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by Kali Pornia
so i broke up with my boyfriend. and there must be a sign on my forehead that says as much. because all of a sudden i'm covered in boys. i can't shake 'em off of me. this must sound really arrogant to people that don't know me (or to people that do) but i'm just telling you the facts. don't get me wrong, they're not all winners. but i mean they're not all losers either.
which leads me right up to a conversation i was having with my friend the other night. i asked her how many guys a girl can sleep with at one time in this day and age without being a slut. not at once. i just mean i'm going to be dating here in the soon time and i like to fuck. so i can only imagine that i would fuck some of the guys that i'm dating. the glitch is that i don't want to be in a relationship. so, let's say i want sex 5 times a week. that seems reasonable, right? but if i start fucking the same guy five times a week, we're going to end up in a relationship. unless he's gay. and really come to think of it that has happened to me too. fucked a gay guy so much that we ended up in a relationship. he's out smoking crack in hotel rooms now so no bother but at least i hope he's come to terms wiht his sexuality.
so, ya. five times a week without a relationship. i'd think i could manage that with three or four guys. but is three or four guys too many? trust me, two is not enough... because somebody in that situation is going to catch feelings (never know it could be me) and it would be down to one quicker than shit and then BAM! before i know it i'm in another relationship.
so i have two ex boyfriends. one's a trucker. you'd know this if you've been reading. he comes through town once every month if i'm lucky, and i AM lucky if you know what i mean. (ya sometimes even i don't know what i mean.) so that really doesn't cover much territory. i have another ex who lives in town. but exes are always kinda tricky. plus they're not as intoxicating as new fucks.
so really, is four boys too many? i think four is good. then i'm not clingy on any one of them. they'll not be sick of me, in fact they'll find my non-interest attractive and they'll try really hard to impress me. seriously, this could work.
sure, i bet some of you are at home judging me. shit, if i weren't me i'd be like crimony what a slut. but i think boys do this shit all the time. i can't afford to get in to another relationship right now. i'm just not ready for that crap yet. in fact, i'm going to try really hard not to get into a relationship. it's harder than it sounds for me. and it's also one of the things i don't really dig about me. i tend to get into relationships really fast. then i'm like dude i don't even really like you. meh. i know i know i don't like myself how can i like anyone else? dude i get it and i can't wait to start liking myself.
but in the mean time i'm going to have to get laid...