Bumper Stickers
by Pat Carbonell

all%20acts%20of%20love.JPGMy car is a rolling billboard. It started out innocently enough with a couple of pagan bumper stickers that my daughter got me. Then I got dragooned into leading a Wiccan discussion group, and turned a wee bit militant about being "out" - the back of my car now has seven pagan/witch bumper stickers on it, along with a couple of political ones from the last election.

It embarrasses my sister when she drives my car and people look at her funny after reading the back end. Me, I seem to get the smiles and thumbs-up reactions.

In a way, bumper stickers preceeded internet blogging for a relatively anonymous way to express your opinions about certain things. Of course, when you get to the stage mine are, it's not so anonymous. The decorated back end is how I find my car at Wal-Mart, and how friends know that it's me. If it weren't for the bumper stickers, I would be truly anonymous - I drive an eight-year-old dark blue Ford Escort. How invisible can you get?

I figure that what a person puts on their car says a lot about what they want to put out there for the world to know. I'm not going to assume that it's an accurate picture of the person as a whole... but I do tend to shy away from the owners of cars with multiple Bush/Cheney stickers or "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". After all, that's how those folks want to be known.

If I were to ever own an R.V. (hey, it could happen!), I have a whole list of stickers I want to put on the sides, so the cars passing me can be entertained.... and I can see the ones reaching for the shotguns in the mirror and run 'em off the road.

Here's the current list:chaos.JPG

"Ah, yes, divorce - from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams

Another cynical ex-hippie now working for the establishment...

Born again and again and again...

Chaos, Panic & Disorder... my work here is done

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

Consciousness - That annoying time between naps.

Doing my part to piss off the Religious Right

Do Not Meddle In the Affairs of Dragons, for You are Crunchy & Good with Ketchup

DON'T PISS ME OFF I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

Don't worry. It only seems kinky the first time.

Dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls to Santa

Earth First. We'll strip mine to other planets later.

Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.

Get a taste of religion - Lick a Witch

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take chances?

How do I set my laser printer on stun?cy_chip_m4.jpg

I believe in dragons, good men and other fantasy creatures

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic

It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Life is the school, love is the lesson

village.JPGNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Obedient women are never remembered in history

Remember... pillage first. THEN burn.

Some days the dragon wins

Things haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister

What's POPULAR is not always right. What's RIGHT is not always popular.

Okay, that's it. Hope you got some laughs out of them, or some thoughts provoked, or some blood pressure raised - any reaction at all is a good thing. It means you're alive.

Vermont Village Witch Archives


Those are funny!


I've always wondered about people with that many bumper stickers...now I know.


Yah, now you know we just got carried away!


i'm looking for two, specifically:

"tell your mom i said thanks."


"suck my balls."

little help here, people.


I have to say, I love reading your car. I find the art of bumper stickers to be a guilty pleasure and a great pastime while stuck in traffic.


eXTReMe Tracker