My little sister works full-time and goes to law school at night. She is usually very tired at the end of the day when she gets home, but when I called her tonight she said she was feeling great.

"It's all this healthy eating I'm doing," she said. "I've got a ton of energy and I get my second-wind around 10:00."

I knew it was coming - just knew it, and then, BAM! "You should try it too," she said.

So, folks, when a loved-one is all excited about healthy eating and wants you to participate, here's a list of reasons for you to continue on that Mountain Dew and Doritos diet:

*When you have all that extra energy, you are expected to do stuff with it - doing stuff is bad.
* It's a fast-paced, don't-stop-and-smell-the-roses kind of world out there - fight the system by eating poorly and being lazy.
* Do you really want a second-wind at 10:00pm?
* When you have all that extra energy you are just going to do more and more stuff until you feel just as drained as before, thus having to eat even healthier, thus doing more stuff, thus getting drained, thus having to eat even healthier, etc. etc. etc. ad infinitum - break the vicious cycle by eating poorly in the first place.
* Be a real man (or woman) and drag your ass through the day just like everyone else.
* Just be lazy.

Wilhelm knows better than to listen to his siblings.

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