Good Morning Campers!
by Turtle Jones
God, I love being stupid first thing in the morning. It's like better than cocaine. I'm still in Turtleland and my morning poo is still rising so since I had some time to kill, I thought I would type type type out the new Group Late Night Typing type deelobob.
This weeks theme was suggested by Bonnie. We think it is a good one. For future reference, if any of you alls have an idea for a Group LNT, email it to us and we will use it. But, don't do it in here. Makes things messy and dirty. Mongo doesn't like mess and dirt. Mongo just pawn in game of life.
So anywho (god I hate people who say "anywho") we decided to go with hers cause we thought it was a good idea and we are easily swayed by the Keepers Of The Boobies.
So this is it....
You know how Da Pres has H(J)ail to the C(T)hief as he walks into doors and people are like cheering him and stuff (See how I snuck in my political neutralness there? I do that cause I am the governor.) We want to know your theme song. What would they play as you walked into a hall, room, bar, or bathroom as your entrance song?
Cause I can do that. Cause I am the governor. (I gotta stop watching so many bad Goldie Hawn movies)
Motorhead - The Road Crew
There is absolutely nothing in the song that isn't perfect. I mean like Lemmy just talks to me! He speaks to me! AND Lemmy likes The Golden Girls, too. Another theory of mine that Lemmy and I were conjoined twins separated by our facial warts when still newborns.
Anyways. A great song that just pretty much goes with my attitude in life.
"You were fun but I gotta keep going."
Well, my old attitude.
Well, that's the first one. And now that you know mine, doesn't life just make a little more sense?
But we aren't done yet! We need yours!
So what be it, matey?
(God damn it. Pirate is rubbing off on me....)
Deep Purple--Smoke on the Water
Especially the first riff. But if that was my themesong, I couldn't walk through doors the normal way. It'd be like, the song starts, and the door slowly swings open, with bright lights and smoke and shit, and there I am, fat cigar in my hand and my chick by my side. Then I take one more pull from the cigar, throw it behind me, and shit starts exploding as we walk into the night.
I'm going with the Theme From Peter Gunn.
Mine? "Black Magic Woman" - just ask any of my ex's.
Mine would be "I'm The Man" by Anthrax.
Who's the man?
I'm the man.
Oh, man, I think I'd have to do an Anthrax song too. However, mine would be "Startin Up A Posse." It's so filthy, and it has to do with censorship of music and being a radio DJ that's really important to me as a political statement and ...
oh who am i kidding? i just want scott ian following me around yelling dirty words at passersby.
no recess - nirvana
won't you believe it, it's just my luck..
BY god this may be one of the most important questions ever. You see I was training to be a pro-wrestler at one point in time and aside from the love of the sport the one thing that attracted me the most was the fact that I wanted pyro to go off and music to blare anytime I walked into a room. I wanted it everywhere, not just entering the arena. Walk into the conference room *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* the firworks hit the sky and in I walk through haze. Go to a funeral:
But the music sets the tone. The music not only lets people know that you are in the porverbial "house" but that you are also there to kick ass, take names and nail everyone's sister. The music says ,"If you come near me I might just rip your face off and use it as a mask next halloween while I'm stealing candy from children."
Stagefright - The Band
I'd have to shorten the intro a tad, or walk reeeeally slow so that the CHAZUNK CHAZUNK CHAZUNK part would start just as I crossed the threshold, or stepped up to the podium, whichever. 'Cause you know, honesty is my only excuse.
"Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba. It pretty much sums up my life and how I deal with it. It also has a good beat and people can sing along with it. Come to think of it, it would be the perfect song upon entering a bathroom stall and declaring to the toilet, "Well thunderpot, I do believe you've just met your match."
I'll make my entrance to AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long". Yup - that's me!!
Stream of Consciousness - Dream Theater
That's how most of my life is lead -- one thought to the next. And it's an instrumental, so I don't have to get bogged down on how the lyrics apply/don't apply to my life.
Keeping on the earlier Anthrax theme: Now it's Dark, 'cause I am one fuckin' well dressed man! Well, not really ... but don't you fuckin' look at me!
"my way" - sid vicious
(ed. note...we said just one song for chissakes...)
Microphone Fiend / In My Eyes
Why two ? Because I can't pick just one. "Microphone Fiend" for those late night walks, past the dark alleys and the whores on the corners. Swaying and bobbing along with the bass line, watching the lyrics unfurl in my mind, like the world's best treasure map. Past Geno's and Rays headed towards home after a long night with the boys and knowing that it's cool, I won't get upset, I'll kick a hole in your speaker, pull the plug and then I'll jet. "In My Eyes" for those times when my almost unflappable, ninja-like cool finally slips and I need to get a little raucous. Because sometimes, it helps to remember that at least I'm fucking trying.... What the fuck have you done ?
Denton 6, Richland 1
The Denton Broncos soundly beat their Richland opponents Tuesday night, racking up five runs in the first three innings and finishing 6-1.
Denton (6-6) scored three runs in the third inning to really put the game away, then added another in the fifth inning to raise their score to six.
Denton showed excellent hitting and base running, with Able Baker hitting a double, Dustin Riley hitting a triple, and Preston Springer hitting a double and two home runs.
"The pitching was good – we threw three different pitchers at them and they all had strikes," Denton assistant coach Brian Chandler said. "We also had no errors and a good defense.
"We're just going to be working on consistency. We've played some good games and some not so good, so we need to get four or five in a row that are played really well."
Denton will be playing in the Waco Tournament this Thursday, Friday and Saturday; their first game will be on Thursday at 5 p.m.
Denton 6, Richland 1
Richland 000 100 0 -- 1 3 0
Denton 113 010 0 -- 6 7 0
Shit. That was supposed to go to the news room copy desk.
Johnny St. Clair again:
after some discussion late last night, it was suggested that my theme song be "it's raining men."
It's never too late to be gay, johnny.
So on that note we end another week of Who Shows Up For LNT. We had a pretty good question and a pretty good response from the writers. Well, we think we did.
But, now it is your turn!
What song would they play for you as you strolled into the bar or courthouse or whatever. Hell, it could even be when you are having sex.
We don't care.
Just tell us what they play.