Dirty Laundry, Issue 3
Officer Jo here of the FTTW Fashion Police Unit and I've just snagged us a Lifetime Fashion Offender, Mr. "Weird" Al Yankovic of Lynwood, California.
Actor, Writer, Director, Musician and Voice-over for Animation. All of these describe Weird Al Yankovic. From his debut of "My Bologna" (parodying The Knack's My Sharona) on The Dr. Demento show all the way through 3 decades of parody music to "White & Nerdy" in 2006, Weird Al has not let age, music shifts, or fashion slow him down in his pursuit to become the most famous nerd in history.
Whether he's acting in movies like "UHF", doing voices for "The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy", writing skits for "Comic Relief", putting together songs for "Down & Out with Donald Duck" or directing videos for The Counting Crows, Weird Al has not let show business deter him from his fashion choices. He's managed to bring Hawaiian shirts back into the mainstream of Geek Couture, and made Vans a popular shoe for people who don't just live at the beach.
Seeing as Mr. Yankovic has done so much for Geek culture (and been happy doing it) - and seeing as he has a clean Celebrity arrest record (which is amazing in itself!), we're going to let him off with a warning this time.
Mr. Yankovic, if you continue this wild fashion behavior, I'm going to have to bring you in on a FTTW563; being flogged with bananas by our staff. You've been warned.
One small suggestion for working on your look: tie the hair back once in awhile. We get the idea that you have big, curly hair.
Top 5 Celebrity Gossip for the week of May 28th
5. Break ups this week - Tom Arnold and wife Shelby Roos have filed for divorce after 5 years of marriage. You would think after being married to Roseanne that this man would try to hold onto the beautiful Roos! Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and wife Dany, who he has been with for 17 years and married for more than 10 years are calling it quits.
4. Katie Holmes is keeping up her T.G.I.F. snacks on the set of her new movie...this week it was sno-cones! For the past few weeks she has been bringing treats to the more than 200 workers on the set. So far we have seen reports of pizza, cupcakes, Coke floats and now sno-cones! Let's make some guesses in the comments on what could be next!
3. Unless you've been living under a rock for the past fews weeks you have already heard about "Nuclear Wednesday". Rosie O. and her The View co-host Elisabeth H. had an all out bitch fest that turned into a split screen cat fight for all of it's viewers to gawk at. There is video all over the internet showing this live, on-air blow-up but I found mine at here. Rosie's contract with the show was up in June but she has decided to not come back at all. Check out her website for fabulous ramblings in haiku about her struggles!
2. Lindsay Lohan made a complete ass of herself this week when pictures of the underage celeb. were leaked all over the press. This pictures showed an un-conscience Lohan draped in the passenger seat of a car leaving a club last week. Not only is this chick underage, supposedly in AA and has just left rehab, but she is also under suspicion for DUI and cocaine possession! Who is having the best week ever??? If you are a coke snorting, underage, rehab hopping, child star than you must be LiLo!
1. Be on the look out this week for Paris Hilton to be wearing bright orange prison garb. The over-exposed blond is due to report to the L.A. jail this week to serve her 23 day sentence for violating her DUI probation. Her original sentence was for 45 days but due to over-crowding it the system the starlet will serve approx. 23 days. She has been preparing for prison by reading all sorts of religious books and crying alot. When she isn't reading and crying she can be seen hitting the clubs and shopping...exactly what I would be doing before hitting the slammer! I'm still anxious to see if she will serve more than one full day!
That's the wrap-up for this week...the dirty dirty laundry!
Jo writes Amie, Bonnie is the author of Raising Hell. Together, they fight fashion and celebrity crime.
Officer Jo here. We've just pulled over Icelandic pop singer, Bjork, for a repeat fashion offense. Apparently being a child of eight did not teach her anything about how to dress like other people or how to present herself to the public. The Sugar Cubes lead singer has repeatedly made "Worst Dressed" lists for years, most notably for her "Dead Swan" dress at an awards show in 2001. THAT fashion faux paux not only got her on every worst dressed list that year, but catapulted her into a fashion icon for her absurd taste in fashion statements.
nothing to waver from her eclectic style choices, whether it be a dead swan or an outfit made completely of yarn in every color imaginable. She definitely has a very "original" personal style that no one should try to copy for fear of their own personal safety.
3. Cameron Diaz and Mindfreak illusionist Criss Angel have been spending some time canoodling all over Vegas this week - what a very strange pair!
Officer Jo here of the FTTW Fashion Police and this week's fashion culprit: David Arquette, the youngest of five, has managed to garner the title of being one of the most aesthetically interesting dressers in Hollywood today. His love for bow tie has brought them back into the main stream of fashion (He was adorable in A Very, Merry Muppet Christmas!), but its his lack of style that makes him a Walking, Talking Fashion No-No.
a plaid suit, or just way too many sequins on a blue suit - David Arquette's oddly quirky personal style keeps him on "Worst Dressed" lists across the country as a repeat Fashion Offender". No one can manage to figure out how Arquette continuously makes bad style choices while married to the moderately fashionable star of DIRT, Courtney Cox-Arquette. The couple always look strangely paired when out in Hollywood, but its mostly due to their clashing style choices.
4. Almost every celebrity who is or is trying to be a scientologist is chiming in on the marriage of Tom and Katie. The Zombie Bride and her Couch Jumping Husband have been under speculation these past few weeks that their marriage is on the rocks....not so say their friends! Katie makes chocolate covered popcorn for their movie nights! Doesn't get more solid than that!
2. This week David Hasselhoff had his teenage daughter video tape him while in a drunken stupor. Now while this might seem fun and cool in college, when your wife is divorcing you and telling the world that you abused you and your children, this might not have been on the top ten best ways to conduct yourself. He is now saying he needs an exorcist to rid him of his alcoholism....somebody find this guy an AA meeting...who has Mel Gibson's number?