Good Morning Campers!
by Turtle Jones

God, I love being stupid first thing in the morning. It's like better than cocaine. I'm still in Turtleland and my morning poo is still rising so since I had some time to kill, I thought I would type type type out the new Group Late Night Typing type deelobob.

goldie-hawn-003.jpgThis weeks theme was suggested by Bonnie. We think it is a good one. For future reference, if any of you alls have an idea for a Group LNT, email it to us and we will use it. But, don't do it in here. Makes things messy and dirty. Mongo doesn't like mess and dirt. Mongo just pawn in game of life.

So anywho (god I hate people who say "anywho") we decided to go with hers cause we thought it was a good idea and we are easily swayed by the Keepers Of The Boobies.

So this is it....

Theme songs!

You know how Da Pres has H(J)ail to the C(T)hief as he walks into doors and people are like cheering him and stuff (See how I snuck in my political neutralness there? I do that cause I am the governor.) We want to know your theme song. What would they play as you walked into a hall, room, bar, or bathroom as your entrance song?

I'll start.

Cause I can do that. Cause I am the governor. (I gotta stop watching so many bad Goldie Hawn movies)

Anywho....

Turtle

Motorhead - The Road Crew

There is absolutely nothing in the song that isn't perfect. I mean like Lemmy just talks to me! He speaks to me! AND Lemmy likes The Golden Girls, too. Another theory of mine that Lemmy and I were conjoined twins separated by our facial warts when still newborns.

Anyways. A great song that just pretty much goes with my attitude in life.

"You were fun but I gotta keep going."

Well, my old attitude.

hallway-long.jpgWell, that's the first one. And now that you know mine, doesn't life just make a little more sense?

But we aren't done yet! We need yours!

So what be it, matey?

(God damn it. Pirate is rubbing off on me....)

Branden:

Deep Purple--Smoke on the Water

Especially the first riff. But if that was my themesong, I couldn't walk through doors the normal way. It'd be like, the song starts, and the door slowly swings open, with bright lights and smoke and shit, and there I am, fat cigar in my hand and my chick by my side. Then I take one more pull from the cigar, throw it behind me, and shit starts exploding as we walk into the night.

Ernie:

I'm going with the Theme From Peter Gunn.

Pat:

Mine? "Black Magic Woman" - just ask any of my ex's.

Michele:

Mine would be "I'm The Man" by Anthrax.

Because, even though I am a woman, I am the THE MAN. And everyone needs to know that. I will have "I'm so bad, I should be in detention" as my motto. It will be stitched in gold lettering on the black silk robe I will wear everywhere I go.

Who's the man?

I'm the man.

Baby Huey:

Oh, man, I think I'd have to do an Anthrax song too. However, mine would be "Startin Up A Posse." It's so filthy, and it has to do with censorship of music and being a radio DJ that's really important to me as a political statement and ...

oh who am i kidding? i just want scott ian following me around yelling dirty words at passersby.

kali:

no recess - nirvana

won't you believe it, it's just my luck..

wrestlemania.gifTravis:

BY god this may be one of the most important questions ever. You see I was training to be a pro-wrestler at one point in time and aside from the love of the sport the one thing that attracted me the most was the fact that I wanted pyro to go off and music to blare anytime I walked into a room. I wanted it everywhere, not just entering the arena. Walk into the conference room *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* the firworks hit the sky and in I walk through haze. Go to a funeral:
"Ladies and gentlemen we are here today to mourn the loss of...."
*BOOM**BOOM**BOOM* Here comes Travis.

But the music sets the tone. The music not only lets people know that you are in the porverbial "house" but that you are also there to kick ass, take names and nail everyone's sister. The music says ,"If you come near me I might just rip your face off and use it as a mask next halloween while I'm stealing candy from children."

My Theme music: Disturbed: Liberate.

This is such a great LNT idea...I've got a boner right now.

Timmer:

Stagefright - The Band
or
Mannish Boy - Muddy Waters

Richard:

Damage Inc.

I'd have to shorten the intro a tad, or walk reeeeally slow so that the CHAZUNK CHAZUNK CHAZUNK part would start just as I crossed the threshold, or stepped up to the podium, whichever. 'Cause you know, honesty is my only excuse.

Paul:

"Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba. It pretty much sums up my life and how I deal with it. It also has a good beat and people can sing along with it. Come to think of it, it would be the perfect song upon entering a bathroom stall and declaring to the toilet, "Well thunderpot, I do believe you've just met your match."

Bonnie:

I'll make my entrance to AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long". Yup - that's me!!

Cullen:

Stream of Consciousness - Dream Theater

That's how most of my life is lead -- one thought to the next. And it's an instrumental, so I don't have to get bogged down on how the lyrics apply/don't apply to my life.

Keeping on the earlier Anthrax theme: Now it's Dark, 'cause I am one fuckin' well dressed man! Well, not really ... but don't you fuckin' look at me!

viciousmug.jpg
Johnny St. Clair:

"my way" - sid vicious
"warning" - biggie
"drink, fight, and fuck" - gg allin
"feel good hit of the summer" - QOTmutherfuckinSA
"wolf like me" - tv on the radio
"coolidge" - descendents
"tha shiznit" - snoop
anything by cody chesnuTT

plus that "banana-fana-fo-fana" shit.

(ed. note...we said just one song for chissakes...)

The Finn:

Microphone Fiend / In My Eyes

Why two ? Because I can't pick just one. "Microphone Fiend" for those late night walks, past the dark alleys and the whores on the corners. Swaying and bobbing along with the bass line, watching the lyrics unfurl in my mind, like the world's best treasure map. Past Geno's and Rays headed towards home after a long night with the boys and knowing that it's cool, I won't get upset, I'll kick a hole in your speaker, pull the plug and then I'll jet. "In My Eyes" for those times when my almost unflappable, ninja-like cool finally slips and I need to get a little raucous. Because sometimes, it helps to remember that at least I'm fucking trying.... What the fuck have you done ?

Ian:

Denton 6, Richland 1

The Denton Broncos soundly beat their Richland opponents Tuesday night, racking up five runs in the first three innings and finishing 6-1.

Denton (6-6) scored three runs in the third inning to really put the game away, then added another in the fifth inning to raise their score to six.

Denton showed excellent hitting and base running, with Able Baker hitting a double, Dustin Riley hitting a triple, and Preston Springer hitting a double and two home runs.

"The pitching was good – we threw three different pitchers at them and they all had strikes," Denton assistant coach Brian Chandler said. "We also had no errors and a good defense.

image_189207.jpg"We're just going to be working on consistency. We've played some good games and some not so good, so we need to get four or five in a row that are played really well."

Denton will be playing in the Waco Tournament this Thursday, Friday and Saturday; their first game will be on Thursday at 5 p.m.

Denton 6, Richland 1

Richland 000 100 0 -- 1 3 0

Denton 113 010 0 -- 6 7 0
D – Joe Hunt, Miles Mulkey(3) Dustin Riley (5) and Able Baker. R – Johnston, McCormick (3), Weatherholt (5), Cox (6) and Peresh. WP – Joe Hunt. LP – Johnston. 2B: D – Able Baker, Preston Springer. 3B: D – Dustin Riley. HR: D -- Preston Springer (2). R – Garcia. D – 6-6.

Ian again:

Shit. That was supposed to go to the news room copy desk.

Well, if anyone wanted to know how the local high school baseball team did in their 12th game of the season, you've got a 12 hour jump on everyone else.

When people ask how you knew such coveted information ahead of time - tell them you know a guy.

Johnny St. Clair again:

after some discussion late last night, it was suggested that my theme song be "it's raining men."

so, am i too late to get it switched to that one or what?

Michele again:

It's never too late to be gay, johnny.

So on that note we end another week of Who Shows Up For LNT. We had a pretty good question and a pretty good response from the writers. Well, we think we did.

But, now it is your turn!

What song would they play for you as you strolled into the bar or courthouse or whatever. Hell, it could even be when you are having sex.

We don't care.

Just tell us what they play.

Comments

Ok, so my accidentally sending you a game report from work makes it into the LNT, but my theme song doesn't? Sheesh.

Anyway, I was going to say "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-lot, but that was just because I was being a smart ass.

Mostly. I mean, it would be kind of cool because all these curvy girls in thong bikinis would have to follow me around to dance to it. Plus, I bet Sir Mix-a-lot is fun at parties.

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Has to be AC/DC Highway to HEll.

"It ain't easy, living free.."

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Personal Note:

I re-read what i wrote and that boner came back with a vengeance.

Greatest
Topic
Ever

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rakim + minor threat = winner

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I've only ever been given one theme song and it was my junior year of High School. I was in a Shakespeare class and I was playing my first starring role. We were doing a role reversal of "Taming of the Shrew", called "Taming of the Brute". I played Patricia, instead of Patrucio. I had a great entrance. I entered in high heeled booted, black nylons, a short black skirt, a red silk shirt and a leather trench coat. I had my hair pulle dinto a tight bun and as I entered I was applying Ruby Red lipstick to the song "Maneatter" by Hall & Oats.

To this day whenever I hear that song I stand up a little straighter, aim my tits for the sky and suddenly I have a strut.

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Aside from that I'd have to put Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation", and Alnis Morrisette's "You Should Know" on my personal theme song list.

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The Wizard by Black Sabbath or Search and Destroy by the Stooges.

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I actually thought of this topic while watching the Presidential Address. It seemed like "the pres" song would never end...and then then damn stand-and-clap thing started and I had to turn off the tv. Oh well...it made for a good topic!

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My two theme songs were given to me by other friends :P "Fast and Frightening" and "Freak Magnet", both by L7.

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Faster and Louder - The Dictators.

Talk, talk, talk, talk, keeps getting in the way
Speaking as a young artiste who has so much to say
So now you know my situation
understand my aggravation
building up so strong inside
cause I wanna make some noise
I can play
Faster and louder
I can dance
Faster and louder
I can live
Faster and louder
I'm a man
Faster and louder
Feel the need to express myself
Think I'll form a band and call it Yazoo Squelch
Some say it's an abberation
I know it's my avocation
step aside and watch me fly
cause I'm gonna make some noise
I can talk
Faster and louder
I can eat
Faster and louder
I can screw
Faster and louder
I'm a man, I'm a man
Faster and louder
I can scream
Faster and louder
I can jive
Faster and louder
walk the dog
Faster and louder
mow the lawn
Faster and louder
jump back jack!
Faster and louder
get down Bernice!
Faster and louder
Hot Pants!


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