FTTW is looking for a few good men. Or women. Or children. Hell, you don't even have to be that good. You can be semi-good.

If you ever wanted to write stuff on the intranets, now is your chance.

By stuff, we mean....anything. We could really use a movie reviewer, but we accept nearly anything. I mean, we have someone here who writes stories about adopting a baby who is CPA, so anything goes. News, sports, fiction, music, art, fashion, limericks, rants, love, sex, money, politics, religion, nothing is verboten here and everything is accepted. Oh, and cars. We really want someone to write about cars.

We prefer our writers to sign up for a weekly gig with us, but bi-monthly will do as well.

What are the rewards of working for FTTW? Just ask any of our writers about the perks of joining us. They'll tell you about the free meth lab and moonshine still located at FTTW headquarters. They'll tell you about the camaraderie, the laughs, the joys, the fun, the seasons in the sun.

They won't tell you about the pay. Because there is none. Unless you count self-satisfaction that comes with a job well done pay. We do. Because it's all we got.

Maybe some day we will be internet famous and people will throw gold at our feet and we will share some of that gold with our writers, but for now all we can offer you is a chance to be part of a great group of people who love, cherish and stalk each other.

If this sounds like your kind of gig, show us what you got. Tell us what your idea for a column and include a urine sample. I mean, sample of your writing.

We also are looking for one-shot writers, if you have something (anything but morose gothic poetry) that you want to share with the world as a guest writer for FTTW.

Send all submissions to: fttw.submit@gmail.com, with the header: LET ME IN!

Come on. You know you want to. That moonshine ain't gonna drink itself.

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