I love introducing new players to D&D, sort of like a crack dealer of the tabletop gaming world. With new players, adventuring actually is an adventure. Longtime gamers see a group of kobolds and cast sleep on the entire group of low hit die creatures. They see a grick and pull out their magical weapons. Long-time gamers even have Pavlovian responses to the appearance of a hex grid.

But new players? You can go so far as to say "roll initiative" in front of them and nothing happens.

Stick and I convinced our neighbors Hugo and Diana that Dungeons & Dragons would be an awesome way to spend a Saturday. Hugo and Diana were really the main reason we moved to this complex. It's like a sitcom about classicists trying to maintain jobs, except those two are so cool that I'm a little afraid that it's Stick and me who are the wacky neighbors, and they're the protagonists.

Stick explained the basics, higher numbers are better. Roll a 20-sided die for everything... except when you don't. Get used to the acronyms. And try not to get killed. Hugo is a computer gamer, so he kept referring to his life meter... you know, that stat we usually call "hit points".

I was a little annoyed that Stick didn't give me the Staff Of Reveal Plot, or the Bracelet of Protection From Everything. As the GM's girlfriend, I really should get something like that. But that's OK, I'll get my revenge. I'm going to hide all of Stick's monster miniatures before next week's game.

Meg wants Stick's staff.

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