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A Hand Up His Ass And a Smile on Your Face
by Turtle Jones
This was a hard one tonight. I have no clue where we started this conversation but for some weird reason it ended up here. First, I want to say thank you to everyone who keeps supporting and reading FTTW. Without you, we would be alone. So thanks to the readers and the writers who keep this site going. You guys helped take an idea and make it into this. A mess of readers, writers, photographers and any other thing you can think of.
You made FTTW.
But enough with all this crap. Let's get on to the mean part of this post.
Sesame Street and Muppet characters
Who was the coolest? Name three? You think it's easy? We both spent an hour thinking about it. Changing our ideas around. Try it. If all of them were on a sinking ship and you could save only three, who would they be? I know that's a pretty bad analogy, but basically, it's the way we had to think.
So who were they?
turtle lets Sesame Street down
Pepe the Prawn
Ok. Easily the best character they ever made was Pepe the Prawn. This character had it all. I mean really. He was fun, confused and had a cool accent. I'm not really sure where he was from, but he was always damn funny. Pepe always had that look like some drugged out friend who was detoxing waiting for you to get your shoes on so he could get more dope. "What are you doing, man?" For some god knows reason he was sold out to Long John Silvers in some weird ad thing that didn't last to long but was still funny to watch.
For some reason a prawn selling prawns to eat is kinda weird to me. It reminds me of some scene in "Roots" with that colored guy from "Reading Rainbow" getting his foot chopped off.
Jesus, this guy needed to be on Librium. Or heroin. Talk about someone too strung up. When I talk to Michele in the morning about things we need to do today, I can honestly say that she is Beaker. Talk about high strung. Jesus. I guess that makes me Dr. Benson Honeydew. But really dude, Beaker kicked ass. He always knew he would get hurt, but kept going cause the Doctor always said that they were doing the right thing. More similarities to Michele and I. Hm. But Beaker got tore up in ever single episode while the Doctor looked on and smiled.
I always like making analogies to TV or puppets to my life. Seems to work for me.
Rizzo the Rat
Oh dude. Like you didn't like him. He was a New York rat with alot of friends. Fucking with him was starting a fire and making friends with him was like free beer. He had pull in the rat community. He would help you out if you didn't make fun of his accent too much. See, the rat was cool. He had a gang and they would own your ass pretty quick if you didn't give them the respect they deserved. See, another thing I think is funny is that all the cool characters seemed to come out when Jim Henson was at the end. I think that the drugs had really taken ahold of him when he wrote a script filled with rats, prawns and guys who blow up for the amusement of others.
That was the brilliance of Jim Henson.
You never knew if he was trying to make you smile or balls out on LSD. - T
michele chases the clouds away:
Anyhow. Animal. This is one cracked-out muppet that is not right in the head. I can imagine him being brought into some psych ward, screaming and roaring and making the orderlies mumble things like “lobotomy” and “shock treatment” and other pertinent Ramones lyrics. Whatever the hell was wrong with him, it made him a bit endearing to me. What can I say, I like troubled guys.
He is a drummer. So that might explain the not right in the head thing.
I envy a guy who gets to live in a garbage can. He doesn’t ever have to worry about mopping the floor or doing the dishes because hey, it’s a garbage pail. It’s supposed to be dirty. See, it’s all in the name. Oscar the Grouch. Smart move to make your name something like that. So people know what to expect.. If my nameplate on my office door said “Michele the Grouch” instead of “Michele, person you can grub coffee off of and steal Halloween candy from” then maybe I would be more likely to say “scram” when someone walks in expecting me to be sociable. Smart guy, that Oscar. Not only does he know how to keep people away from him, but he set it up so that he’s expected to be a dick. I need to make a new nameplate.
And that’s my three favorite muppet type people.
Now. Leave me alone. Get lost. Scram. -M
You know the drill by now. We told you ours. You tell us yours. Kinda like that old "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" game, but without the embarassing "oh you didn't mean my genitals?" moment.
And don't give us any of that Labyrinth crap. Sesame Street. Muppet movies. Muppet Show. Don't get all fancy and think outside the box on this one.