Robot Breasts Bring Pain!
by Kory Schaubhut

Kory is still on vacation this week. Or moving. Or going into the witness protection program. Either way, he left us some nifty stuff about robots.

The Giant Warrior Robots, known as "Tetsujin Lobo Force" in Japan, were a royal family that in the remote past protected the Planet Eris against evil Giant Monsters. They were a family of three, with the Blue Pilot as the father, the Red Pilot as the mother, and the Gold Pilot as the Son.

Actually, they were somewhat misnamed as their battlesuits weren't really "robots" capable of autonomous action, but instead vehicles that required pilots. The suits themselves were based on Green Knight technology from earlier generations.

Each member of the team wore a different color uniform so that the audience could tell
them apart.

Their series lasted for 36 episodes, each of which essentially had the same story.

They went like this:

On Evil Planet, the evil Blue Skinned King called on his witch to create a horrible giant monster to attack Planet Eris. She created a giant monster and the King sent it to attack.

Blue-Pilot-Running.gif Yellow-Pilot-Running.gif

Meanwhile on Planet Eris, some quirk of fate made it so that the Robot Pilots didn't have access to their Robots. For example, they accidentally locked the keys inside them. So the Giant Monster would rampage across the planet destroying things until finally a locksmith showed up, jimmied open the Robots' cockpits, and then presented the Royal Family with an exorbitant bill. Then the Pilots climbed into their Robots and we saw stock footage of them emerging from the water to kick monster ass.

Next the Robots battled the monster, who had the upper hand at first, until the Robots used one of their special attacks that always destroyed monsters easily. Why the Robots didn't just use this 100% effective attack at the beginning of the fight is one of life's eternal mysteries.

Each member of the team wore a different color uniform so that the audience could tell them apart. The Blue Robot and Gold Robot had different heads for the same reason.


The Many Ways That A Robot's Breasts Can Bring Pain

For me, the highlight of the show was always when the Red Robot got to deliver the coup de grace attack against the Giant Monster, because her technique almost always involved using her breasts as offensive weapons.

Here are some of the attacks that she used throughout the series. Unfortunately the names of the attacks were usually censored in the American release of the series.

Boobie Blast!
Boobie Beat-Down!
Bazonga Barrage!
Rack Smack!
Tittie Twister!
Tornado Tatas!
Tit for Tat!
Mammary Missiles!
The Melon Massacre
The Knocker Shocker
The Funbag Drag
The Jug Slug
The Lovely Little Lump Thump
Udder Destruction



i think i had a toy like that as a kid.

my brother had the blue one, I think.

What's cooler is that I think I had the chick one. The red robot. No wonder my head is so fucked up. I was shooting booby bombs since i was about 7.


is anyone else turned on by the robotittays?

or is that just me?


No man, a little bit.

Right click, save as.....


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