Well, I'm ready to come out of hiding. I took a hiatus because my dating life hit the shitter, and I didn't have a muse. Add to that bit of craptasticness, I was in a deep nasty funk after I injured myself while working out and only just now am able to do full workouts with no pain. Yay, me.

But I’m back. I’m not bringing sexy back just yet, but I’m working on it.

To catch you up….Back at the end of August/beginning of fall, I started dating Rob. Rob seemed really great. Single dad. Three boys. Alas, he proved himself, after three months of seeing one another regularly, that he was just not everything he seemed to be. Too bad for him, RIGHT? Immediately after a very boring, bizarre phone conversation with him the week before Thanksgiving, I sent him an email with the following text, “Rob-I’m not interested in seeing you anymore. Good luck with the boys. –DR”

Yep. Over email. Lame? Maybe. Cuts down on the stupid drama though, and I get to be done with it. I hear back from him with a “no regrets. thank you for all the fun. good luck” response. Then he contacts me on NYE with a “for what it’s worth” instant message. Whatever. Moving on.

Thennnnnnnnn, my kids started basketball. And oh what a sweet, sweet, “you sure have a purty mouth” and “holy fuck what a great, kind smile, and yes, yes you do have a delicious chest and what’s that? You love kids?” man I met. He’s the athletic director for the organization where they played. His name was Jared, and as it turns out, he was about six years younger than me.

I saw Jared at the very first basketball practice, and I had a mad instant crush. Nothing but a superficial “man, I’d like to have him for a few minutes all alone in that closet over there” type crush.

Then I started talking to him. Watching him with all the kids. After a bit of that, I got the “man, I’d like to have him for a few minutes all alone in that closet over there and want him to be my steady date guy”-type crush.

Why’s that? Mostly because my kids adored him. My son, who’s killer competitive and athletic, would challenge him to hoops, and Jared always came to play with him during the game quarters or halves or whenever there was time, if we were there, between games. My daughter, well, she had a good old fashioned starry-eyed crush on him. She’d follow him around and stuck to his side like white on rice. It was damn funny. As it turns out, she’s a pretty good wingman.

Now, a little background. My ex and I have a relatively good relationship, and when he’s not being a jerk, we hang out like really good friends. This is a good thing for our kids, but it’s a bad thing if we’re at a kids’ thing somewhere and everyone thinks we’re married. Which evidently they do. Which sucks. Never mind that his girlfriend is there most of the time. Nor do I wear a wedding ring. Apparently no one thinks it’s odd that it appears he’s married to me but has his arm and sometimes kisses the other woman standing next to him. Huh. Who knew so many people were open to open relationships that are so openly open? (now say “open” a few more times and it won’t even sound like a word anymore)

Pretty soon after the season starts, I start making a very sly (yes it was, shut up) effort to start talking to Jared. Get to the games at the Z a little bit earlier than needed, you know, so the kids can warm up a little bit, or because I’m perpetually early (which is the absolute truth). I also had the (mis?)fortune to have some very good traffic days when they should have been horrid, and I arrived at some away games an entire game early. Those days were completely unplanned and would never have happened if it were something way more important than a rec basketball game.

One of those games turns out to be an excellent game as far as my dating life goes…or so I thought at the time…

More on that…and there is more, much more, in my next article…

A hint…turns out Jared’s a very, very good kisser.

And smells delicious up close…

And okay, I’m done. Next time. Promise.

-DR

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