Wanted: Odd and Interesting Friends
by Matthew Chase

Well another week has just flown by. How did you spend your week? My week was filled with work and snow, which has suddenly decided that the ski season should survive for just a few more weeks. My plans however, have not changed; though I work at a popular hotel on a very lucrative ski resort. I will spend the next week packing my things in boxes for a move
that will occur within the next week. So hopefully by my next column, I will have moved to my new location! We hope to have internet access within a week or two and I am very excited! No worries my dear readers! Even without access at home I will still be able to fill you with stories, and my odd insights on a regular basis! Thank goodness for computer disks and good

So what to talk about this week? A lot has happened, and then again a lot hasn’t really changed. So I am kind of a little miffed. Why don’t I do a little talking about my favorite topic, MEN more importantly, GAY MEN. I find myself a little bit vexed and confused about a few things I have come to noticed about the gay community that I deal with here in Vermont. While I
have many friends, and a few ex-lovers within this area, I seem to notice a few patterns and a few real interesting men over the years. Most of it sadly and interestingly enough, seems to revolve around sex, so we may have to dive into those controversial and yet riveting waters of the oddness of gay men. I have recently been in contact, not by choice, but more by providence, with a gay man that happens to have a great heart. He is a wonderful man really, with relatively good values, and a great love for life and people. However, he doesn’t seem to possess the little cricket that acts as a conscience when it comes to his sexual practices. (You all remember that little guy that told Pinocchio what was a really BAD idea?) I met him in my younger days while I was still at cosmetology school. (Yes this little queen was almost a beautician before I dropped out. And if you sing that song from “Grease” I will find you and smack you about!) We met at a local watering hole and his good nature and his big heart won a bit of my affection. So we went on a few dates.

tailpipe.jpgWhen things got intimate however, he became a kind of animal. I am not talking about a man who just wanted sex. He had needs that I’m not sure I could fill. I suppose the upsetting thing about this, is that I would be called frequently, and at odd times with requests for sexual acts. All of which would make my blush in such a fashion that my guests at the hotel I worked at would comment, or at least take note of.

What possesses people to do this? I have received calls from one man once while I was working at a hotel a few years ago, asking if I would “shave him bald and fuck him and call him my bitch” and yet another asking me to “Skull fuck him and cum all over his face.” Both propositions are a little too far out there for what I call “lovemaking” and were both placed at such a time that I have no means to actually be honest and let the man on the other end of the telephone know that that’s not exactly what turns me on. I have received calls and e-mails to meet from people online asking me to do unspeakable things, all in the interest of sexual pleasure. Now I know that it takes many people and many different and often odd fetishes to keep the sexual revolution rolling. But I continue to wonder how on earth I manage to find such very odd and interesting men. I also wonder, how it is that people seem to think that certain things are ok, when really, at least in my world, they aren’t. Another question I ask myself is, what kind of world am I missing? Is there some sort of sexual plane that I am just not on? Should I be ok with receiving these requests? An even odder question: “Should I follow through with any of these bizarre and unusual offers?” My moral and ethical upbringing tells me to stay away from such behaviors. But I have to admit dear readers; that on occasion, I am quite curious about what I am missing. Now then, I am not promiscuous, nor do I think I could ever be as wild as these people that I meet. But I wonder if I should let maybe a few of my smaller inhibitions go. What do you think?

I do believe that many sexual practices are healthy and perfectly fine for consenting adults, but is that really the kind of FIRST impression you want to give romantic prospects? Then again many men have decided that they do not want relationships with others that are any more meaningful than a quickie or a one night stand, wanting to sample all of life’s little pleasures. I do know I am not one of those people. I know that sooner or later they will wind up old, and alone. Certainly NOT where I want to be. I think that once I have come across the man for me, we will have those discussions about how far we are willing to go sexually, and even do a little experimenting while we are at it. But that will come once we have gotten comfortable with one another and feel that we can be honest about our curiosities and personal fetishes. For the dating scene, I think that sometimes people just go too far and that can actually push prospective mates away. This is a little upsetting, because I believe that somewhere out there, there is someone for everyone. To see someone drive away a potential with bizarre offers and requests right on the first few weeks of dating makes me wonder if those same requests might be ok later on down the road.

But it would be too late to really find out, because the skid marks on the ground tell me that person surely won’t be back to find out if they overlooked a good love match.

There are also gay men who are completely rude, of course there are rude people in every subculture known to man, but gay men can be just as discriminating and stereotypical as people perceive us to be. Looking for “masculine acting people” Or saying things like “no one over 30 years old”. To me, this is just a horrific way to alienate yourself from people that you
might want to talk with. Who ever said you had to screw everyone that you spoke with? So if I were more on the feminine side I could not be friends with you?? Boy that makes you quite an asshole in my book. The phrase: “You aren’t really my type, but we can be friends” is much more polite to me than telling me not to even bother to say hello if I’m not tall enough, skinny enough, or have enough of a “masculine” outlook on life. So my advice to those of you with such items of unfriendliness on your profiles and ads is to remove it. Say that you are looking for a romantic partner with these traits, but that you look for friends of all types. Maybe you’ll meet the unexpected!

Until next week dear readers! Many happy thoughts to you all! Please keep smiling and enjoy the ever changing weather! Don’t worry about me, I’m a drag queen, what do I know?

Diary of A Vermont Drag Queen Archives


As a straight guy, let me throw in one of the most annoying characteristics of some gay men and women: The, "Oh, you're not homophobic so you MUST be in the closet." folks. So...because I'm nice to you that means I want to sleep with you? Because my wife doesn't run down the street screaming in terror from her lesbian friends, she must secretly be one?

WTF is up with that?


I got your message. Good luck with your move. Waitsfield will be lucky to have you.


It's funny, because I've been reading the forums at dating sites and it seems like straight women get that kind of crap a lot via email. Perhaps some guys are just more willing to be obnoxious and don't think about how bad it makes them look.


Have you ever considered that you might find friends if you look somewhere else on the internet than the gay dating sites? Or dating sites, period? Sorry, but most of what you'll find on those sites are lonely and desperate people, who are probably lonely and desperate for very good reasons. I found a great online friend years ago, by going to a pen-pal site and specifically stating that I was looking for a male friend, no romance wanted, happily married was fine. EJ and I have been writing back and forth for almost ten years, and he is a very cool, very happily married human.


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