Jealousy – that green monster that quietly waits for an opportunity and then strikes without warning.

I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here by saying that we’ve all experienced jealousy at some point. Whether it’s directed at us or it comes from us.

By in large I don’t think I’m a jealous person. Seriously; I’ve had boyfriends who’ve accused me of not caring about them because I didn’t get upset when they went out with the boys. I trusted them and they weren’t used to a girlfriend who didn’t need to know where they were 24/7. God, I don’t want people knowing where *I* am all the time, why would I want the responsibility of knowing where *they* are – Tell your mother, not me… (maybe this is why I’m single? THAT’s another post *eyeroll*)

For me a relationship is all about trust. Without trust there is nothing to build on. I didn’t need to know where they were going (even when, on one memorable occasion, one told me that he was going to a strip club – I gave him a twenty and told him to buy himself a lap dance. The look of shock was priceless. His friends told me later that he had been a total “doofus” the entire night, as if he was afraid to do anything… Heh). Long story short, I trusted them and knew that they were coming home to me.

Pretty naïve eh? Some proved that my trust was justified; some trampled that trust until it was no more than broken bits of tissue paper dancing in the wind. I should also point out that I am not bitter about this; okay – not ENTIRELY bitter.

I believe that every person who comes into your life does so with a purpose, to teach you something, to learn something from you. It doesn’t mean that you should take things at face value, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t stand up for yourself when you need to; it means that everyday life holds new meaning and wonder, if you just listen for the message the universe is sending you.

The pragmatic part of me looks at the above paragraph and wonders what crack that side of my brain is smoking, but it will still see the lessons when it needs to.

I was going to talk about professional jealousy, but I have never really felt it. I am genuinely happy (or, in some cases, ecstatic) for the writers that I know who have had success in the publishing business. It’s not to say that I don’t wish it was me in their shoes, but I know that it’s up to me to get to the place where they are. That I have to do the hard work that goes into completing a manuscript and sending it out in the big cruel world.

They’ve done it. They’re reaping the rewards of hard work and I just don’t see how I can be jealous of that. Their success spurs me towards my own. To quote the crazy yelling man on the bus this morning "You sows what you reaps Missy. You sows what you reaps!" Thanks for sharing, lesson learned.

So do your worst! It only makes me work harder… Too bad I can’t seem to apply this to keeping my office tidy…

The cräic-o-meter is currently at 99 and rising. Heh – Deb wrote rising… Archives

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