TAFC# 6: Cool Cars, Fake Cars
by Michele Christopher

After a week off, TAFC is back and we're going vroooooom vroooom on this one. It's Car Week at FTTW and we thought long and hard about a poll to go with this one. One of the editors mentioned something about the Batmobile during our weekly board meeting and the light bulb went on. Best cars from movies and tv!

This is almost too easy. There are so many cool cars out there. From McQueen's ride in Bullit to the Flinstonemobile, you've got an awful lot to choose from in making your nominations for this poll.

Our editors give you some of their choices first, then it's up to you to fill out the ballot so we can get a poll up here this weekend.

Coolest cars from movies and TV. Hit it.

Michele has a killer pick:

The Car. Made famous in a 1977 movie called...wait for it......The Car. A creepy, frightening movie about, you guessed it, a car. This slick, black car - a modified 1971 Lincoln Continental Mark III designed by George Barris of Batmobile fame - would just torment people by following them around and running them down. And, this being some small desert town where evil dwells beneath the surface, like in every horror movie ever made, all the townfolks (that’s what they are called in places like this) are quite sure the car is driven by Satan himself.

I swear to you, this car was scary. If you watch this movie today, maybe a souped up Lincoln won’t seem so scary to you. Maybe the movie will seem cheesy and that fog horn that plays every time the car runs someone down will seem hilarious. Hey, at least it didn't play La Cucuracha like my neighbor's car horn does.

But this was circa 1980. What we consider cheesy now was groundbreaking and cool back then.

We never really get why this car was murdering random people in this town. Maybe it just doesn’t like the desert? Maybe it was offended at the way the Indian guy was portrayed? Maybe it hated band geeks or James Brolin's facial hair? Who knows. We got evil, suspense, an explosion, some cool mow-downs, and enough false scares to make some paranoid (read: stoned) teenagers nearly wet their pants. Hey, I said nearly. All that was missing was Yeardley Smith yelling out We made you!

Very cool, if disturbing, car.


Turtle hits the road:

My car is not really a car but it is my pick. Yeah, that's right. A semi. Fuck them. It's no secret to anyone who has been hanging around me lately that I have become addicted to a new video game. And really, this game kicks ass on so many levels that it has made me rethink my prior beliefs on the great American institution called long distance truck driving. The game is 18 Wheeler if anyone cares. It, as a game, has made me think a little harder about choosing a new profession. A noble profession. One of honor and dignity and more than its share of methamphetamine. That's right. I wanna be a trucker. So in honor of this revelation that has been dropped on me like a newborn child's first solid shit, my "car" nominee shall be The Truck From Smokey and the Bandit.

bandit custom kenworth.jpg

It might have a name. Or not. All I know is that when the fat guy and the midget need some beer transported through state lines without payin' any taxes, Turtle is gonna be the man they call to get that motherfucking Budweiser through.

Pull the horn and drop the hammer. Be it hell or Hell's Angels, Imma getting some hicks drunk tonight.

East bound and down. - T

Dan gets mysterious:

See, I’m not much of a car guy. It wouldn’t be so bad if I was David Hasselhoff or something, hanging out with my hand down my pants while the car brings me my fucking slippers. It wouldn’t be so bad if I was Brandon Walsh with a crapped out Mustang that my rich Dad helps me fix, as long as I learned something from it. It wouldn’t be so bad if I was Inspector Gadget for that matter, falling ass backwards into good luck at every turn.

mm2.jpgBut you know what? I want a van like The Mystery Machine. A van is freedom. I want to be able to stretch out on the floor. I want to be able to sleep in parking lots and take fourteen people for a drive. I want to beat my small cock and wait for no girls to call me in the middle of the night.

And I want to my van to come with a talking dog and a bunch of pothead hippies who are afraid of ghosts but don’t mind talking to the cops. I would have it so made in that scene. Sharing snacks and telling ghost stories all the time, then hanging out in the van while they deal with the law. What’s that Freddie, you think there’s a ghost out there? Maybe Frankenstein has been hanging out in the abandoned mine shaft again? Hell yeah, I’ll check that out, let’s just hotbox this van one more time first. Officer Shanahan is out there with some questions? He thinks we’re meddling? Yeah, your turn dude. I can hardly keep my eyes open. You’re wearing a fucking ascot for God’s sake, you look respectable. Go work your magic.

Only problem is that you know the music sucks, they’re going to be playing old Beatles and other poppy crap from the 60’s. Maybe some James Taylor in the later episodes. I’ll have to bring some tapes. - D

Finn heads to the bat cave:

The Batmobile -Because if you’re going to own one ride from a TV Show or a movie, you’re gonna want the one with a jet engine, a convertible top and missiles that shoot from the quarter panels. Though it’s gone through a series of transformations (the one from the Fifties, the the cheesy Sixties TV version, even that disgusting piece of crap they pawned off on us in the Clooney movie), the essence of the Batmobile is always there. It’s the ultimate gadget for the man who (literally) has everything and an almost perfect embodiment of using tools to get things done.

For me, the Batmobile has never been cooler than in the Tim Burton Batman movies (although the one in BTAS is a damn, damn close second). It looks like a tank, if a tank was designed by Hugo Boss and designed to be incredibly stylish and pants wetting at the same time. It comes standard with the prerequisite video phone, jet turbine and uber-security system. It plow through crowds and traffic alike and goes from zero to 60 in just under 3 seconds. And even tough the ladies might get a little wet because of the cape and the cowl, they all come running for the car. --F

So that's our picks.....now you tell us your favorite fictional ride. Nominate as many as you want and we will throw the top 20 or so into a poll that will go live on Friday.



Gotta be the Mach 5 for me.


Is it jst me or does Michele's choice look strangely like a discarded design for the latest Chrysler 300?

Anyway, I nominate The Homer, from the Simpsons episode where Homer designs a car for his half brother's company.


Oh, I almost forgot Buckaroo Banzai's Jet Truck (don't remember if it had a name in the movie).


I'll take the Ferrari from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, before it crashed into the woods.


I don't want to say just how many of our "shared" tokens he used playing this game.

He thinks he made up for it by letting me honk the horn on the game.


The pimps car in Magnum Force. The one rolling over the Golden Gate with pink roof and fuzzy interior.

Cheech and Chongs van from Up in Smoke



that horn was fucking cool, man.

the fuck is wrong with you?

like, little kids in Africa are like starving and shit to honk that horn


Cheech and Chong's van from Up In Smoke.... is that the the work van they modify with the chain links etc?

I was going to take that as my choice but I couldn't remember what movie it was in, I kept thinking Nice Dreams. A symptom of the cure I guess.


Nice Dreams had the ice cream truck.


Cheech and Chong's van from Up In Smoke

That was the pot van

Next Movie was the movie set van

Nice Dreams was the ice cream truck

know your dope movies


The General Lee

The Wraith


Maybe it's my repressed road rage, but my favorite cars are: the many 007 Bond cars, the car from "Knight Rider", the car from "The Avengers" (the movie), and... Burt Reynolds' car from "Smokey and The Bandit"


General Fucking Lee.

That's all I have to say.


i gotta go with Sly's Merc from Cobra


The white, 1970 Dodge Challenger driven by Barry Newman in Vanishing Point, complete with minibike on top;)


It's not very popular now but it dominated NASCAR for two years before Ford quit racing, plus it was my first car (and I still have it). I've always thought my 1969 Fairlane 500 Fastback is supremely cool.



I'm not even sure if this counts (mainly because it's been in so many movies), but what about Sam Raimi's "Classic" ? It's been in just about every movie he's made.


General Lee FTW.


the interceptor from road warrior.

any car loaded with an NO2 injector, packed with plastic explosives and a big ass knife underneath the body a is fucking cool car

plus it had a cool dog in it


steve mcqueens car from Bullet

the Bluesmobile


The rental car from "Plains, Trains, and Automobiles", an 86 Chrysler LeBaron gradualy trashed and burned beyond recognition.


The car from "Plains, Trains, and Automobiles", an 86 Chrysler LeBaron gradualy trashed and burned beyond recognition.


dude. uhm mad max?



sorry turtle didn't see that you covered it...


How can you top Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? I mean the thing could fly!


Centauri's car from The Last StarFighter...what can I say, a car that breaks the speed of light, I can dig that. :)


Oh, someone else on Dean's World suggested the DeLorean Time Machine from Back to the Future. Not a bad choice.


The Mach 5


The Whirly-Bat!


Eh, you specified "cars," dammit, didn't you? Well, the Whirly-Bat's got wheels, anyway!

I guess if it's strictly automobiles cars, then, I've gotta go with:


I have a hard time choosing among the Mach 5, Buckaroo Banzai's Jet Car, the Animal House Deathmobile...I'm going to go for ubergeek points and pick the GRX. Killed four drivers, buried the engine with the designer, thing was so fast you had to take drugs to drive it.


Have to also go with Mad Max's Interceptor.

'Elanore' Ford Mustang: from Gone in 60 Seconds

The GTO in XXX is cool too.


Oh yeah? What about the Beverly Hillbillies-mobile?

If you don't have Irene Ryan in a rocking chair in the back, you haven't got a REALLY cool car...


The Miami Vice Ferarri Daytona

(yes I know it was not a REAL Daytona in real life...)


The Green Hornet's Black Beauty!

Or maybe:


I'm gunna have to put my vote in for The Electric Mayhem's Tour Bus from The Muppet Movie.


Just because it hasn't been mentioned: the Black Moon from the movie Black Moon Rising.

Actually I prefer Stallone's '50 Mercury from Cobra.


There's a lot more out there, just reach back into your memories folks! Seriously, a red tomato with a stripe,
and it's an undercover cop car! (shh, don't tell) It's a car that kills people and can heal it's own injuries!
It's a ghostbusting ambulance! It's a pacer limo -- with flames!
It's a friggin' stainless steel time machine and they were available
retail! (without the time traveling part) Did I mention it was a time machine?


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