Wow what a week has passed me by! Already things are moving ahead into this grand New Year! I am looking forward to all the fun changes that will soon be happening! This week was spent suffering at the mercy of the guests at the hotel I work, and driving for hours to my brother’s home up north to have my car fixed. Thankfully I got everything done and was back in town soon enough to actually make it to work on time! Though it was close… I spent a good couple hours in the car with my sister-in-law, my two nephews, ages 6 and 10, and two nieces, ages 2 months and 13 years. It was fun, but noisy! I recommend you never feed those kids any McDonalds until you have the rope to tie them down with! What a mistake that was! My sister and I vowed never to do that again. One or two kids was ok, but FOUR was all together outrageous, not that my baby niece had anything! The day was fun and headache inducing at the same time. After a whirlwind trip we were back at the house calming the storm that was my two arguing nephews. I have to say that I am glad I am not yet a parent! What I can say was that when I awoke the next morning, all that sugar had worn off and my favorite young
men were better behaved. Though not perfect… What little boy is?

So I return home with a few days worth of memories and a car that functions a bit better than before, and the promise of a birthday gift to just die for… My brother surprised me greatly this weekend, and so did the rest of my family! Our birthday (Did I mention I was a twin?) is on March 5th and we turn the terrifying age of 29. The reason it is terrifying (for me) is that there are a certain number of goals I had set for myself to accomplish before I hit the big: “Three-Oh”. Sadly enough, I haven’t even finished one
of the four goals I had wanted to complete, so along with all the fun that normally happens in a year, I am feeling a bit disappointed in myself. When did I forget what I wanted in life? Why does it seem that the minute I might finish one of them, something goes awry and suddenly I’m back to square one?

(Where DID that phrase come from, and does anyone remember the TV show of the same name?) I cannot help but feel that maybe I didn’t try hard enough, or that maybe there was another goal I was supposed to have completed first.

I took my worries to my folks a few days ago, maybe it was weeks, I can’t recall. What I can recall is that they said not to put so much pressure on myself. One thing that sets me apart from my siblings is that I don’t have anyone to really rely on. I have no wife, nor a long term partner. (My brother is on like, year seven I think with his wonderful girlfriend Lisa! I still ask him when he’s gonna’ pop the question.) So in essence I do things in a solitary fashion. When I see things that way I tend to feel better, though not completely absolved of my own lethargy. It is, in essence my own fault that certain goals in my life remain uncompleted. Part of it is that I have so many things that I want to accomplish, that I will start one, and either run out of steam; or begin another without finishing the first thing I had set out to do. This results in neither goal becoming accomplished. I believe that recognizing this in myself will help me to maintain my focus long enough to at least get one of these five things done within the year. I have just about chosen which one it will be, and the equipment to facilitate such an undertaking will be arriving next week! Thanks to my wonderful brother and his family! I LOVE YOU GUYS!

My folks also gave me a gift for my birthday early as well, which was just a sweet and wonderful thing for them to do. I think part of it is for necessity, and part of it is because I have been going through a bit of a hard time with those I care about outside my familial circle. I am grateful to have such a wonderful support ring to remind me of what I have gained over the past year, as well as the true value of what was lost. They help me regain my perspective, and while they tell the truth to me whether it’s good or bad, they are always quick to point out that nothing is set in stone, and some changes can be for the better, and how sometimes you have to be the bad guy because sometimes people just refuse to listen. They remind me to let the past remain in the past, all while not forgetting the choices that brought me to the point where I am. That’s why families are so important to have, whether it is a family you were raised with, or just the people you hold dear!

So I have work to do in the next year! I have plenty to catch up on! Let’s just hope I can keep my mind focused on the one thing I’d like to finish before thirty hits me like a sack of wet handbags!

I hope you all find out the goals that you want to accomplish in this life, and I hope your week ahead is filled with the laughter of children, which to me is almost like hearing a pleased god in heaven! Bless you all! And don’t worry about me, I’m a Drag Queen. What do I know?

Matthew is just old and wise enough to know that old and wise can kind of suck.

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