicken, they say
Sundays with friends and family
Turning on the Happy Switch
welcome to friday night
get off my lawn
I'm on a fastfood diet
we just got tired of cleaning our windshield
We are just having fun here
that song sucks. like, really sucks.
let's get ready to rumble
Toys and a tick
vacation tales: madness and mad magazine
FTTW Reader's Choice: We Had to Have It
New York State of Mind
Of Tigers and rats...and wor wonton soup
easy like a sunday morning breakfast
A Little Goes A Long Way
You fucked up! You trusted us!
1978: You Make Me Feel Like Dancing
Disney Disaster or just another day?
story of the years: mice and heat
duct tape and red dawn: what's in your box?
Leave the gun. Take the cannolis. What movies came out when you were born?
sugar shakes and superheros
grim grinning ghosts
fuck the afterlife, did you bring extra soy?
bathtub experiments and other adventures in bad booze
What you didn't know about snack cakes
East v. West: Fast Food Fight!
Seeing Life Through The Bottom of a Boones Farm Wine Bottle
Why the turtle?
Missiles and Mayhem
who came from where you came from?
Special When Lit
broken knees and burned dogs
roller coasters, blood and extra onions. Welcome to america, motherfucker!
4th of July - Sometimes You Get Burned
fun with milk and cheese!
first shows: cows, creem and bras
video games: hookers and high scores
musical interlude II: we love the ingalls!
our favorite tv moments: sex, puberty and sex
gimme friction baby*
Our Moving Tribute to Aaron Spelling
dude, check it out. skateboarding.
and you thought your dad was badass
pocketful of quarters
Drug Wars: Mescaline v. LSD in Steel Cage Match!