Guys Like You...
by Tim O'Connell

I'm really out of it this week because life all of a sudden revved up into high gear.

We're moving back to Idaho in June. We've been working with a couple of realtors, one an old friend who couldn't help because he's in the middle of building 50 some odd houses and another one who helped our daughter out a few years back. We were getting ready to sign the contract with that one when our friend called Sunday saying that he was just about to put one on the market and he thought it was perfect for us. He went Woods-House-East.jpgover with our daughter and checked it out and the pics look amazing and our daughter and son in law loved it. Built in the 60s, old growth trees in the front and back yards. BIG back yard for Boyo and Max (Maximum Dawg) to run around in. Recently refurbed, fireplaces, fully finished basement. Basically, exactly what we're looking for at a price just above what we wanted to pay.

So now I'm scrambling to get pre-paid on a loan and get my VA stuff all added up and meanwhile, in the back of my head, there's a little voice SCREAMING, "Guys like you don't buy houses!!!" I'm used to that voice. It's told me over the past few years, "Guys like you don't get married." "Guys like you can't be a Dad." "Guys like you don't get to be Master Sergeants." "Guys like you shouldn't have this many people's lives in your hands."

Ya see my inner child is a juvenile delinquent. Even though I left the streets a little over 22 years ago, there's still part of me that crawls around there when I get inside my head for too long. Right now I'd love to just put on a pair of headphones and live in my head for the rest of the day.

But I'm buying a fucking HOUSE! Oh, and I still have to put on the uniform and show up for work while I'm doing it. Sometimes this being a grown up shit really pisses me off.

Sorry this is so short...I'd truly love to indulge in a little more public freaking out, but all the funny parts are over and the rest of it is just kind of more screaming and shuddering and quivering internally. I haven't really figured out how to write that in an interesting manner.

Timmer would like to find his inner child and kick his little ass.


I hear ya. I fell ass backwards into every area of responsibility in my life. I don't have a fucking clue how I got here.


Idaho, eh? My parents moved up there last year. They are cold now.

Good luck with the homebuying!


I'm still young, and there's been no marriage or house buying, but the responsibilities I have taken on have always been done in something of a reluctant manner.

I've only recently gotten to the age where I've realized that most people go through the same process of being sort of amazed at what they end up doing and are capable of doing when they're forced to. At least, I think that's how it is for most people.

Where, approximately, in Idaho? I haven't been there much. I've driven through the north part of the state, which is incredibly gorgeous. Also been in a couple towns in the south, and those were much less impressive.


I have similar feelings all the time - I feel like a fraud and I'm afraid that at any moment I will be "found out." (usually this applies to work) I keep wondering how long I can fool them, how long I can keep up the pretenses, wear the mask that makes me sweat and the awful wig that makes my head itch.

Or something.
But anyway I know what you mean and unfortunately have absolutely no suggestions for you since I am still denying I'm the kind of person I'm turning out to be too.


Been there, Tim. You stand around and think, how the hell did I get here? And should I really be here?

And if you think buying a house is stressful, wait til you get to the moving in part. Like, the part where you discover all the little things that need fixing that you didn't notice when you first looked at the place.


Yeah, Michele's right about the house part. Buying it is one thing, then you move in and have a really close look over the next few months and try to figure out where the hell the money's going to come from to fix it all.

It's all fun though. Whatever doesn't kill you kind of bullshit.


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