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The Meeting
by Wilhelm

They stood huddled around the coffee maker that sat on the cafeteria table by the wall when the moderator called a start to the meeting. As they made their way across the threadbare carpet toward the steel foldout chairs a latecomer stopped in the doorway and looked around. The moderator had seen the worried, reluctant look on the latecomer's face many times before, so he went over, took the latecomers hand, and
brought him to a chair toward the back of the group.

The moderator opened the meeting and then invited anyone who wanted to speak - especially any newcomers - to do so. The latecomer hesitated, looked down at his hands, then stood up and said, "Hello, my name is Jesus and I'm an alcoholic."

Before anyone could say anything Jesus continued quickly, "It all started at an early age. I was at a wedding celebration with my parents and the hosts had run out of wine. My mom asked me to turn the water into wine so I did. I was a big hit."

"In high school I wasn't very popular until some friends dragged me to a party where they ran out of alcohol. When I did my little trick, well, needless to say, everyone accepted me."

"After that things started going down hill fast - instead of just making wine I started drinking it. The drinking got so bad near the end that I started doing really stupid things like turning entire city water supplies into wine and, on a drunken bet, turning the Red Sea into white wine."

"I've tried nearly everything to get off the bottle but I just can't do it so some friends suggested I try it here. I was hoping to learn a little more about your program."

Jesus sat down and looked at the moderator expectantly.

"Well," began the moderator, "the first step is to admit that you are powerless over your addiction."

Jesus nodded his head. "That's true enough."

"Then you have to believe that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity."

"Hmm, I'm not so sure about that one, I'm a pretty powerful guy. What's the next one?"

"You have to turn your will and your life over to the care of God as you understand God."

Jesus leapt from his chair, "Are you serious! You know what happened to me the last time I did what That Guy told me to do? I ended up nailed to a damned tree!"

Jesus strode from the room. After the door stopped shaking in its frame the moderator went around to all the members of the group, took their cups from them and said, "Perhaps we should stop drinking the coffee and Kool-Aid, just for tonight."

Bob, who may or may not be an alcoholic, writes at Tiny Dead Bunny