Greetings once again, fellow consumers.

Now, we do not wish to become known as Da Hook Up^TM for all things Lego, but these things sort of just fall into our lap. Meet the Lego Cufflinks. Available in a variety of colors and could rather easily be turned into a nipple piercing. We think.

In keeping with the "wearable toys" theme lately, here's a trinket that proclaims itself to be a Pez Necklace, ie. a small silver ingot resembling a pez candy. We believe it was just a happy smelting accident that the creators have rather cleverly marketed. And good for them.

Another pop cultury trinket is this charming smiley face necklace. All the smileys are represented here, so feel free to acquire multiples and proclaim your geekhood for all to see.

For the home this week, here's a kitschy item that one can take as a warning...or just a timepiece. This Red Devil clock is cute, but that shade of red doesn't go with too many everyday decor schemes.

USB drives come in the most ridiculous array of colors, shapes, sizes possible (and how many of the sodding things do you really need anyway?), yet when something as chock full of geek cred as this Darth Vader USB drive comes along, there you go buying yet another one.

On the fashion front this week, we're going to touch on a passion of ours: shoes. And not just any shoes. That piece of footwear with the oh-so evocative name...PUMPS. Our days of actually wearing such excruciating items are, thankfully, long past, yet we still appreciate beautiful lines, and these babies have them:

This open toe lovely from Enzo just screams Marilyn Monroe, doesn't it? (Better than Marilyn Manson, we say.) And that is the true "Fuck Me Red" shade right there. Accept no substitutes.

Yes, this shoe is from Target. No, it doesn't have to cost $500 to be worth of strutting in down the street of our choice. This beauty lacks the precise copulation shade of red as the Enzo, but it has a 70s supahfly silhouette with that stacked sole that just screams for hotpants.

This sexy bitch from Strutt has a lace accent at the back, which any guy will tell you will make him contemplate undoing it with his teeth. It's also not quite screw-me red, but it's a deeper, heart's blood color, that sort of says, "you just fucked me and now you stabbed me." Intriguing, I promise.

On the vintage front, this gorgeous retro mary jane sort of pump is your wear anything shoe...trousers, flirty dresses, or just stockings and a garter belt, this shoe can do it all. And the lovely arch strap ensures it won't fall off when your feet are in the air. For, you know, whatever reason.

And finally, a pair of ankle boots that we decree are Cool Enough to Wear. In fact, with the lines and sexy red sole on these bitches, it'd be a crime *not* to wear them. With as little as possible.

Well, my shoppers, here again we must part. All this shoe-ery has left us a bit...anxious. We'll see you next week.

Anastasia lives in Florida and may or may not be Imelda Marcos. We'll never tell.

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