Ten Quick Questions: Uberchief and Ted Rhobe Rae.
by Turtle Jones

Tonight we have decided on running a new feature. This will get pretty populated with more people and more answers. Right now we have decided, since this is the first week, that before bringing out celebrities and that kinda crap, we get you all familar with some of our writers.

The idea was simple. Find someone and ask them these ten questions. Just to see what they say.

Tonight we have two of our writers, or it's maybe just one, but please welcome Uber and Ted Rhobe Rae.

And welcome to 10 questions.

Uber's answers:

1. Who are you? Just a guy working in San Antonio who loves to write, drink beer, battle mental illness and personal demons, and try to enjoy life.

2. Zombies - undead monstosity or the next logical step in human evolution ? Next logical step. In our lifetimes, I think we'll see a zombie in the White House, zombies winning Oscars, and zombie milkmen.

3. Young Elvis or Fat Elvis? Whichever one has the coolest jumpsuits.2ep_04.jpg


4. If you were a superhero, what would your name be? Uberchief.

5. You are the last man on earth, and it is your job to perpetuate the human race, whether you like it or not. Your choice of potential mates is between Wonder Woman, the Bionic Woman, Super Girl or Hilary Clinton. Which one do you choose? Fucking Hilary Clinton. You know that bitch likes it nasty.

Or: You are the last woman on earth, and it is your job to perpetuate the human race, whether you like it or not. Your choice of potential mates: Batman, Superman, Wolverine or Stephen Hawking. Which one do you choose?

6. What was your first car? 1986 Toyota minivan.

7. If you were going to show me around your city/town, where's the first place you would take me? The Alamo. It's a lot more interesting than you'd think.

8. What's the last album you bought? A Healthy Distrust by Sage Francis

9. Do you have an arch enemy? Would you like one? Irritable bowel syndrome.

10 What's the title of the movie they are going to make about your teenage years? How to be Lame and Paint Dungeons and Dragons Figurines: A Primer

Ted Rhobe Rae's answers:

1. Who are you? Ted Rhobe Rae, Editor in Chief of Dysentery Weekly.

2. Zombies - undead monstosity or the next logical step in human evolution ? I'm sick of hearing about zombies. Fucking zombies always the topic of conversation. Why aren't we more concerned about wolfmen or vampires? Fucking slow-ass zombies can get taken out with a well-placed shotgun blast. But wolfmen and vampires require special weapons. Do you have a silver bullet or a sharpened wooden stake just laying around in case one of these assholes gets in your house? I didn't fucking think so.

3. Young Elvis or Fat Elvis? Fat Elvis--better drugs, more fun to party with.

4. If you were a superhero, what would your name be? Captain Methadone.

5. You are the last man on earth, and it is your job to perpetuate the human race, whether you like it or not. Your choice of potential mates is between Wonder Woman, the Bionic Woman, Super Girl or Hilary Clinton. Which one do you choose? Hilary Clinton--I'd love to put one right in the small of her back.topmast_hillary.jpg

Or: You are the last woman on earth, and it is your job to perpetuate the human race, whether you like it or not. Your choice of potential mates: Batman, Superman, Wolverine or Stephen Hawking. Which one do you choose?

6. What was your first car? A 1976 Camaro I stole from an old folks' home.

7. If you were going to show me around your city/town, where's the first place you would take me? Shakey's Bar.

8. What's the last album you bought? The Soundtrack to Car Wash, the Movie

9. Do you have an arch enemy? Would you like one? My landlord.

10 What's the title of the movie they are going to make about your teenage years? Truck Stop Whores

So that's the first installment of Ten Quick Questions. Hope you enjoyed it and you never know who will be up next cause we have fingers all over the world.

Think you're interesting? Chances are we will, too. If you want to participate in Ten Quick Questions (whether you want to answer them or know someone interesting who will), just shoot us an email.

Comments

Ted,

I've considered purchasing the soundtrack to Car Wash. Please tell me that it only contains songs FROM the movie. I refuse to buy soundtracks with "music inspired by" the movie. Fucking cop-out motherfuckers.

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