Low Carb my ASS!
by Baby Huey

I've told you people before that I'm a man of few words. And yet, somehow, I still feel bad if I don't write a novel each time I give you yet another delicious recipe and metal review. I'm not sure what the deal with that is.

This week's recipe is as close to culinary perfection as you can achieve. It has all 4 food groups: 4foodgrps.jpg

- Carbs (yeah, fuck you right in your constipated ass, Dr. Atkins)
- Fat
- Cheese
- Bacon

And it's spicy and good with guacamole. I mean, come on.

Chipotle Cheddar Bacon Cornbread

* 3 cups yellow cornmeal
* 2 1/4 cups flour
* 1 Tbsp salt
* 1 Tbsp baking powder
* 1 1/2 tsp baking soda
* 2 Tbsp honey
* 5 eggs, beaten
* 4 slices of bacon, diced
* 3 cups milk
* 6 Tbsp melted butter
* 3 chipotle chiles in adobo, chopped
* 1 c shredded cheddar cheese

Put the bacon into a 12 inch cast iron skillet. Put the skillet in a cold oven and preheat it to 425 deg for about 10 - 15 minutes.

In a bowl, combine the liquid ingredients, chiles, cheese, and honey. In a second (large) bowl, combine the rest of the dry ingredients. Add the liquid ingredients to the dry ingredients (not the other way around). Stir till it's just combined.

Take the skillet out of the oven and take the bacon out of the skillet. Do not, under ANY circumstances, get rid of that fat. Take a wad of paper towels or a grill brush, and coat the inside of the skillet, bottom and side, with the bacon grease. Add the batter and back into the oven for 15 minutes.

After 15 minutes, sprinkle the bacon on top of the cornbread, and back in the oven for another 10 minutes. A toothpick should come out mostly clean (the cheese may prevent it from being completely dry). Let it cool for 20 minutes before turning it out of the skillet. You can slather it with butter, or guacamole, or rooster sauce, or whatever. It's also excellent for dipping in chili. It'll be awesome. I actually like it with butter and a bit of honey -- sweet and spicy kick ass together.

If that got your appetite working, this week's metal review will make you lose it.

tcme.jpgThe County Medical Examiners
Olidous Operettas
Relapse Records

According to Wikipedia, The County Medical Examiners are an American goregrind band, whose intended purpose is to emulate the classic goregrind of the 1980s - the early albums of Carcass. The band is a power trio of actual medical examiners (at the time of their first releases they were still doing their studies) comprising Dr Morton Fairbanks on guitar and vocals, Dr Jack Putnam on drums and vocals, and Dr Guy Radcliff on bass and vocals. Note that these are not their real names, as they would probably be expelled from the medical profession for playing the sort of music that they do, despite keeping it more tasteful than their idols. Where Carcass would perform Exhume to Consume, The County Medical Examiners do A Brief Discourse On Wound Ballistics. Their lyrical content merely describes what goes on in the morgues of hospitals, rather than discussing grisly acts of necrophilia and cannibalism. The band's frontman is Dr Morton Fairbanks, who writes most of the bands music and lyrics, though all band members are credited. It should be noted that Dr Guy Radcliff (who is many years the senior of the other two band members) is not a goregrind fan, but joined the band as they were short a bassist, and out of his professed love for the avant-garde. The County Medical Examiners have released a few albums, and are sporadically working on a new album. They have never performed live.

Controversy surrounds the identity of the band members, as they use pseudonyms to avoid the wrath of hospital administration and fan attention. One rumor suggests that TCME contains at least one member of Exhumed, mostly because the domain name for the band's website was registered by a former member of Exhumed, and not under the name of the "band members," but it's now commonly accepted that TCME, being uninterested in their online promotion, have many people behind the scenes--including various other Carcass clone bands, as well as Relapse Records staff--donating their time to web design and promotion, as well as guest musical appearances.

One last thing: if you buy this CD (and I recommend you do), the booklet is scratch and sniff. And it smells like rotting flesh.

Recommended Tracks: The Virchow Postmortem Procedure, Expeditious Evisceratory Mishap, Maturating Decompositional Gas


Butter, bacon and cheese? Count me in.


I know, I hope my date this weekend goes that well.


Huey, any woman who doesn't love bacon, butter and cheese is a woman you don't need to keep around. Seriously, there's no excuse for that shit. Worse than kicking puppies, I swear...


AND HOW. If it's a *REALLY* good date, no cooking with said bacon, butter, and cheese will be involved.


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