Earworms. God, I hate those horrible hell-spawned bitch goddesses. No, not the bugs, you twits. Those songs. The melodies. The riffs. Those things that just get stuck in your head and won't. get. out. I'm more susceptible to these than most people I know.

There are a few of them that are particularly bad for me.

Pantera - Domination

Whenever I hear the first riff of that song, I'm fucked. I can't get that song out of my head for days. It's already been there for like 2 weeks. I can't help it. It's. So. Fucking. Catchy. I'm not even that big a Pantera fan.

In Flames - Zombie, Inc.

Like most of my earworms, it's not even the whole song. I could handle that. This is like when Cartman hears any part of "Come Sail Away" he has to sing the whole thing. Yeah. This particular earworm is the breakdown about 2:20 into the song. I will back up and listen to this part of the song over and over. The rest of the song is mediocre, but that solo is beautiful. It's haunting.

Strapping Young Lad - You Suck

"Even your girlfriend fuckin sucks!" "Hell yeah, she fuckin sucks!" How can you argue with lyrics like that. It's 3 minutes of fun heavy stuff, and it never ceases to amaze me how fast Gene Hoglan can drum, despite the fact that he's like 400 lbs.

Peter Mulvey - If Love is Not Enough

I love some music that isn't metal, and Mulvey's definitely my favorite non-metal artist. The song is so good I'm just going to post the lyrics. Go find it. It'll be worth your while, but be careful ... you may be trapped.

How many should haves, how many should have nots
How many I wish we hads lie between us?
For two basically well intentioned people it seems to me Our failures just demean us
Is it lack of self regard?
It should not be this hard
I want to know, I want to know, I want to know

If love is not enough then what's enough? can you hear me?
I'm sick of the burns I've got on my body from all the perfectly good loves exploding near me
What else can I say? what else can I say?
If love is not enough then we will go on loving anyway

Now, you gotta know how to get rid of them. The first move is tricky, and can cause you significant pain, but it's very effective. Simply start singing a more irritating / catchy song, and you will be clear of the demon in no time, but you may be possessed by the new hell in exchange. You can also try getting it stuck in someone else's head, but you need a few things to happen, specifically:

1) someone who is susceptible to earworms
2) someone who knows the offending song
3) someone weaker than you, cause you may get your ass beat.

At this point, my brain has completely shut down, so I'll challenge you all. I dare you to get a song stuck in my head. I DARE YOU. And I'll be honest, and tell you if you succeed.

Baby Huey will probably regret that challenge later.

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