The Leftovers
by Bonnie MeyerRosa

pepto.jpgWell, Christmas came and went with not too much craziness.

We traveled all over the Northeast from New Hampshire to Albany and encountered relatives with all sort of colds and viruses. Christmas left us with some nice memories, a year's worth of pine needles in my carpet, 1,000 miles on the car and a slew of diseases.

From stomach virus to rashes, bronchial coughs and rotten ear infections, these past few weeks have been a test of patience, the strength of over-the-counter medications, and our sewer lines.

It sucks when the kids are sick. There is really no other word for it. I thought it would get better as they get older but it doesn’t. As babies, they really don’t understand what’s going on and they just cry and whine a lot until the Motrin hits. But the big ones, they really know how to milk it and have it drawn out for as long as possible - at least Monday through Friday.

For the first time ever, I was duped by my son. He woke up Monday morning complaining of a stomach ache. We all have had minor stomach bugs so I knew it was coming. Earlier in the year I received a call from school that PJ had thrown up ALL OVER the kindergarten classroom and I needed to come get him immediately. I had visions of this again when he was complaining about his tummy so I had no problem keeping him home...until around 11 o’clock when he was bouncing all over the house and having a grand ol’ time.

hottoddy.jpgI asked him about his stomach and he looked at me like he had no idea when I was talking about.

“What stomach ache Mom?”

Damn.

When I asked him why he lied about his ailments he told me that he didn’t want to go to school because the lion costume I made him for Circus Day was ugly.

“That’s why my tummy hurt, the lion hat looks like, well, not a lion”.

Now it's my turn to take some medication. Someone send some sort of big horse pill to make the pain of my shattered dreams of being the crafty, artsy mom who makes her own costumes go away. It’s my turn to be sick. My turn to have someone take care of me. My turn to be tucked into bed, with a warm drink and some medicine. My turn to stay home from school.

I can do without the rash though - thanks!

Bonnie's favorite "warm drink" on sick days includes Rum as a main ingredient

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Comments

My kids have played me a few times already and they are only 4. Usually they get a stomach ache when there are green-beans on their plate.

For Christmas this year we got a 'great' surprise. After we took the tree down we discovered our carpet was growing mold on it because of some water that spilled when watering the tree... That will be our last real tree by the way.

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For the first time, the other day, the baby told me he didn't like what he was wearing. He kept telling me that his shirt was "Ugly!" over and over again, as he pulled at it in a attempt to get it off. It would have been funny if he hadn't insisted on wearing it a half hour before.

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My article for next week is about kids and their independence...gotta love it but it drives me mad sometimes when my 2 year old insists on getting dressed by herself and she just isn't coordinated enough yet to do it! I'm usually dressing her as were flying out of the door in the morning!

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I don't know why but I find these stories about sick kids to be really funny. That sounds terrible but, you know.
Their honesty, their lies... reminds me of me.

Mommy I can't stop the poop

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