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TAFC# 10: TV Theme Songs
by FTTW Staff
We got a right to start a little fight Bonanza!
Did you even know there were lyrics to that theme song? No shit, man. Not only lyrics but really shitty lyrics! Maybe that is why that theme song is so cool. No matter when you hear the song, you can just picture Little Joe (pre Charles Ingalls) kicking ass on the Ponderosa.
Anyways, when I heard that song this weekend on TV Lands Bonanza marathon, I started thinking about theme songs to TV shows. There have been some memorable ones. Hawawai Five O was cool. So was Streets of San Francisco. They were funky. I can still picture that theme song and Karl Malden's nose cruising up and down the streets to catch the bad guys. Funky style police brutality kicks ass, yo.
So in the spirit of Hoss Cartwright, "Danno" Williams, and Bull Shannon we ask what is the best all time theme song?
I'll have my say first.
Streets of San Francisco
No I am not biased. This is a kick ass down and dirty funky ass kicking song. Too bad the show never quite lived up to the theme. And yes. Yes it was a cop on the Dirty Harry themes but we can forgive them for that. As long as we could see Karl Malden's nose, it was all ok. I still am in shock and awe of it every time I see a rerun. It's like the thing had it's own life force. I mean really, if you take a close look at it, the nose seems to have split off into two different hemispheres that are succeeding away from the main island. Like revolutionary war type shit on the nose. Pretty soon one side will start saying shit about taxes and no representation then some asshole will dump some tea off the left nostril and next thing you know the Beatles will be flying over the top will some big British Invasion thingy. The fuck if I know. But man, that guy has a big ass honker.
I think I am noticing a trend in my shows here. They all seem to be West Coast kick back and live near the beach shows. I mean, I am not doing Hawaii Five O or anything like that, but I do notice a trend here. Anyways, wasn't Jim Rockford cool? He lived on a beach! That was cool! Plus he slept until noon! Really cool. And he was friends with Isaac Hayes! I don't know about any of you, but in my opinion, hanging out with Isaac Hayes in the 70's was about as close as you could get to a Centurion American Express Card for pussy as there is.
Plus the theme of the song starts with an answering machine.
Saying he is not home.
See. He is not home.
He is out hanging wit' Isaac.
Getting pussy. -T
One of the coolest tv shows ever had one of the coolest themes. Men in black with big ass guns doing bad ass things set to a funky/disco beat. I didn't know whether to dance or shoot someone in the head.
What tv theme makes you want to groove, surf and solve mysteries all at the same time? No, not Scooby Doo. As if. We're talking tasty waves and Jack Lord.
See. He hangs out on a beach. And is friends with David Hasselhoff. That's about as close as you can get to an Green American Express Card for pussy. - M
That's some of the editor's picks. Now it's your turn. Nominate as many as you want. We'll pull the top ten nominations from now til Wednesday and throw them into a poll for voting on Thursday.