Geting Back to the Fucking Around
by Kali Pornia

ok let's get back to the fucking around here, can we? jesus.

i've been somewhere else in mind and spirit and i haven't been laid in oh my god it's been so long it's embarrassing. i haven't had a dry patch like this since fourth grade when my uncle told me i was getting too old. KIDDING! i kid.

dgkali.bmpso there's this ad here, the one i've included, that people are all up in arms about. D&G's peeps are calling it "fantasy rape." HOT! so fucking hot. but we'll get back to that later. the ever popular "women's groups" are calling this ad violent. (who are these women in the women's groups, anyway? i picture fat and bearded ladies, don't you? oh wait ya there's tipper and good old stand by yer man hillary... right. just like i said, beards.) drama! (drama said like Dramamine, not like your high school drama teacher.) anyway they pulled the fucking ad. shit those ultra skinny women offend me way more than this does.

i don't know but those GUYS ARE FUCKING HOTT@!#!#@&*# i have no idea why i feel this way. i have heard horror stories from young girls about how they lost thier virginity, i have heard of deplorable things that our young men do to our young women, but STILL i have this thing about fantasy rape.

i lay in bed at night and fantasize about coming home one night from work and going to hang my coat up and being grabbed from behind, a hand put over my mouth, i try to scream but can't, he's so strong he rips up my skirt and pulls down my nylons... i'm struggling struggling but can't break free. i smell his sweat and hear his heavy breathing, i'm struggling he rips open his belt and pants and i fell his rock hard penis against my thigh... holy crap i'm going to have to go to the BATHROOM!!!

ok so ya you get it, right? the rape thing is hot. well, i think so anyway. fuck what's PC i just know what gets me off.

YES, the guy in my fantasy is hot, DUH. and sweaty and muscular... well, kinda like the guys in that ad up there. i used to think i wasn't so hot about the other guys watching, but the more i look at this pic the more i wouldn't mind a bunch of hot men waiting to run the train on me. shit. am i sick?

(oh ya and now i have this thing about nun porn, thanks everybody on the mail list -- like i needed more sick thoughts in this head of mine...)

Sceaming Like a Banshee Archives


"women's groups" are calling this ad violent.
Hell, for all we know, she could be doing a quick workout on her abs and ass while the boys look. I don't see anything that screams rape. Criminy

And Kali, I have to agree that the ad is hot.

I bet I have you beat on the dryspell.


Nun porn...Michele's last post...hmmmm...Waynes World flashback deedeedeedeedaloop...

The 7 Dwarves take a vacation and are visting Rome. They manage to win an audience with the Pope. Six of the dwarves are trying to push a relectant Dopey up in front of the Pontiff. He half stumbles, kneels, kisses the Pope's ring and then stammers, You're holiness, may I ask a question?"
"Of course my son, what is it?"
"Are there any ummmm Dwarf Nuns in Rome?"
"No my son."
"Any in Italy?"
"No...I'm sure, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in Europe."
The rest of the dwarves bust out laughing, link hands and dance in a circle around Dopey singing, "Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin."

Thank you, thank you...I'll be here all week...try the good to your waitress and remember...the more you drink, the funnier I seem.


I bet I have you beat on the dryspell.

*sigh* Why must you ladies make me play games that I *will* win?


I got laid last night. SUCK IT LOSERS.


I got laid three times in six hours yesterday. SUCK MY GREATNESS.


I think I was in there for a few of them....


Nothing happened in LV.


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