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Where Is Rusty When You Need Him? by Turtle Jones
We here at FTTW do very different things and we know you do So I'm not going to ask anyone about the varied tastes in footbal teams or anything like that. Too many teams and too many games and too many different sports. Maybe we can go on about that another day, but right now Michele wants to go to bad and I'm getting more sushi. Cause tuna wants to be eaten. Jeez, I thought sex day was yesterday. So anyways, here we go. Todays poll. Best TV Judge Turtle goes fishing Well, I have to go with Andy Griffith on whatever the hell that show was called. Mayberry. Andy and Opie. The hell if I know about the real name. It coule have been called Aunt Bee and Barney's Orgy for all I care. All I know is that Andy was one damn fine judge. I mean really, look at his baliff. It was Barney Fife. See now thats cool. Barney reacted quick with swift justice if you stepped out of line. Plus if you do get locked up, you could get drunk of Otis Cambells breath. -T michele takes the stand: I swear. Never. But if I'm going to be forced to pick one, I'm going with the original. OG, baby. Rusty the bailiff. Doug Llewelyn. And the Wap. Wapner to you. They just don't make 'em like Wapner anymore. "Don't take the law into your own hands: you take 'em to court. Hey, I work in a courthouse. Truer words were never spoken. I'm going to start answering the phone at work like that. -M You after some really hard thinking, we came up with those. We need your help on who is the greastest cause this list isn't going to type himself and Otis ain't gonna get drunk alone. Or maybe he will. Anyways, what are your favorite TV judges?
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Comments
I always like the judges from the bail hearings on Law & Order. They're always bored, disinterested, and yet mentally engaged enough for the quick quip right before the *dun* *dun*.
The judges always seem arbitrary during that part of the show. It's what I always imagined Soviet Justice was like:
Judge: "So what's up with this one?"
Defense Attorney: "My client was wrongl--"
Judge: "Yeah, prosecutor, you want bail at like, what? 10 gajillion?"
Prosecutor: "Well, he stole a spare tire and a Hershey bar."
Judge: "Ha! Enjoy the fudgpacking at Riker's, doughboy. Bail set at $2 million. Next!"
Posted by: Paul | October 19, 2006 1:24 AM
I agree on Wapner. I've only casually seen the today's judges and they don't hold a candle to Wapner.
Posted by: Cullen | October 19, 2006 6:43 AM
judge joe brown.
cuz "While nearly everyone in his neighborhood fell victim to the harsh realities and circumstances of living in an inner city, Brown chose education instead"
bwahahaha
Posted by: kali | October 19, 2006 9:07 AM
DUDE! Judge Judy (the early years).
The best one when when her bailiff had to explain what the blow up sheep was for...
I died.
Posted by: Deb | October 19, 2006 3:17 PM
I'm with Deb. Judy. She reminds me of my mom-in-law and my mom-in-law also loved her.
Posted by: Timmer | October 19, 2006 4:13 PM
And I can't think of Wapner without wanting to buy underwear at K-Mart.
Posted by: Timmer | October 19, 2006 4:14 PM
I've never gotten into any of them but that Judy makes my skin crawl.
Joe Brown made me laugh my ass off one day though, although you'll never get me to put that in writing.
Posted by: Dan | October 19, 2006 5:56 PM
Man, I gotta go home for lunch one of these days and catch one of these judges.
Posted by: Paul | October 19, 2006 9:01 PM