by Baby Huey

It's almost summer! Seriously. Don't pay any attention to that cold white shit on the ground in half the country. It's just Colombian marching powder. Go snort it, I dare ya. It'll be fun.

Since it is almost summer time, and I refuse to accept this reassertion of winter, I'm going to go ahead with some warm weather recipes. It's salsa time, baybee. I love making salsa, and make at least one batch a week in the warm weather months. Two of the three recipes are originals of mine, and one is adapted from a Mexican joint I used to hit all the time in college. All of these are great on chicken, steak, pork, fish, and lest I forget, chips.
Mango Salsa
2 whole mangoes, peeled and diced small
1/2 red onion, minced fine
1 habanero pepper, seeds removed and minced*
1/3 c cilantro, chopped fine
juice and zest of one lime
1 tsp salt
1 Tbsp honey

*For the love of God, man, don't be a hero. Wear some gloves.

Mix the lime juice, lime zest, salt, honey, and cilantro in a bowl. Add the mango, onion, and chile. Toss lightly to combine, and let sit for at least an hour before using.

Asian Cucumber Salsa

1 lb cucumber, chopped into a small dice
4 scallions, chopped fine
1 serrano chile, minced
1/4 tsp red chile flakes
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbsp soy sauce
2 Tbsp toasted sesame oil
3 Tbsp grated ginger
1/4 c rice wine vinegar
1/4 c chopped, dry roasted peanuts
1 Tbsp toasted sesame seeds

Mix everything together, reserving 1 of the scallions until just before service. Sprinkle that one on to keep it nice and crisp.

Smokin Salsa
This recipe is adapted from the salsa of the same name, available at Que Tal Mexican Cantina in Cleveland, OH

8 plum tomatoes, cut in half and de-seeded
1 head of garlic, with the top sliced off
2 onions, cut in quarters
4 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce (3 if you're a pussy)
juice of a lime

Place everything except the chipotles and lime juice on a baking sheet. Sprinkle with 2 tsp salt and drizzle with oil, and place in a 375 degree oven for 45 minutes, or until the garlic is soft.

Place all of the now roasted and carmelized goodness into the blender with the chipotles and lime juice. Puree till it's smooth, adding vegetable oil until it's the consistency you want. Reseason with salt, and you're good to go.

mhblackening.jpgMachine Head
The Blackening
Roadrunner Records

The first release for Machine Head since 2004's Through the Ashes of Empires, they had to, in the eyes of some of their most ardent fans, make up for a couple of very lackluster releases. I have no doubts that The Blackening will satiate their desire for a kickass Machine Head record. Long, riff-heavy, Bay Area thrash abounds in this. The high point in the album is the song "Aesthetics of Hate," a song dedicated to the memory of Dimebag Darrel Abbot. Immediately after Darrel's death, some douchebag writer on some ridiculous online conservative rag wrote an article called "The Aesthetics of Hate", a vitriol-laced heap of bile about how Dime basically deserved what he got because he played metal. This song, which is unbelievably powerful, is a great big fuck you to that guy, who I won't even justify naming.

Recommended Tracks: "Aesthetics of Hate", "Beautiful Mourning", "Clenching the Fists of Dissent", "Halo"


When I get home I'll shoot you my wife's watermelon salsa recipe.


I love watermelon salsa, Timmer. Is it smooth or chunky? Sometimes I'll make something like a watermelon salsa, then puree it and eat it as a soup.


Chunky and HOT! Served ice cold it's just a great conglomeration of things going on in your mouth on a hot day.


Dude when you talk sauce I listen.

I made the san marzano tomato sauce you wrote about, early last week. Yowza.


Timmer, that sounds good. I love chilled, spicy soups in the summer with a nice green salad and a cold beer.

Dan, that really brightens my day to know that you tried the sauce and it worked out for you. See folks? It does work out for the best. I don't just pull this stuff out of my ass.


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