Happy Post-Halloween Hangover, my fellow Pop Culturistas. Get your sneering muscles ready, because you're going to need them...

First, the party-goers:

Mrs. Seal, Heidi Klum (with Mr. Seal as Eve), made very fine use of her makeup people in the creation of this original sin costume, conceived no doubt, to accomodate her expanding baby-belly. The makeup is well done, the apple is a bit weird, but bow low, one and all, to the custom made green snakeskin patterned platform boot. She should so market that.

Next is this cute little poppet...Elisha Cuthbert? Who cares. She's far too young to be dressed as droogy Alex, yet there it is. And good on her for bringing along the required attitude to pull it off...

...unlike this next twit, who in her oh-so-predictable hoor gear, looks as if she's nicked it from Mommy's closet, and has just been caught. "MoooOOOOooommm. It's just a little party, I swear I'll be home by 9! And I won't get any dip on it, pleeeeeeeese?" This girl could *own* Hollyweird, if she'd just get her head out of her own bagina for twelve seconds.

The Piven appeared as some sort of gaucho bandito, and I heartily approve. He's that rarest of combinations...the smart guy who looks like he should have gone straight to nerds-ville, yet somehow got all that sex appeal packed in as well. Must have been a mix-up in the Procurement Department.

Here's Kyle MacLachlan as the gayest pirate ever. Seriously, mauve and red together? Ye'll be walkin the plank, ye will, t'answer to Davey Jones himself. Oh, and fire ye stylist.

Mister Cardboard Pizza cutout there is a Katie Holmes castoff, a braggart who once claimed, "It's a flash of a smile and a nice conversation. And at the end of the day, she's cooking the food." Uh yeah. And here you are, dressed up as a cardboard piece of pizza. To his little Goth friend, we say, "better wash that, honey, you don't know where it's been."

And finally, a has-been actress trying to make fun of a has-been model. Even though the latter is rapidly becoming world class parody (and drag show) material, if you have to carry a sign around telling people who you're dressed up as, then the costume doesn't work. Hell, for a minute there, I thought you were a Klingon.

That's it for this Halloweird edition, join us next week when we answer the following burning questions:

- What is so fascinating about Jennifer Aniston's bony ass that it takes a dozen LAPD cops to get her from the airport to her car?

- Why did Jennifer Lopez think it necessary to marry a flesh-eating zombie?

- And can Gwen Stefani get any damned sexier?

Toodles.

| Permalink | Del.icio.us It | Fark It | Digg It| Stumble It!