BSG Season Finale: WTF?
by Paul Waldowski

Tease: Spoilerific questions brought about by Sunday's season finale

Okay, so the season finale wasn't quite as dramatic as the end of Season Two, but what the frak happened in the last ten minutes? I mean, we knew that nothing was going to happen to Baltar, so the trial lacked any real drama. This show doesn't kill off main characters, unless it's a cheap stunt. They always come back, because first and foremost, Battlestar Galactica is a soap opera.

What I'm talking about is the revelation of four more cylons. Now you might be saying, "What about Starbuck?" What about her? Everyone knew she wasn't dead and everyone knows that her bullshit "I'm gonna take you to Earth" thing is only going to be relevant for the first two minutes of next season's premiere and will take a backseat to melodramatic bitching until the middle of the season. So, frak Starbuck. It's the cylons that don't make sense.

tyrol1.JPG Think about it. Anders I can see. He has no real back story. The same goes for the President's aide. Tyrol's been freaking out that he's a cylon for the last two years. In fact, there was a little incident that took place in last season's finale where he beats the shit out of his future wife, because he's "under stress" or some nonsense. It was forgotten after all the New Caprica crap, as if the writers said, "Well, that was fucking stupid. Let's forget about it."

No, the real sticking point is One Eye Tigh. The man has served the fleet for 40 years. He's Adama's oldest friend. He fought in the first cylon war, before the cylons said "Fuck you!" and went to plan humanity's genocide. How the frak could he be a cylon when they were still the rebelling machines of mankind? It's ridiculous.

And how the hell did all of four of these cylons just happen to be on the ships that survived the cylon attack through mere chance? Anders is easily explained since he was on New Caprica, but the rest of them required a series of breaks, the odds of them surviving all are astronomical. Three cylons just happened to be on the Galactica. One of them was Boomer, who is one of the ruling cylons we've seen in the show. But Tigh and Tyrol are two different cylons unknown to everyone. All three just happen to be on the one ship that survived the attack and got away. And now Tigh and Tyrol are now suddenly part of a Very Special Group of cylons who are integral to the destiny of both species. Bullshit.

Paul is calling bullshit until the fall.

Out Of The Basement Archives


I was laughing my ass off by the end of the last 15 minutes.

Those four? NOT cylons. They're going to have something to do with finding Earth. They're somehow tuned in to Earth's spiritual/artistic wavelength or some other crap. You don't have them all humming "All Along The Watchtower" by Bob frakking Dylan and have them be toasters.

The thing that pissed me off was how they advertised, and quite proudly I might add, that BSG will return in 2008! When is SCI FI going to learn to treat it's audience better? I know they're the only game in town for geeks, but come on.


According to Ron Moore, they're cylons, but not as we know them.

I thought I was pissed at the end of Heroes when they said, "Heroes returns on April 23." When they said "Coming in 2008", I about had a conniption fit.


"But not as we know them?"

There are Rock'n'Roll Cylons?!

Who knew?


Hell, I might as well be the fifth cylon. I can't get that damned song out of my head. And since I can't download it or find it anywhere, I can't play it over and over again until I'm tired of it.


Try downloading Jimi Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower" damn guitar riffs ever!


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