Paul, atomic scientist and ace test pilot, was born to poor sharecroppers in western Kansas during a harsh winter that saw starvation and vicious raids by savage Canadians. The only known survivor from the Battle of the Alamo, Paul can split the atom with his bare hands and knows the secret location the aliens who crashed at Roswell, NM. They live at a small ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming and enjoy frequent visits from celebrities like Harrison Ford and Dick Cheney. Their wine, fermented and bottled on site, is one of the most sought after vintages in the world.
After leaving the small town behind for life in the big city, Paul went on a nationwide tour to promote tooth decay and a self-help program. He charged thousands of dollars to tell indigent families that he was both the question and the answer they were looking for. Paul? Paul. The Church of Scientology has called his practices shameful and deceptive.
Paul cannot be stopped by conventional means. He must be contained within an electro-magnetic field, then pulverized by millions of tiny metal balls until he is a fine powder. Then you must snort him into your nose and allow your digestive acid to completely consume him. 24 hours later, you will then excrete what remains of him into a plastic baggie and bury it under a full moon with a potato.
If you can't do that, the least you can do is head over to Danger West and say hello.
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