Sins of the Father
This has been a pretty crazy couple of weeks in my house. It all started 2 weeks ago when my husband traveled to PA to pick up some fireworks to bring to our Annual 4th of July Party that we have in New Hampshire. He has gone to PA for the past few years to get these fireworks, brought them back to NY until we go to NH for the holiday. Well, this year was a little different. This year he was followed from PA straight into NY where he was pulled over and arrested and charged with the Possession of Fireworks. You see, it is illegal to transport/posses fireworks in the state of New York. This of course is something that we all know but never really thought that we would get in trouble for it. Well, after spending the night in jail, completely horrified by what he encountered there (and he was just in the holding cell all night), and now having to deal with court appearances, we will not be bringing fireworks to NH this year - or any other year for that matter! We did not tell our son that Daddy was in jail, although he did ask where Daddy was when he didn't come home. "Daddy's car broke down and Mommy has to go get him..." He's 5 so this worked fine...and when the fireworks didn't come home with Daddy we just said that we would buy them in New Hampshire. We decided not to tell our son about the jail thing because we knew he would have been scared and upset. Either that or he would have laughed in his fathers face which probably would have been worse!
This entire experience got me thinking about the things in our lives that we keep from our children. You know the things I'm talking about. The stupid things we did as teens (drinking, drugs, sneaking out, etc.), the lies we tell others, stealing office supplies from work to use at home, breaking the law, etc. I can remember when I was a teenager, suddenly realizing that my parents probably had done things that were bad when they were younger - the same things that I was attempting to get away with. When I asked my mom about some of them she told me that she would tell me everything she had done, after I got married. What a strange answer!! After I was married I approached the subject again and she told me everything! I was horrified and then understood why she wouldn't tell me as a young teen! She didn't want me to respect her any less then I already did, as a teenage girl usually does to her mom. Now that I have my own children I am beginning to understand this more and more. I want my children to respect me damn it! My question is, what things do we keep from our children to protect them, and what do we keep from our children to protect ourselves? What things do we just trust they will figure out on their own. We want to protect our children and would never want them to do things that are wrong, but deep down we know that they probably will and probably should just experience it on their own! We raise our children with the hope that they will make responsible choices and to be able to cope with the consequences of the un-responsible choices they make. Do we do our children a disservice by keeping our transgressions from them? Would telling them the stupid things we did keep them from making the same mistakes - doubt it! Would telling them bring us down a notch in their eyes? Would we lose our hold over them as well as their respect? I would hate to hear from my son that he tried drugs because he knew I had and therefore it must be ok! These are the things that keep me up at night. How about you? Chime in on this subject cause I am completely unsure - although my kids are only 5 and 2 so I have some time to figure it out, and I doubt I ever will!
I came home that afternoon to some beautiful flowers, a "correct" card (I must say at this point that the front was exactly like the first card but was for a first time Mom this time...hubby did grab the wrong card but it doesn't excuse him from underlining words on a card that HE DIDN'T READ), naughty under-things (which is just so appropriate for Mother's Day) and a very sorry husband. I will NEVER forget that Mother's Day and he won't either.
Yesterday, I wanted to drive right past the driveway, down the block, out of town and clear out of the state. I wanted to never come back, never look back, and never be a mom again. I wanted to drive until the car ran out of gas. I wanted to cry. I didn't want to give another bath, wipe another butt, make another peanut butter sandwich or hear another whiney voice call me mommy. It was just one of those days. I really don't have them too often but when I do it kind of freaks me out. I was wondering all day what I would be doing if I didn't have to get home to the kids. Would my husband and I still be married? Would I be gettin' my groove on with the hottie from work? Would I be out with the girls, trying to get my groove on with some other hottie? Am I still a hottie? Would I not worry so much about finances? I hate when I feel this way, but yet I think (and hope!) that it is normal to have these kind of days....as long as I don't act on them!
My kids are a little different. My son still lies on the bed motionless and let’ me get him dressed in the morning. I know he can dress himself, I’ve seen him do it on numerous occasions. He just would rather not. He also would let me feed him and wipe his ass if I wanted to - which I don’t! He is ambitious with some things but I wouldn’t call him “independent.” 
Well, Christmas came and went with not too much craziness. 
I asked him about his stomach and he looked at me like he had no idea when I was talking about. 
For instance, David and Goliath. David has his name changed to "the little dude" and the Giant is "that big mean guy." Noah turns into "that old boat man." Jonah was swallowed by a dinosaur, Samson had long hair on his legs, and when God created the world he also made monster trucks. I love that he is learning these stories and usually don't correct him. Hey, he knows them better than most so why should I change how he remembers it? 
Today let’s talk about “naughty” words. Specifically “naughty” words that the little cherubs start to use at a very young age. 
He comes home from the babysitter one day and says, “Miss Evelyn says that God doesn’t like Dammit." I guess he is using it at daycare too! We try to explain to him that it is not a nice word to use and he, with all the innocence of his age says, “you say it too. Mommy.”
The aftermath of pooping in the tub is not pretty, not pretty at all!!!! Hopefully you have already soaped up and rinsed your child, if not you have to start the entire bath process all over because your child is now attempting to catch the poop while still making bubbles in the now contaminated water! If you haven't pretty much finished, you then have to grab the wet, slippery, wriggling child who is now protesting loudly, "no out mama" and then try to towel them off before they go running naked through the house dripping wet.